“Leannan, give me five minutes to catch ma breath.” They laughed together as Thor’s hand once more cupped her backside.
“Can we skip the evening meal and hide in here?” Greer didn’t jest.
CHAPTER10
Thor and Greer laid together in silence, neither sleeping because neither wanted to miss a moment of bliss. They’d spent hours gazing up at the clouds as they got to know each other. Losing that was one of the most painful parts of her separation from Thor and her basic captivity in her own home. Edgar allowed her to come and go from her chamber when no one demanded she be available to them. She’d even left the keep once a month to meet Rose. But she had little freedom in reality. Other people’s wants and demands dictated days at a time.
While she recovered at Dunbeath, she’d been bedridden for several days, but she felt free. At Ackergill, roaming around the keep and bailey as she wished had done much to heal her wounded soul. But lying in the safe harbor of Thor’s arms felt like he’d brought her back from the dead. Life finally had color again. It had purpose rather than a mere existence. She would allow nothing to ruin it. Not the Gunn clan council. Not some foreign Englishman. Not her own fears. As she cuddled closer to her husband’s side, she tried to imagine what it would be like if it were another man she could have freely chosen who laid next to her.
Greer had met Thor’s cousins, Wiley, Tate, Blake, and Tor. She’d met their friend Kirk Hartley. They were all handsome men who caught any woman’s eye. She’d ridden to Dunbeath with Tate because she and Thor couldn’t be near each other without arguing. She imagined getting to know them and perhaps growing smitten with them. Then she tried to picture herself in bed with any of them. Her stomach caved, and her heart raced. Her fingers curled to cling to Thor’s leine.
“Greer?”
“Aye. I’m all right.” She relaxed at the sound of Thor’s voice and the reminder that he shared the bed with her, not someone else.
“Ye tensed and grabbed ma leine. Ye arenae all right.”
“I dinna want to say what I was thinking because it willna sound good. I dinna want to anger ye or hurt ye.” Greer slid her hand from over his heart to around his waist, holding on to him as though he might try to leave. Thor stroked her hair.
“Wee one, yer thoughts are yer own. I wish ye’d share them with me, but I willna force ye. I’m curious, and I want to help if I can.”
Greer couldn’t look at him as she spoke. He’d been so open and accepting of her that day. She didn’t want him to think she was growing closed off again. And while the first half wouldn’t sound very good, she wanted him to know how special he was to her.
“I wondered if feeling this at peace was because I’m with ye or because I am nae in that chamber at Gunn Castle.” She refused to say her chamber. “I tried to picture being here with another mon and whether I would feel the same. The moment I pictured one, I panicked. I dinna panic around ye.”
Thor’s morbid curiosity wanted to know who’d she’d pictured. Was it someone from her own clan, and that’s why she’d panicked? If she thought of someone else, would she react differently?
“Who was it?”
“I willna tell ye that. It’ll hurt ye and make ye angry.”
“One of ma cousins,” Thor deduced. “I ken it’s unusual for a family to have so many good-looking people. We’re blessed many times over. Ye also dinna ken that many people outside yer clan. Ye were around ma cousins most recently. It doesnae surprise me they came to mind. Ye rode to Dunbeath with Tate. Was it him?”
“Dinna ask. Naught good can come of me answering.”
“I’m nae jealous. Ye arenae out there trying to bed someone besides me. It isnae wrong to wonder if this is merely comfort from already kenning me, or if it’s something real.”
“Do ye think it’s just familiarity for ye?”
“I enjoy that it feels like I’ve finally come home. But I dinna want to spend ma life with ye just because I already ken how much I enjoyed bedding ye. I like the idea of discovering who we are together now that we’re eight years aulder and wiser.”
“I dinna have a way to explain why ye’re the only one in yer family that’s attractive to me when I can admit all the men are braw. I thought aboot lying beside another mon, and a few faces flashed through ma mind. I settled on Tor, and it felt wrong. It felt scary. It made me want to get back to being by yer side, even though I kenned I never left it.”
“Thor and Tor. Makes sense. We’re also the most alike in personality. It made us unholy terrors when we were weans.”
“Thormud and Torquil arenae that similar, but Thor and Tor must be quite confusing.”
“The hair helps.”
Greer looked up at Thor’s grinning face, and he tugged a lock of his strawberry-blond hair. The rest of the men in his family possessed heads of deep chestnut hair. She couldn’t help but return his infectious expression. She shifted and pushed upward on her elbow until she could kiss him.
“I willna picture anyone else. I dinna want ye to wonder if I am when we’re together like this.”
“Greer, I am nae worried. I told ye I understand.”
“Is that because ye’re picturing someone else?”
“Nae right now, but I admit I have. When I’ve laid in bed at Dunbeath, I’ve imagined a lass beside me. I’ve never brought one to ma chamber, and I willna until ye return with me. Our chambers are only for married couples. Single men dinna bring women there. The bed is a sacred place for a mon and his wife. I’ve pictured other lasses I ken who I could marry, but none felt right. Ma mind always came back to ye. I believed I would one day find someone I loved, and I would marry her. But every time I imagined falling asleep or waking up next to a woman, it was ye.”
