Rejuvenating.
“I had a lot of regrets around that time,” I say finally. Her deep, golden-brown eyes meet mine, warming me up. “I had a lot of guilt.A lot.I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thinking clearly. And I hurt you. I think I hurt a lot of people,” a dark chuckle escapes my lips, “even if they won’t admit it.”
Amara studies me for a few minutes, her eyes scanning every inch of me. I feel it in my cells.
“One day, will you tell me everything?”
I nod shallowly.
Getting up, Amara picks her plate up from the bed, her half-eaten sandwich still on it. “Thank you for this,” she says softly. “Next time you want to talk to me, just knock on the door, alright?”
I nod, and she turns on her heels and returns to her room, Fluffernutter hot on her heels.
CHAPTER 22
AMARA
“I’m pretty sure they scheduled this the first week of practice to piss Coach off,” Cooper mutters as he holds up his production-approved outfit in the mirror.
His hair is getting scruffy, and I try to shake off the swirl of heat deep in my belly for the millionth time.
“I know you’re tired. Did Eddy tell you how long we have to stay?”
He winces. “First, he did pull me aside to ask if I could get you to stop calling him that.”
I roll my eyes.
“Second, we have to stay thewhole time.Something aboutspending too much money on usand usnot delivering.”
I cross my arms. “If I didn’t know that it would end up with us being set up and looking horrible, I’d tell him that maybe if he produced better, we’d do something.”
Cooper looks at me dead in the eyes. “I think they’d roll my grandpa’s casket in here.”
“Cooper!”
He shrugs.
“It’s true. He’dhatethat.”
It’s been a few weeks since the fluffernutter incident, and while not a ton has changed around here,everythinghas.
We’ve fallen into a cozy silence with one another. An understanding that while we may not like where we’re at right now, we can at least tolerate each other.
The closest we’ve come to another fight has been Cooper getting me up at the ass crack of dawn the other day to go for arunon Federal Hill. It was filmed. Apparently, it was Eddy’s idea.
Fuck that guy.
Small things have been done around the house. A new rug in the family room that Cooper originally said looked like it was dipped in vomit, but eventually came around to and said he loved, new pillows, and some thrifted modern art on the walls, thanks to some help from Isla.
But I think the most that has changed is me. While I still hold my grudges, and there’s a lot inside of me that still needs to be pieced back together, I’ve worked past at least some of it.
Over time, I felt like I was protected by these hard, thick outlines. It made it easier not to color outside of them. Don't get too messy. Don't get too uncomfortable.
But it feels like they’re softening. Letting more color in. And while that may be good, it’s also scary.
For the last week, Cooper has been testing our boundaries little by little. I feel like he doesn’t think I’ve noticed, but I definitely have.
His choice of joke would have bothered me more if it weren’t the same dark humor that made me fall for him as a kid. Something I haven’t heard out of him in a long time.
