“All the time.” Lydia’s voice lowered, but there was no timidity in it. It was more like reverence. “It feels like she’s still here. I can’t explain it, but it feels like she walks beside me, just like when we were children. As though our shoulders might bump, but she’s never really there.”
“I never imagined it was still so hard for you, that your grief was still so strong.”
“I saw her nearly every day since I was five. We knew everything about each other. She knew me better than even my sister did.”
“I miss her, too,” Keith whispered. “I did while I was away. And now, not only do I live with missing her, I live with regret that I ever left her here alone with him.”
Keith watched as something flickered across Lydia’s face before she recovered. It was as though she thought of someone, then realized Keith meant his father. It reminded him of what he’d overheard the day of Kelsey’s funeral.
“I should go. Rajesh will wonder what’s keeping us. Ben and Jemma are—occupied.” Lydia pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. She knew virgins like her weren’t supposed to know what passed between a married couple, but she’d visited India many times during her childhood. It was a long voyage, but her mother and father insisted they raise their children with their Indian heritage valued as much as their English. They stayed with her grandmother, Chandra, but spent much of their time with Rajesh and Jemma’s families, since their mothers were the daughters of Maharaja Surat Singh.
The maharaja’s daughters were princesses, making Lydia and Jemma princesses as well. Jemma’s father, Theo, held the same rank as her own father, Will. Both men were baronets who had married far above their station. Rajesh inherited his earldom from his older brother, who’d inherited it from their father.
Keith stepped closer. “What do you know about that?” His voice wrapped around her like honey.
“Enough. India isn’t as prudish and hypocritical as England.”
Keith nudged her chin up with his forefinger, and his thumb swept her jaw. “I told the truth earlier. I don’t take advantage of women. I will never take what isn’t offered. So, I will ask you, Lydia. May I kiss you?” He held his breath, praying he hadn’t misread her interest.
“And if I allow it, what will you expect next?” Lydia tried to keep the breathlessness from her voice, but he overwhelmed her senses. The feel of his hand on her face and the heat from his body. The scent of his bergamot soap filled her nostrils. His silky voice made her insides quiver. His handsome visage was all she saw. The only thing missing was discovering his taste.
“I told you before. I expect nothing.”
Lydia considered his answer almost too long. When she saw him withdraw, rejection in his eyes, she placed her hands on his chest. The shirt he wore did little to buffer the heat. It didn’t surprise her to find him without a coat or waistcoat, since he rarely wore them at home. She knew from seeing him in the gardens and on the beach. But she hadn’t expected him to veritably scorch her palms and fingers. His muscles were taut and harder than she’d imagined. It was like resting her hand on a brick wall. She titled her chin up further and parted her lips.
Keith watched as she decided. He absorbed every moment of how she looked up at him, her expression open and curious. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He’d longed for her from a distance since he returned home. He’d thought of her often during the years after his sister’s death and while he sailed. Fantasized would be more accurate. He’d closed his eyes with more than one woman and pictured Lydia in her stead. Now she would permit him to kiss her. He intended to make it one she wouldn’t soon forget.
He lowered his mouth to hers, brushing his lips across hers twice before bringing them together. She opened to him without hesitation, which made him wonder who else she’d kissed. But her inexperience soon became clear. Her hands fisted his shirt as though she needed to hold on to keep from floating away. She sucked in a breath as his tongue entered her mouth. It drew him in and made him think of what else she might do with her mouth, but he knew it was from surprise and not a hint. She stood still for several heartbeats before she pressed back against his lips and tangled her tongue with his.
It took all the restraint he could muster not to wrap her legs around his waist and press her against the wall, not to rock her against his rod that pulsed beneath his breeches, unhappy with the constraint. He settled for wrapping his arm around her waist while his other hand cupped her jaw. He hungered for far more now he’d had a taste, but despite spending more than half a decade as a legal pirate, he always kept his word. Usually, it was a promise of retribution, but he wouldn’t take advantage of Lydia or deceive his friend.
Lydia’s imagination had failed. The kiss was better than anything she’d daydreamed. Even her dreams at night that centered on him and what they might do together were nothing compared to the consuming kiss they shared. She slid her arms around his neck and came onto her toes. When his arm tightened around her waist and the other slid up between her shoulder blades to cup her skull, she leaned into him. The lengths of their bodies pressed together, and both moaned at the feeling’s rightness.
“Lyddie.” It was Rajesh calling her. They pulled apart breathless, their gazes passion filled.
“I need to go.” Lydia didn’t move. She couldn’t. It was as though Keith’s embrace and how he looked at her ensnared her. She wanted to stay just as they were, or better yet, much, much closer.
“Lydia.” Rajesh’s voice was more strident and closer.
Keith released her but slid his hand into hers and brought it to his lips. His deep-blue eyes watched her at he bent his head. There was promise in them that made dew coat her inner thighs. She pressed them together, hoping to ease the ache, but it only made her more aware of her arousal. Keith was quick to open the door only moments before Rajesh appeared. His eyes narrowed as he looked between Keith and Lydia.
“Yes, Raj.” Lydia stepped around Keith and stood before her cousin. He was eight years her senior and had always seemed so worldly, even when they were children. Now he looked more like a disapproving father. He’d been raising his two nieces for the past couple of years, and he had his own child on the way. Lydia didn’t care for it in the least. She canted her head and shot him a challenging expression.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“Thank you, but I can go on my own.”
“No. Not with more of Windsor-Clive’s men still lurking.”
“He’s dead now, so he can’t bother me anymore. Without him paying, they won’t do anything.”
“Bother you.” Keith grasped Lydia’s upper arm and turned her toward him. His hold was gentle, so she didn’t fight him. “What do you mean anymore?”
Lydia gritted her teeth. She hadn’t thought before she spoke. “Zachary pursued Kelsey. They met when she went to London for her coming out. She wasn’t interested, but he persisted. Once she died, his attention turned to me. I believe his interest in us was because of our connections to smugglers. He called on me a few times and sent me letters. My father knows, and he kept Zachary away from me.”
She wouldn’t mention the times he tried to kiss and grope her, or how he’d pinned her against walls and tried to press his body against her. She’d kneed him once and called to anyone she thought might hear the other times. He intimidated her, but never forced her. She’d sensed he had a limit.
Keith glanced back at Rajesh, and something passed between the two men. Rajesh looked annoyed, but he said nothing. Keith turned his attention back to Lydia. “Did he do anything to you?”
