I’ve missed so much, and I, as much as I hurt for myself, just hope that Cooper and Natalia are okay.
It’s also the first time I’ve heard of Cooper going to Notre Dame for football. I just hope that Grandpa Kenny was able to watch him for at least a little bit.
My fingers work before I can stop myself, and I click on her name.
Natalia picks up on the second ring, her voice tired.
“Hey,” she says.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her, unable to hold back my sobs.
Her voice breaks as she comes apart, too.
“He told you?”
I’m confused. “Who?”
“Cooper.”
“Cooper hasn’t talked to me in years,” I confess, and Natalia sucks in a breath, but I find it hard to believe she’s that surprised.
“Oh.”
“I saw it on social media,” I add quietly, a pang of anger hitting me again.
Natalia clears her throat awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Amara. I wish it were different.
I do too.
CHAPTER 43
COOPER
Ever since we got home from Rehoboth, Amara has retreated a little, and I’m not sure why.
While before we left, she slept in my bed every single night, she’s spent a few nights in her room. She said she hasn’t been feeling well.
Fluffernutter sits on the back of the couch, watching me as I clean up the kitchen from meal prepping.
The show is coming to an end soon. We’re going to be forced to either sign real marriage papers or go our separate ways. And while I’d like to think that I know which way this was going, the truth is I don’t.
Amara had no idea what I was thinking when I stopped speaking to her. Stopped responding to her. She thought she meant nothing when she really meant the world.
What if all of this boils down to nothing, and we lose each other again? What if she moves away? Or what if I get traded one day when my new contract is up?
Would she ever come with me?
It’s a lot to think about and consider, and I’m terrified that someone asked her about it and she’s decided it’s not worth it.
That she’s putting distance between us to let me down easy.
I was telling the truth months ago when I said I would accept her in any capacity she would give me. If she decides she wants to walk away, I’ll accept it.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be happy about it. It doesn’t mean it won't break my heart.
The team has been doing really well this season, and we have an honest chance at the Super Bowl. Coach, clearly having no faith in my ability to hold a relationship, has been growing more and more concerned as the show draws to a close. While before, he wouldn’t even acknowledge it, even if cameras were in his face, he’s brought it up to me on more than one occasion in the last week, asking when the last day is and what I think is going to happen.
I watch the rain come down on the inner harbor, the boats across the way rocking.
