'Look at you,' he whispered. ‘So perfect like this.'
I blinked up at him, messy and flushed.
He lifted his soaked fingers, watching the way they glistened in the firelight. With a smile, he touched them to my lips, his eyes expectant.
My stomach flipped, and I considered refusing, the expectation making my need for control rear up. Yet, a dirty little part of me wanted to please him like that. To have him know the dark little thoughts that had plagued me half of my life.
And though I should have refused, I didn’t.
I opened my mouth and let him drag the wet pad of his finger over my tongue.
His breath caught, his lip catching his lower lip.
‘You're going to ruin me,' he murmured.
When he removed his fingers, after I’d slowly tongue-bathed them, I closed my eyes and relaxed back against the mess. ‘I’m very much hoping you’ll ruin me, Henry.’
seventeen
AMANDA
I might well have hadthe best sleep I’d had in years after Henry’s finger-fest on the dining table. I’d offered to take care of his rather generously erect self when he’d escorted me up the stairs, but he’d declined, telling me it was late and he could wait until we were both a bit brighter-eyed.
We’d lain in bed, me on one side of the wall, and him on the other, texting until I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face and satisfaction still roiling through my body.
The manor felt unusually peaceful the morning after the Christmas fair. I’d been awake since half past six, unable to rest with so many thoughts racing in my head.
I told myself I was going outside to check the final preparations for Christmas Day.
But it was a lie, of course. I wanted to see him.
I found him beside the stable, breath fogging in the cold air while he brushed hay from Merv’s coat. His hair poked out frombeneath a woollen hat in ridicuously adorable curls, and his cheeks shone pink from the cold.
Merv saw me first, lifting his head and braying. His ears perked up as he trotted straight over, nudging my side like a giant puppy.
‘He likes you,’ Henry said with a laugh.
‘I hope that’s because you’ve been putting a good word in for me,’ I said, petting Merv’s forehead as he nudged me harder. ‘But it might be because I have a clementine in my pocket.’
‘He’s selective, so you should be flattered.’
I laughed, and Henry’s eyes flicked to me, a delighted grin covering his face.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘I’ve been waiting to see you smile for real. It’s as beautiful as I pictured.’
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and flushed.
Henry held out a soft-bristled brush. ‘Want to help?’
‘He doesn’t kick, does he?’
‘Not if you’re nice to him. I can’t guarantee he won’t pinch your orange, though.’
Merv nudged my pockets the moment I stepped into the stable. I handed the orange to Henry, who swapped it for a soft-bristled brush.
Our shoulders brushed against each other now and then as we worked, him feeding the donkey and fussing over him, me brushing his soft coat. It was quiet. The kind of quiet that felt comfortable rather than awkward. I ran the brush down Merv’s side, watching dust and stray hay fall away.
