Maybe he did. His hand reached into space, as though he might catch Saoirse’s retreating one. She wrapped her fingers around his and squeezed.
“I’m here, Magnus.”
Despite the awkwardness, they moved him to Tavish’s sons’ chamber while Saoirse held his hand. They’d barely entered and hadn’t yet laid him on the bed when a line of servants rushed in with the tub. They brought buckets of water that they took to the fireplace.
“Dump it in. It doesnae need warming.” Saoirse’s voice held an air of command since she was in her element. “Elizabeth and Catriona, get a stack of fresh linens for the bed and for his bath. Kirsten, go to ma healing room and fetch ma bag. We need to get him undressed.”
“Nay. Ye arenae tending to him while he’s undressed.” Alex shook his head. His daughter, whose nose came to the center of his chest, came to stand in front of her mountainous father.
“Aye, I am. If he dies because ye canna get past him being five-and-thirty, I promise yer problems will be far greater than our ages. Either ye help, or ye move out of ma way, Da. He’s sick. Ye wouldnae stop me from tending anyone else this ill. Ye should be ashamed that ye’d deny him help.”
“I didna say nay one would tend to him. Siùsan can do it.”
“Nay, I canna,” Siùsan protested. “I dinna ken what’s wrong. He looks far worse than I ken how to heal. Why’s he sweating so much if he doesnae have a fever?”
“There’s something in him that his body is trying to expel, but it canna.” Saoirse spoke as she dumped a bucket of cool water into the tub. “Da, let Auntie Siùsan help me. Ye can go.”
Alex blinked as he stared at his daughter. Never had she dared to command him before. He was uncertain what to make of it. Part of him was proud of the command she held over the situation. Part of him wanted to spin her around and march her out of the chamber. Part of him was too dumbfounded to do anything. When his thoughts finally coalesced, he reached forward and unpinned the length of wool from Magnus’s shoulder and placed the brooch on the bedside table. He tugged Magnus’s arm, and Tavish did the same until they sat him up enough for Siùsan to lift the soaked leine from his body. Saoirse worked to get his boots and stockings off. In the meantime, the two maids returned with the linens Saoirse requested, and Brighde entered the chamber with Saoirse’s bag. She’d passed the other maid and offered to bring it up.
Saoirse had the sense to allow her aunt to unfasten Magnus’s belt and unwrap his plaid. She had a moment of disappointment that she wasn’t alone with him, and this wasn’t a romantic encounter. But his groan as he pitched sideways, vomiting on the floor, brought her back to her senses. She snatched her bag from her mother and rummaged in it as she continued to give orders.
“Get him in the tub, all the way under. His feet can stick out, but ye need to submerge his shoulders.” She watched from beneath her lashes, impressed with the physique on display as the men lifted Magnus from the bed. Muscles seemed to grow upon muscle as his body shifted with each movement. His torso was sun-kissed, but his waist down was a stark white in comparison. It wasn’t the first time she’d noticed such a contrast on a man, but it drew her eyes to his cock. She tried not to stare when she realized he was a well-endowed man. She’d seen a variety of men’s cocks during her years as a healer. None made her curious anymore, but Magnus’s made her wish for his speedy recovery, and not just for his sake.
As they lowered Magnus into the cool water, he groaned and winced. Saoirse pulled a sachet from the bag and moved toward the fire, grabbing a mug her mother brought. She scooped water from a bucket on the hearth and placed the mug on the stones. It wouldn’t take long for it to heat, even without being over the direct flames. She gathered other things from her bag as Magnus soaked.
“What was he doing in the lists? Anything unusual?” Saoirse looked at her father and uncles.
“Nay. He trained like usual and looked fine, except he started sweating and couldnae stop,” Callum explained. “I thought he looked peaky, so I sent him to his chamber. He must have decided he was poorly enough to seek yer help. I dinna think he wanted to at first.”
Saoirse glanced at Magnus, whose head hung back over the tub’s rim. Siùsan has placed a folder towel beneath it to pad the lip. “Did he eat aught while he was out there?”
“Nae aught anyone else didna eat,” Mòr explained. “I shared an apple with him, and I stood beside him when he grabbed the dried beef sticks Blake offered him. He drank from the same waterskin as Torquil. In fact, it was Torquil’s waterskin. I saw Torquil leave the lists after Óg. He didna look any worse for wear.” Mòr hovered over the younger man. He’d been concerned, but he had said nothing when he noticed Óg didn’t look well. Now he regretted not sending for Saoirse or telling Óg to see her.
Saoirse nodded as she watched Siùsan run a soapy linen square over Magnus’s body. A pang of possessiveness unlike anything she’d ever felt crashed over her. She had no reason to feel territorial when it was Magnus’s sister who tended him. But she wished it were her. Not just because she wished to explore his body, but because she wanted it to be her right. She waited as Siùsan washed his hair. Once he was clean, the men hoisted him from the tub. Siùsan and Brighde hurried to dry him while Saoirse prepared a tea.
“What did he eat to break his fast?” Saoirse had already been away from the keep. A pregnant woman’s husband was certain she was in labor and came, insisting Saoirse attend to her. The poor woman was flustered and embarrassed when Saoirse arrived. She’d tried to convince her husband that she wasn’t going to deliver yet. She pointed out that with five children already, her husband should have known it wasn’t time. Saoirse reassured the village woman that it was fine, and that she respected the man’s wish to care for his wife.
“Porridge, just like us.” Alex watched Saoirse’s every move. He knew she was a competent healer. He’d turned to her more than once over the years. But he saw her through new eyes as she moved around the chamber, setting up her supplies and monitoring Magnus.
Once they settled him on the bed with the covers drawn over him, she sat beside him to spoon tea into him. He grimaced several times, but he swallowed. His gray skin worried Saoirse. She couldn’t think of an easy diagnosis yet. She didn’t know enough to put all the puzzle pieces in place.
“There’s naught much to do right this minute. I need to finish getting this tincture in him, then I’ll observe. Da, will ye stay and help? This tea will force out whatever else is in his belly. He’s too heavy for me to move him to the chamber pot when he needs it.”
Alex nodded, surprised she asked for his help. He shot Brighde a glance, but she only shrugged. Saoirse asked for no one else to stay, so the rest of the family filed out. When Liam closed the door behind him, Saoirse turned toward Alex, who now stood by the window embrasure.
“Da, I dinna ken what’s wrong with him. I’m scared. He shouldnae be so pale without a fever. I didna lie aboot needing yer help when it’s time for him to use the chamber pot. But I really need ma da right now.” She stood, blinking back tears, before she rushed into Alex’s embrace. “What if I canna cure him?”
Alex held his daughter against his chest, unsure what to say. He didn’t want to give her false platitudes. As the healer, she best understood the risks. If she feared Magnus’s death, then the situation was grave.
“Ye’ll do the best ye can. He kens ye’re here, even if he hasnae woken. The way he calmed when ye held his hand makes it clear he trusts ye. Trust yerself. He said ye like healing partly because it’s a puzzle. Ye’re still sorting through the pieces right now. Ye’ll put him back together soon enough.”
“Da, what am I supposed to do if I lose him?”
That was an even harder question to answer. He and Brighde knew they’d met each day before the hunting trip. They’d allowed it because the couple remained within the walls, where anyone could walk in on them in her workstation. But he’d been livid when he learned they’d gone to the beach together. It was only Callum’s insistence that kept him from dragging Magnus’s corpse from the cave. He witnessed how Saoirse retreated into herself while he was away. She seemed back to her usual self, but after seeing her stand up to everyone, he’d realized that she’d lost the confidence she’d gained from Magnus. He’d seen how she glanced toward the gate the last two days before the men returned.
“Nighean.” Daughter. “Dinna assume the worst, even if ye ken we must prepare for it. But I understand yer fear. I’ve sat beside yer mama while she nursed ye and yer sisters. I’ve worried over Da and ma brothers while they’ve healed from battle wounds. I was beside maself with yer sisters’ and yer births. Yer mama didna have an easy go with any of them. It was me who insisted that we have nay more bairns because I couldnae face losing her. I ken I canna rid ye of yer fear, but I’ll stay and help as long as ye want me.”
“Thank ye, Da. Dinna let go yet, please.” Saoirse squeezed her father’s waist as Alex continued to embrace her. She’d always felt safe from everything when she was in Alex’s arms. Even at her age now, the world seemed less daunting with him protecting her. But she wanted nothing more than for Magnus to be awake and holding her. She’d never imagined she could feel safer than with Alex, but she knew now that Magnus offered her a sense of calm her father never could. For now, she would accept her father’s support because it was all she had. She drew strength from his love, in no hurry to pull away. They stood together for a long time before Magnus’s groan drew their attention.
