I would give River some space for the rest of the day, but we needed to have a conversation about where things were going.
Coyeand I had our first fight, and it bothered me all night. I wanted to call him, but I refrained. Maybe some time apart would do us some good. I had too much other stuff going on to worry about a relationship. I didn’t like the way my father looked the last time I saw him, and after what the nurse said, I knew he wouldn’t be around much longer.
Half the night, I cried and wished Coye was there to hold me, but I was too stubborn to admit that out loud.
“Are you going to tell us why you are sitting over there with your head down like we aren’t here?” Lily’s voice made me raise my head.
She, Sophie, and my mom had come over to help cheer me up. I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell them about the fight with Coye.
My mom had placed a cup of tea in front of me, and the three of them had one as well. I smiled as I thought about Coye telling me how he and his mother had teatime sometimes. It was so cute to me.
“I guess a smile is a good thing,” Sophie said.
I took a sip of the tea and let the warmth soothe my throat. I think I cried so much that it caused my throat to be a little sore.
“Not really. Everything is going wrong, and I don’t know what to do about it,” I told them.
“We can only work on one thing at a time. I know a lot of it has to do with your father, and unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. It’s all in God’s hands. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but you know I will always be honest with you. Your father has lived a great life. I hate it, too, because even though we aren’t together anymore, I’ve known him for half my life. He’s still one of my closest friends, and he gave me you and your brother.” A tear slid down her cheek. “What else is going on?”
“Coye is what’s going on.” The three of them looked at me, on the edge of their seats. “He wants to tell Jordan about us, and I told him it was a bad idea.”
“And what was his response?” Lily asked.
I took another few sips of my tea.
“You mean after I accused him of not caring about me?” I covered my face with my hand as one of them groaned, and another sharply inhaled.
“River, you didn’t.” My mother looked at me like I was crazy.
“I did, but in my defense, I was mad. We had just left Daddy’s, and my emotions were out of whack.”
I knew my actions were wrong, and I had no business accusing Coye of not caring about me, because he’d shown mehow much he really did care. I just didn’t know how to control my mouth or my feelings sometimes.
“Girl, that is no reason to say some crazy shit like that to him,” Sophie added. “Sorry, Momma, but your daughter is tripping.”
“She sure is. You and the rest of us know how much he cares about you. I’m surprised your brother never noticed, if I’m being real,” my mother said. “I’m sure he’s trying to let Jordan know before he finds out another way, and I don’t blame him.”
“That’s what he said,” I told her.
I understood why he wanted to tell, but I didn’t feel like it was the right time. I wasn’t sure when the right time would be, though.
“Listen. Do you want to be with Coye?” my mother asked.
I had to think about it for a second. Things between Coye and me had been going really well, and he made me happy. My thoughts were consumed with him, and I thought I wanted to be with him, but sometimes, I just wasn’t sure. It wasn’t anything he’d done; I just didn’t want to ruin things.
“I think so. What if it messes up his friendship with Jordan?”
My mom put her hand over mine. “Your brother will get over it. There is no reason why he wouldn’t trust you with Coye. I think he will only be mad because of you two hiding it from him.”
Maybe she was right, but I needed time to think about it. Coye and I needed to talk, so I grabbed my phone from the counter.
Me:
Can we talk later?
Coye:
Yeah. Just let me know when, and I’ll come to you.
