“My, but you are impatient today,” he cooed to the stallion when he reached him. With two hands, he extended the bucket. Apollo shoved his nose in so hard Alan almost dropped it, even with his tight hold. “Easy boy. It won’t do you any good if you knock it away.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Alan stumbled back at the sound of another man’s voice, the bucket thudding to the floor and rolling away as he reached for his knife.
“Easy, Gladsby.”
Hamdon’s voice finally registered in his mind as his smiling face came into view from the back stall.
“Blast it, man. What are you doing here?” Alan pushed the hilt of his knife back into the waistband of his trousers.
“Same as you. Spending a little time with my horse before dinner.” Hamdon leaned on his cane as he pulled the door shut on Mariner. The tall chestnut thoroughbred draped his neck over the wooden barricade to stare at Alan.
Both horse and master seemed to assess him, as if worried he’d lost his senses. An uncomfortable awareness settled over him at his reaction. Maybe hewaslosing his mind.
Several seconds passed before his brother-in-law made his way toward him. “You have been rather elusive today. Did you have some business to attend to?”
“No… I mean, yes. Estate accounts and such.”
Hamdon nodded as he came to a stop a few feet away. “Did you find a problem in your books?”
Alan squinted at him. Why would he think there was a problem? “No, everything was in order.”
Apollo snorted and stomped his foot as he reached over the door and nipped at Alan’s sleeve. He pushed the horse’s nose away, knowing the animal would persist until he gathered his wits enough to retrieve the bucket.
Hamdon placed both hands on the top of his cane and leaned forward, his gaze trailing to the floor where he kicked a bit of straw. Then he speared him with a look. “Gladsby, I’ve not forgotten how jumpy you were when you returned from the continent. It caused both your sister and I greatconcern. Especially after two or three days following one of your nighttime screams.”
“Screams?” Alan stepped out of his stallion’s reach. “I don’t scream.” He ran a hand down his face, not even convinced of his own answer. “Do I?”
“Not lately. But in those first months, Emma was quite concerned.”
“Why did no one bring this to my attention?” Alan paced back and forth. “Could you really hear me on the other side of the court?”
Taking a deep breath, Hamdon said, “I could, but not well. And, of course, I left to prepare for the wedding shortly after you arrived. Emma heard you best since her room was just down the hall from yours.”
Alan’s feet came to an abrupt halt. “What exactly did she hear?”
Hamdon avoided his gaze. “I think this is a conversation best had with your sister. Suffice it to say, your irritableness always increased after those instances. You were jumpy, just as you are now. Is it safe to assume you suffered one of the same occurrences last night?”
All these years, he’d thought he’d been saving others from the reality of his broken mind and they’d known all along. He ran a hand through his hair, grasping a handful of golden curls as he stared at the ground. What must they think of him?
Hamdon cleared his throat. “I’ll not force a confession out of you. I only wish to help, if that is possible.”
A cynical laugh escaped him. “Help? I’m a grown man, Hamdon. Don’t you think if there was anything to rid myself of the nightmares, I would have found it by now?”
His brother-in-law straightened to his full height, the extra few inches making Alan feel small. “I don’t pretend to know all the answers, but I know many hands make lighter work.”
Alan crossed his arms and squinted at him. “What is that even supposed to mean?”
“That hiding away won’t solve your problems. Two heads are always better than one. Perhaps Emma and I might help. Others often have insight that you or I may never have thought of before.”
Dropping his arms to his side, Alan stomped over and retrieved the wooden bucket, slapping the straw off its sides with vigor. “I won’t subject any lady to the atrocities I’ve seen, Hamdon.”
“Why? Because you think they cannot handle the facts of life?”
“Yes. They need not know how terrible one man can be to another, nor know of the blood and carnage.” Alan refilled the bucket and brought it back to Apollo.
Hamdon remained silent as the horse munched happily on the grain. After several minutes, Alan lifted his head to look at him. Hamdon shifted to take weight off his bad leg and lean against a nearby barrel.
