“It is, but I had nowhere else to be.” She shrugs nonchalantly.
“I thought your family hosts a Fourth of July party or something.” I switch feet, grabbing and massaging the other. She moves her bangs out of the way, but they return to theirstubborn spot. It’s a habit she has that I love. The hair won’t stay off her face, but she does it anyway.
She closes her eyes and smacks her tongue. “Yeah, well, I’ve participated in those for almost thirty-seven years, but I’ve never spent a holiday weekend with the father of my child, so coming seemed like a good idea.” I kiss her foot, and she startles. “Ew, don’t do that.”
My laugh bounces off the walls and fills the space. “Not a foot person?”
“No, and I didn’t think you were either.”
I shake my head. “I’m ayouperson.”
I smile, taking it all in: her in here in my space, in my house, in my quiet room. Suddenly, the entire place is filled with color and meaning. All because she’s here. She’s my whole world, how have I not seen this before?
“How long are you here for?” I ask—the question I really want to know the answer to. I want to know if I should cancel the dinner tonight and get lost in her for hours.
I need to know if I need to call work and tell them nobody better need me for the next forty-eight hours.
I want to know.
Ineedto know.
She rises to her elbows and loses the playfulness she’s been sporting since she got here. “A month—if you’ll have me.”
“Don’t play with my feelings, because you know if it were up to me, I’d want you here forever.” I mean every word.
She waves. “Forever sounds good.”
What does she mean by that? “What?” I’m destined to be confused by this woman forever, I guess.
“Living with you forever and not doing this once a year bullshit we thought was a good idea sounds better than anything, to be honest.” She pauses, and I hope she’s not lying. I really hope she means it.
I’ll put a ring on her finger right now if that’s true.
“You said you were afraid of asking me to move here, so you don’t have to. I’m here if you want me . . . but I figured a month would be a good time for us to figure our shit out.” She lays her head back down and closes her pretty eyes, her eyelashes kissing her cheeks. “I also think your son would love to kick his daddy too, not just me.”
My son?
She’s having a boy?
We’re having a boy?
What is happening?
“We’re having a boy?” I ask, my voice breaking.
She nods, and all the air leaves my body. I can’t find words to convey what I’m feeling right now, so I don’t say anything. I just sit and look at her.
She’s so beautiful. She always has been, but her carrying my child has to be the best view. Not clear, pristine waters or the highest peaks, not moss covered trees or the dramatic coastlines I see every day. Not salmon in streams or majestic bears. Not glaciers or midnight sun. None of them compare to her flawless beauty.
“Let me see,” I whisper.
Gray eyes meet mine, and with a wicked smile, she lifts her white shirt, revealing the most perfect bump I’ve ever seen. She shows me when we video chat and I’ve seen pictures, but nothing compares to seeing it right now. She’s so beautiful. So perfect. And she’s here.
“Permission to touch,” I whisper, echoing the words she said all those years ago when I was afraid of her touch, when I didn’t know someone else touching you could be because they wanted to make you feel good, not because they wanted to harm or use you. Back when I didn’t know life could have this precious meaning.
She nods, and I slide my hands up her leggings, lowering the band over her belly, finally seeing it all in its glory. Round, with a dark line in the middle leading to my favorite place on Earth.
Perfect, just like all of her.
