His gaze softened. “Please don’t apologize, especially when there is no need to. You are allowed to have your own thoughts and opinions, and to express them. Just like the guilt of others should not be shared, my happiness is not your obligation, nor should anyone’s be… even if your entire family thinks they are entitled to your comfort.”
She tugged her hand out of his grip. “What do you mean by that?”
“Only that you often forgo your own happiness because you are trying to protect everyone else’s. You can speak your mind, especially when it is important.”
A squeal stole his attention, but Grace didn’t regret it. The distraction gave her a moment to think.
When he looked back, he said, “Be brave, Miss Lenning. Say what you want to say.”
The comment disconcerted her, and she ducked her head as he helped her climb down. What did he mean by it?
There was no time to ask, however, with Mrs. Pickering coming out and the children making such a loud racket. Even when their visit finished, she still had no opportunity as Prudence filled the rest of their carriage ride with accounts of her interactions with the children then asked if they might take a tour of the countryside before returning to the house. Eventually, Grace gave up and enjoyed the ride, knowing that she’d have to wait until they were alone before they could have any real discussion.
Lady Hamdon met them at the stables when they returned. “I worried you had gotten stuck, or the curricle had overturned. Does it really take four hours to deliver one basket?”
Lord Gladsby began to explain, but Prudence didn’t let him get far, taking over the discussion as the four of them walked toward the house. Grace cast him a look of apology, but he seemed not to notice.
When they reached the vestibule, Lady Hamdon took hold of her arm. “Miss Lenning, I wonder if you might help me with something.”
Prudence perked up. “With what?”
Lady Hamdon shrugged. “A dinner menu.”
Grace smiled at Prudence’s scrunched nose, knowing her sister didn’t care for the normal day-to-day tasks. They had more than enough of those at home.
Pru looked up the stairs. “I hope you both enjoy yourself. I think I shall go visit Master George in the nursery.”
Lord Gladsby finally made eye contact with Grace; his eyebrows raised as if to acknowledge her earlier statement about Pru’s affinity for children. She grinned back at him, a sort ofI told you so. He smiled and nodded, before making his way to the upper level as well, probably to hide away in his study like he had many times before. She was starting to see the place as his own personal cave where he went to get away from people.
What would it be like to have so much freedom?
“Now that Miss Prudence is gone, I thought you might give me some ideas on how we could make her feel special tomorrow. I gathered from your sister-in-law that birthdays are important in your family, as they are in mine, even though I know not every family focuses so much on the day of one’s birth.”
It pleased Grace that Lady Hamdon remembered Prudence’s birthday. They shared what each of their families did tocelebrate and even visited the kitchen to go over all of Prudence’s favorite dishes with the housekeeper.
An hour later, the planning drew to a close. Lady Hamdon led Grace up from the kitchens to a pretty sitting room with pink and blue accents.
“Can I ask you a question that might sound impertinent, Miss Lenning?” Lady Hamdon sat on the sofa next to Grace.
“I… I suppose so.”
“You seemed to be deep in conversation with my brother the other night in the study. By chance, did he tell you about why he gets so jittery every now and then?”
Grace pursed her lips. “No, only that he lost a friend at war and that he and your father had not been on good terms when he left.”
Lady Hamdon gave a sharp nod. “I see.”
“Why do you ask?”
A sigh escaped Lady Hamdon and her shoulders slumped. “I had hoped that he would open up to someone. You see, my brother has a tendency to push people away because of some ridiculous notion of duty. He thinks he is protecting everyone around him with his silence, but what he doesn’t see is the burden he lays at our door. It’s hard to see him struggle and yet not have any way to help because he refuses to speak of it.”
Grace had no answers. She, too, had noticed the distance he placed between them when he became nervous, but she’d never had the courage to ask about it. Was that what he’d meant about being brave? She shook her head.
The rustling of Lady Hamdon’s cream-colored gown drew her attention. Her Ladyship’s gaze was unfocused, probably as deep in thought as she had been.
Grace took a chance and gently lay a hand on Lady Hamdon’s sleeve. “I’m sorry I have no more answers for you. I understandhow difficult it is to have one’s help rejected. Please know that if I had any ideas, I’d be happy to share them.”
“You are a dear.” Her Ladyship gave Grace’s hand a pat. “I suppose we both will have to continue on wondering until he is ready to speak. Now, has he ever told you about his time in France or what happened while he was away?”
