The days after our interaction at Lulu’s are awkward. I think we both silently agreed to never bring it up.
I’m not sure if it’s a result of what I said, or if she was starting to anyway, but part of me really thinks that Amara has started to open up more.
Originally, it was a few more smiles than she had previously graced me with. The next day, she’d touch me softly as she walked by, instead of taking the longest route available to stay away from me.
On the third night, she asked to have a movie night in the family room, and I nearly choked.
A movie night with Amara.
In my family room.
When we were kids, Amara and I used to have a lot of movie nights. They were always at my house, because although her parents loved me, they were a little bit stricter about what their only daughter was doing than my grandpa, who went to bed promptly at seven pm with only a hope and a prayer that we were all behaving. He trusted us—sometimes a little too much—but no amount of worry was going to get between him and his beauty sleep.
And Amara’s parents trusted that she’d be having a sleepover with Natalia.
If we stepped out of line, we’d be hearing about it in the form of punishment the next day. That was, more or less, the only thing we needed in order not to do anything too stupid other than sneaking out. But as long as I was at home by the ass crack of dawn when he woke up, he was generally none the wiser… most of the time.
We started off huddled under blankets on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, but as we got older, Natalia decided she liked sneaking out a little more than movie nights.
So, it was up to Amara and me.
One day, Amara and I started movie night early. The sun was still up, shining through my grandfather’s window. Between the sun and the ocean, we could barely see the TV, even with the blinds pulled shut.
Amara had the brilliant idea of building a fort with a few thick blankets to block the light.
It was easy. Old people hang so much on their walls, and considering everything was built fifty thousand times better back then, hanging sheets on floor lamps without them tipping over was a breeze.
It became a staple of movie nights. It felt cozier, and whether we’d admit it to each other or not, more intimate. Just our little space.
We never cuddled, really. No lines were crossed, and for the most part, it was always really innocent.
But looking back, I think the times when she would start falling asleep, her head landing on my shoulder, felt a lot bigger than they were.
I think that’s the fun, yet heartbreaking thing about nostalgia. At some point, you realize that none of the things you thought were the end of the world, or even the things you thought couldn’t get any better, were only the tip of the iceberg. You sit in your current life, wishing that you spentmore time savoring those moments, because at some point time runs out, and you’ll never feel them again.
It's easier to avoid it all to start with. Be someone else.
The second Amara said the wordsmovie night,I was on the phone with Briar trying to figure out logistics. I knew she could keep a secret. My place is still fairly empty, and I wanted to pull off a little surprise.
Her solution was for her to reach out to Heidi and acquire some of her photography equipment, namely a backdrop stand and clamps. “She’s been building out her new studio, but I think Emmett bought her five of everything she needs,” she had assured me.
Briar then got Leo to drop it off not long after, just in case Amara came out of her room and saw someone here.
He had pouted when I told him he couldn’t watch us. Not that there’d be anything to watch. He had rolled his eyes and suggested that, based on how the other night at the bar had gone, he was just waiting for me to have some news.
I just smiled. The only way the boys would ever know something happened, if it ever did, is if Amara told the girls and it got back to them.
I’m not a total idiot.
I drove outside the city to shop for some more blankets right after, coming home with three huge bags of them. She could keep them after all of this is over, if she wanted.
Amara had come out for a drink around four, confirming that we were getting Chinese food for dinner at 6 to start the night.
And I got to work.
First, I raised one of the backdrop holders to its highest position, placing it behind the couch. I did the same for the second, placing it between the couch and the TV, which hung from the large circular post in front of the windows. Then, I hung large sheets from them, making sure they’re secured tightly behind the TV so they don’t droop, before hanging the blankets.
Next, I grab the fluffiest, thickest blankets and scatter them on the floor.
