“Pull forward a little more,” Grandpa mutters as we pull into the garage. I do, watching as the tennis ball hits the window.
He gets his seatbelt unbuckled and starts to turn for the door, but my sister jumps out of the car. “I got you, Grandpa.”
He grunts but allows her to help him out of his transfer chair.
I watch her do it, feeling more and more hopeless.
Grandpa has wanted to see me play football in college for years. He’s planned for it. Made sure that I’d get there.
We’ve been checking out colleges foryears,and then two years ago, he decided he really wanted to see me go to Notre Dame.
I’ve been working harder than I ever have in my life to make sure I’m ready. Practicing anything I can every single day, whether it’s footwork or just working out to make sure I’m in shape for the season.
I’m going into senior year, my grades are finally good, and there’s nothing I need more than to turn the heads of some scouts. It’s going to take a lot to get their attention, coming from such a tiny school.
I have so much to prove, and I just desperately want to give Grandpa what he’s been wanting so bad.
I meet Natalia’s eyes, watching as she blinks slowly, the dark circles under them only getting darker by the day.
Whenever I tell her I can stop and spend more time at home, she yells at me. “You’ve been working so hard, and he wants this for you. Stop offering to help when I keep telling you I’ve got it.”
But what kind of brother am I to let her take on all of this?
I close my eyes, a pressure forming deep in my chest with nowhere to go.
We get Grandpa into the house, and I pick him up, transferring him into his giant, comfortable chair he loves so much.
“What channel do you want today?” I ask him, flipping through the TV guide.
He sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe some music?”
I select the first one I can find before placing the remote on the side table. Sitting in the chair next to him, I scroll on my phone.
“Have you heard from the colleges yet?” he asks suddenly.
I smile sadly. “No, I’m applying this year, remember?”
He stares at me blankly. “Oh.”
“But I’m applying to Notre Dame. Hopefully, they want a kid like me.”
“Why wouldn’t they want you?” He seems almost upset.
I shrug. “I don’t know.” He frowns more, and I think of how to fix this. “I’m definitely going to get it. I can’t wait to see you on that sideline surrounded by cheerleaders.” I wink at him.
Our days always go like this. But I’d gladly answer all thequestions in the world if it means that he’s here with us. That we get more weeks with him.
Even the scary days are worth it.
I haven’t had the time to think about much of anything else. There are letters upstairs, unread, and it pains me not to respond to them.
I hope I can soon. And I hope she knows that I want to get back to her. I just... can’t. Not right now. Not like this. I can’t even meet my own basic needs most days.
Grandpa closes his eyes, his head resting on the chair, a thin smile on his ageing lips.
It’s hard not to cry on days liketoday.
“I love you, you know that, right?” I say.
