“Okay, you two. This begins our twenty-week ultrasound.”Twenty weeks!“Today we will be checking for the growth and development of your baby, verify if you have enough amniotic fluid, the baby’s position, and the heartbeat. I will take measurements and pictures for you to keep. I cannot discuss anything medical with you; your doctor will do that. Then, only if you want, and if the baby cooperates, I will tell you the sex of your child.”
She beams at us. Her smooth, brown cheeks dimple before she asks. “Do you want to learn the sex of your child today?”
Celeste and I look at each other. Her hazel eyes encourage me to make the decision, but I don’t know who I am right now. By default, I know the suspense would kill me.
“Yes,” I answer as sure as I can in the moment.
“Great!”
She rubs some gel onto Celeste’s stomach and glides the wand across her belly. The images on the screen are black and grey blots. I have no idea what I’m looking at. I see a quick glimpse of what I imagine is the baby, and it’s gone.
“Oh wow. Somebody is hyper today,” the sonographer laughs as she searches.
I see the outline of a baby and my heart ceases. It’s an incredible feeling that I cannot explain.
“Gotcha!” She presses some buttons on her machine, and I hear rapid beats fill the room. “Here’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
I used to think I would never hear that sentence. Then I thought I wouldn’t hear anything like that any time soon. I was wrong. Is it normal to want to cry when you hear the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard? I’m not sure if Celeste feels my inner turmoil, but her squeezing my hand is reassuring.
I’m going to be a father.That thought stuns me through the majority of the appointment until the ultrasound lady speaks again.
“Okay parents, this is the moment of truth…” She chuckles to herself. “Well, your child isn’t shy; his legs are wide open.”
“His?” It’s...it’s a boy?”
I stumble over my words, which isn’t like me. The excitement pinging in my chest makes me inarticulate. My brain is filled with flashes of all the things I will do with my son and the wealth of knowledge I would pass along.
“It’s a boy!” the sonographer confirms with a smile that shows all her teeth.
“Don’t get too excited,” Celeste jokes. “I hear baby boys are quite fascinated with their mothers.”
“They are! At least mine was. When they are younger, you are the most beautiful and amazing person they know. They just want to squeeze you, lie on you, and kiss you whenever they can. Then, they get older and get embarrassed if you show them any affection in public.”
“It is in phases,” I interject. “I still think my mother is amazing, but she does get carried away with the hugs. I remember thinking my dad was my hero.”
“Well yeah,” the lady agrees as she wipes some gel off Celeste’s belly. “Fathers and sons still have special bonds, but they want all the cuddles from Mommy.”
I smirk at her. “Well, I guess I’ll have to be the fun parent.”
Celeste rolls her eyes, but it feels good to have a light moment especially since she has a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
After a laugh, she’s back to business. “Okay, you two hang tight. I have to run the report over to the doctor for her to review. Then she’ll be in to talk to you.”
She’s gone in a flurry of teal-colored scrubs, leaving us in awkward silence. The irritation and frustration creep back in, and I release her hand in favor of rubbing my face. I plant my elbows on my knees. Everything is sinking in and making sense. This is why she didn’t want to meet in person. This is why her silences are loaded.Pregnant.I laugh to myself at the double meaning and shake my head in disbelief.
“I know you might not believe me because it’s something people always say when they getcaught…” She put the word caught in air quotes. “But, I was going to tell you—”
I turn my eyes toward her and meet her gaze for the first time since sitting down.
“Oh yeah? And when was that going to happen?”
I shake my head when she has the nerve to look annoyed.
“Tonight or tomorrow. It depended on the mail.”
“The mail? You were telling me via mail?”
“No.” Celeste shook her head. “I was going to invite you to dinner—”
