Beau gives me a tissue and scoops me into a spooning position. He makes me feel safe, even if the feeling will be fleeting.
“Ready to talk about it? I’m not just being nosey; sometimes, it helps to get it out.”
Lying in the dark after a bad dream has me more willing to share, but the Chesterfield’s reach has purchased a lot of supporters; Beau could be one.
“I don’t know where to start.”
“How about you tell me who abused you.” I stiffen at his words. How did he know? “The signs are there, Celeste. You flinched when I picked you up, partial truths, the fleeting eye contact…” He kisses my shoulder. “And the small scars on your body.”
“No one ever believes me. He convinced them I’m clumsy.”
“I believe you.”
“You might stop believing me when I tell you his name.” Weston’s dad is the mayor. The rich and influential family pays off people to keep their imageclean.
“Try me.”
I take a deep breath and release it before talking into the dark. “I’m still legally married.”
Beau stiffens but doesn’t let me go. I continue when he remains quiet.
“I met him my second year of college; he made me quit right before senior year. I know now it was to control me. Then, I’d believed him when he said I’d be ‘too busy as the society wife of a doctor to have a career of my own.’”
I wipe away a tear.
“He separated me from my friends and family and wouldn’t allow me to work. He kept my clothes under lock and key except for what I was wearing for the day. He made it hard for me to leave. I wouldn’t have any money most of the time. He’d give me $2,000 a month but wasn’t clear how he’d want me to spend it. One month he beat me for spending the money on groceries and necessities because I didn’t buy designer clothes. I was messing up his reputation, he said. The next month, I spent it all on designer items—which was like two things because it’s expensive. I was beaten for not managing my money. Eventually, I started buying from discount stores and hiding the rest of the money. I would change the tags to designer labels.”
The memory saddens and pisses me off. I had better treatment as a child than I did as an adult with a husband. Beau squeezes me but doesn’t speak. He’s silently asking me to continue.
“I could only visit with my parents when he was present. I had to keep up the façade that I was extremely happy to be with him. He would kick my parents out if they asked too many questions. He monitored every call and text I sent. He would take my cell with him when he went to work, only leaving me with a landline. One day, I slipped a note in my mom’s purse detailing my hell. I told them not to go to the authorities since they were in his family’s pockets. I told them to open a safe-deposit box for me and stash the money I’d saved.”
I dab at my nose and the flowing tears with the tissue.
“The next time they visited, I hugged my dad and slipped money in his pocket. It was so awkward. My parents were pissed and frustrated, and we all had to ignore the elephant in the room. After a few months, I had $4,000 saved. It was enough to get a ticket and flee. He kept all my credentials in his wallet. I told my parents to go online and do a change of address for my driver’s license. I’d convinced him that I wanted my mom to see how nice my license photo came out, but I really needed to give them all the information on the front.”
The storm momentarily gets my attention when the thunder claps loud enough to shake the house. I pull the cover over us and remain on my path down memory lane hell.
“Once they had my license, I waited for the opportunity to run. He had a convention across the country. He would usually take me and make me stay in the room, but he was in the cheating-on-me-and-bragging-about-it phase. He wanted me to feel as if I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love; however, I was looking for the closest exit. His attention on other women was making his control sloppy. He took the woman instead. He threatened to call me on the hour every hour to make sure I stayed put. He also planned to have random people stop by and make sure I stayed home. I left around midnight. I walked miles to the next town where my dad was waiting with my money, a new phone, and my license. He drove me to the next state and returned home before sunrise, so he could act surprised when I was reported missing. I didn’t tell them exactly where I was going because I didn’t want them to be pressed for information. They could say they didn’t know and mean it.”
“Just like now.”
I nodded at Beau’s statement. “Yes, just like now, except this time, I didn’t run. I served him with divorce papers the moment I made it to a different time zone. I spent six months out of reach. He didn’t know where I was, and I didn’t leave much for him to find me. I purchased a bus ticket north and a plane ticket from north to west. I had a friend he didn’t know pick me up, and we went south.”
“Misdirect.”
“Yes. I needed time to rebuild my confidence, learn how to swim, and take self-defense classes. I also went to the range and learned how to shoot. I hopped between friends. I had the friend I was staying with rent me a car, then I’d drive a few states away, where the next friend would pick me up and drive me to their state.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“It was…is. I returned a little under a year later.”
“So, he couldn’t claim you deserted him and fault you for divorce?”
“Exactly. I returned seven months ago. He fought me on the divorce, making everything more difficult than it should because he’d thought he had so much control over me that he didn’t need a prenup. He accused me of everything to get the divorce in his favor—including abuse! He had no evidence. When my lawyer started digging into my medical records, he decided on mediation. He didn’t want his secrets to come out in a trial.”
“And the dream?”
Beau’s warm hand caresses my arm. I snuggle closer to his body; his erection nudges my ass cheek. I don’t want to talk about Wes anymore. I want Beau to make me forget.
