“Charlie,” they said together as they peeled off their outer layers.
“I love you, Ben. I’ve wanted today since I met you, but I never believed it would happen, despite all my dreams.”
“I love you, Jem. I will regret until my last breath that I was too weak to step forward and tell you the truth.” They’d touched on this several times, but they both knew it was time they finally said all they thought, so they could put it to rest.
“Please don’t say that. I never should have, and I’m sorry. I never thought you weak. I said that to hurt you the way I hurt. I’m not proud of it.”
“You didn’t lie. I could have been the man I thought myself to be and spoken to you. But as time passed, I felt like a cad and feared I would only make it worse. I had years that I could have made things right, but it felt too hard, so I didn’t.”
“It’s not as though I did much on my part.”
“It’s not the same, and we know it. A woman approaching a man is far harder than the other way around. I don’t blame you for not doing it.”
“That had nothing to do with it, Ben. I would have if I hadn’t feared you turning away from me again.”
Ben sighed, looking out over Jemma’s head before bringing his gaze to hers. “My father was only partly right. You were too young. But then, so was I. I wasn’t mature enough for a wife before now. I would have loved you and protected you, provided for you in all things, but I don’t know that I could fully appreciate you before now. I know my feelings have changed, my infatuation and lust developed into more quickly. But the way I love you today is not the same as it was when it started. I see us in a way I couldn’t back then. I only saw us through rose-colored lenses when I imagined a future.”
“I know. I thought myself surely in love soon after we met. But those feelings seem so childish compared to how they’vegrown. For all we avoided one another, we were never far from each other when you came to Lantic Bay. At first, you were a strikingly handsome young man with an easy smile and teasing eyes, and I longed for you to direct them at me. It took us years to become who we are now and years to appreciate each other. I might have been marriageable by everyone else’s standards, but I don’t know that I would have been a good wife to you. I don’t know that I would have been as accepting of your travel and the danger. I understand now what’s at stake, and it makes me admire and respect you even more. We were children when we met, and we fell in love as children. But we are adults now, and I know we love as such.”
“Every day for the rest of my life.” Ben’s warm palm pressed against her cheek as she stretched to meet his kiss. “I love you, Wife.”
“I love you, Husband.”
Neither would grow tired of those words. Their kiss consumed them as their hands roved over each other’s body. Ben’s slid beneath Jemma’s hip-length tunic, easing upward until he cupped her breasts. They were perfection. They fit in his hands as though made for him. As he massaged, Jemma pulled his shirt from his waistband before her hands roamed over his heated skin. The muscles in his back bunched and released with each of his movements.
“Jemma, I want to make you my wife in truth. We’re truly alone here.”
“I want that, too. I don’t want everyone knowing what we’re about when we retire tonight. I don’t want anyone to hear us when we make love for the first time. I don’t want to share any of that with anyone else.” Jemma pulled herodhnifrom her shoulder and offered one end to Ben. She loosened and removed his cravat as he undid his cuffs. He pulled his tailcoat off, the tight sleeves annoying him while she unbuttoned his waistcoat.She began with the buttons at the bottom of his shirt as he worked down from the top.
“I never realized how fussy men’s clothing was. It’s worse than women’s. How long does it take to dress?” Jemma grinned as she pushed the shirt over Ben’s muscular shoulders. She nearly salivated as she feasted her eyes on his sun-kissed chest, a smatter of hair across the expanse, leading from his navel to below his waistband. His skin looked like polished bronze, making her forget about his shirt. Her hands explored the dips and ridges along his chest and abdomen as he dropped his shirt into his pile of discarded clothing.
“Too long. I’m glad not to wear this every day.” Ben dropped a kiss on Jemma’s lips before moving to the skin near her ear. A spot usually hidden by her hair, one that only he had the privilege of exploring. His hands grasped the hem of herkurta, the tunic she wore, and drew it over her head. She wore a short blouse beneath it, which only came to her midriff. He’d seen nothing like it before.
“It’s called acholi. In some parts of India, it’s worn beneath a sari, which is like myodhnibut far longer and wider. It wraps around a woman as a skirt, then drapes over her shoulder. My skirt is aghagra. I have longerkurta,” she pointed to her tunic that lay beside his clothes, “that I wear withchuridar, a type of trousers. They’re like the ones Raj is wearing but made for women.”
“I’ve never seen you in any of those.”
Jemma shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. “People would think it disgraceful for me to show so much skin or to wear trousers in public. I’m likely to get myself arrested. I only wear them when I’m on my family’s estate.”
Ben lifted thecholiover her head and kissed her shoulder. It was his turn to feast his eyes as he looked at her small,pert breasts. “Does that mean you won’t wear your clothes in Bedruthan?”
Jemma stilled. She understood she would follow Ben to his home, but they hadn’t discussed her moving since the last time they discussed where they’d spend next Christmas. She hadn’t considered her wardrobe, even though maids packed it for her.
“I don’t know.”
“Jem, I hope you do. There is space for us to live with my parents for now. But I’ll build you the cottage on our land as soon as the weather allows. When we are at home, I hope you’ll dress as you always have.”
“So, you can enjoy seeing me half dressed?” Jemma offered him a sassy mien.
“You won’t be half dressed by your customs, so I don’t think of it that way. But will I enjoy seeing more of you? Of course. You are stunning, Jem.” He bent and brought her breast to his mouth. As he alternated suckling each side, Jemma kicked off her slippers, then pushed down her skirts and stockings. She stood before her husband, naked, suddenly feeling vulnerable because he wasn’t completely bare. She reached for his breeches and unfastened the fall. She pushed the trousers over his trim hips, but they encountered a problem once they reached his knees.
“You seem to be caught with your trousers down, Husband.”
“So it seems. I have to sit down to take these blasted boots off.” Carefulness not to step on Jem’s precious clothes made him waddle a couple steps. Jemma’s giggles made him playfully scowl as he sat. She grasped one boot and tugged, then did the same for the other. He rolled down his stockings until all that remained were his smalls. He hesitated, once more unsure of his wife’s knowledge. Seeing pictures in a book was far different from being present with the real thing.
“I know we can’t make love with those in the way,” Jemma said, as though she read his mind. “I have four brothers, Ben. I know what lies—” Her cheeks flushed red. “—stands beneath them.”
“We’ll go slowly, sweetling.” Ben wished to offer her reassurance, but he saw a flash of disappointment. “Jemma?”
