“It was just really special, you know? He lov?—”
I hold up my hand.
“I need you to stop.” We’ve had such a good day, to our standards. I’m not sure why he thought that he should come in here and completely ruin it.
Cooper looks confused. “It was just?—”
“Cooper, did you ever consider that I loved your family as much as I loved mine?”
He’s quiet as my heart hammers in my chest.
“Because I never got to say goodbye.”
I don’t wait for him to say anything. Something within me snaps, and a whole well of feelings I haven’t even let myself feel flies up to the surface. He doesn’t deserve my time. He doesn’t deserve to see me cry.
Instead, I turn around and retreat to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I’ve always been close with my family. I love my mom and dad so much that it hurts. But Cooper’s family was special to me. Especially Grandpa Kenny.
Why would he bring him up, knowing he didn’t even tell me he passed away? That when he stopped responding to me, I felt like I had lost everyone. Natalia and I were growing distant with time.
But that felt different. Cooper and I had something extra. Something that felt really important. Like he was the string connecting me to everything back home.
The heartbreak burns my eyes, and I bury my face in Fluffernutter’s fur.
CHAPTER 18
COOPER
Iwatch her as she goes. Her curls bouncing behind her with each step. Fluffernutter is hot on her heels, ready to get away from me.
I can’t fix the past, no matter how much I want to.
Grabbing a drink, I head to my room, closing the door quietly behind me.
And I call Natalia.
“No, Cooper. I’m not picking up your clothes from the dry cleaner again. I’m halfway home.”
“That was literally one time,” I groan, throwing myself back onto my bed.
“One time too many.” She pauses. “What’s up?”
“She hates me.”
“I don’t thin?—”
“Even when she’s being nice to me, I can feel it. She’d rather be doing literally anything else. She really, really hates me.”
I can hear my sister sigh as she turns her turn signal. “Coop. You were going through a lot. I know that.”
“Yeah but?—”
“But she doesn’t. You didn’t mean it. Butthat doesn’t negate the feelings she has about feeling abandoned, either. I feel guilty, too. I had so much going on with Grandpa that I didn’t keep in contact the way I should have. But you had all of that, and getting through school, college, football, all of it.”
I stay quiet, my right arm flung out to the side. I grip the blanket, running my thumbs over it.
“I just wish we weren’t in this position,” I admit with defeat.
