Celeste
Who would have thought that I would meet such a pretty day with dread? It’s a warm day but not too warm. The wind is light, and the sun shines down on the water and sand, giving them a warm peaceful glow. If my life was as serene as the scene, I would grab Beau’s hand and run to the beach; but it’s not. My life is a big ball of ‘why,’ and I don’t know how to fix it. Yes, it would be easy to wish that Wes would get drunk and stumble onto the train tracks right before a train passes, but evil doesn’t die easily. Weston is mean enough to live well into his hundreds.
I don’t want to think about him anymore. I watch Beau as he locks up the house and ambles toward me with the tote he’d gotten me filled with all the stuff he purchased the day prior. I wanted to be mad or even call him a bully for forcing me to accept the clothes, but I know he was doing it from a kind place in his heart. He will not wait to rub it in my face or remind me of all he does for me. Beau did it just because he wants to see me smile. I push the shades I didn’t ask for on top of my head and check my reflection in the window. He actually did a good job— A light-blue ripped jeggings with a whitewash, a flirty floral halter top, and jeweled sandals.
He tosses the bag filled with hair products, four pairs of jeans, five shirts, two pairs of shorts, three dresses, four bra and panty sets, three pairs of fuzzy socks, two pieces of lingerie, and a pair of tennis shoes over his shoulder and gives me a long assessing look.
“I almost resent seeing you wearing clothes.” He circles me slowly like a predator assessing its prey. “But damn your ass looks good in those jeans.”
I would think he’d be satisfied with all the times we’ve jumped each other since the sex ban was lifted. We got plenty of orgasms, if nothing else, out of the time we’d spent together. We’ve helped each other through our sexless ruts and had a few meaningful conversations sprinkled in the mix. I don’t know our exact purpose in each other’s lives but I feel we taught each other that it’s okay to move on in life.
I turn to face him. I watch him drop the bag in the backseat and shut the door. His eyes are serious when they meet mine again.
“Are you sure?”
I nod and withhold a sigh at the resurfacing of our most recent debate. Beau wants to grab my hand and storm the castle but I know that approach will ruffle the Chesterfields. I want to get away from them, not launch a drawn-out, nasty war.
“I’m not trying to be difficult, but please give me an explanation of why I can’t help you with this. Why can’t I see you after this? Why must we pretend we’ve never met?”
I nod again. It’s a fair question. I understand why he needs me to explain. I would love for him to know that this is not goodbye, but it’s necessary.
“Weston is evil and spiteful. Plus, although he cheated on me every chance he could get, he won’t like me having another man in my life. He already tried to kill the single me. Can you imagine what he’d do if he guessed at half the things we did to each other since we met? You would join me in hell. I’m giving you your freedom.”
“I’m not scared of Wes—”
“You should be. His mind goes places normal people shouldn’t. You feel love, compassion, and respect. Those words aren’t in his vocabulary. He will use it against you. Besides, I need you in a different capacity. I need you to play a very important role.”
Beau leans in; I ignore the scent of him. I cannot stay any longer. I must go. His eyes are green spheres of questions.
“Are you going to elaborate?”
“I will. When the time is right.”
He nods sadly and opens the door for me. Reluctantly, I climb inside the car. We drive in silence until we’re just outside of town. We decided he’d get me into walking-distance, so no one could see who rescued me. Beau pulls off and parks where his car isn’t visible to people driving along the street. His sigh is heavy and tinged with sadness as he looks at me. I unfasten my seatbelt, peck him on the lips, and jump out of the car before I ask him to forget the whole thing.
I’m scared to face the Chesterfields. I don’t like the outlook on my quality of life or life expectancy, yet I don’t want to fixate all my hopes on Beau. It’s not fair to him to have to swoop in and jeopardize his peace because I made a terrible decision seven years ago. I will woman up and find a solution.
I take a calming breath and open the back door to retrieve the tote.
“Celeste…”
I hear Beau say my name right before I close the door. I pretend I didn’t hear him. We need a clean break, or I’ll never want to leave. I power forward, ignoring the tears threatening to fall. The last thing either one of us needs to cry in front of each other again.
Beau’s hand grips mine and pulls me back before I can reach the clearing. He spins me to face him and cups my face; his thumbs wipe away my tears.
Worse, there’s a tinge of hurt and sadness in his eyes.
“If you must walk out of my life abruptly, you will at least tell me goodbye.”
Now, I feel worse. I probably look like an unappreciative bitch but goodbye hurts more than I expected. I’ve argued with myself ad nauseam about this very thing. I cannot have strong feelings for Beau. I cannot be this attached to someone I’ve known less than a week. I’m projecting my desire for a peaceful life onto him. That’s all.
“I don’t do well with goodbyes.”
His brows furrow as he studies me. “Too bad. As a person who was robbed of a very important goodbye, I take all I can get.” He leans his forehead against mine. “It doesn’t have to be goodbye, Celeste. I don’t feel right sending you back to that monster, defenseless.”
“I’m not. I’m armed with a lot of solid legal advice thanks to you.”
“Let me help you,” he implores.
