“I’m nae arguing with ye, Saoirse. The answer is nay.”
“We arenae arguing. I want to understand. So far, I havenae heard aught that makes sense. Only ye and Da are holding our ages against us. Everyone else seems reconciled to it.”
“None of them birthed ye or were there when we made ye.” Brighde felt her temper growing shorter by the word. Where was the submissive daughter she knew? What had Óg done in the space of a couple weeks to make Saoirse so obstinate and assertive?
The voice inside Brighde’s head continued to grow louder that reminded her she’d run away from her family, then stubbornly hid her identity from Alex when she collapsed outside the keep’s gates. She knew where her daughter’s stubbornness and determination came from. After all, Brighde traveled the length of Scotland almost entirely on foot to pursue what she wanted—her freedom. She didn’t want to imagine what Saoirse would do to pursue her freedom to marry who she wanted.
“What is it aboot Óg that appeals to ye?”
Saoirse stared at her mother before her eyes narrowed. “Do ye think it’s only because he’s braw?”
Brighde smiled but shook her head. “Nay. Yer da is the handsomest mon I’ve ever seen. But that isnae what’s made us love each other for so long.”
Saoirse returned her mother’s smile. Each wife claimed her Sinclair brother was the handsomest husband. They were so much alike in appearance that people confused them into their forties.
“I dinna deny he’s braw, Mama. But after I got over ma surprise that I find him so after kenning him ma entire life, I realized I feel like I can talk to him aboot aught. And more than that, I ken he listens. He encourages me to speak ma mind and nay hide what I think or feel. As much as it frustrates me, I admire that he considers everyone else’s feelings and understands. Mayhap it’s his age that gives him the wisdom to remind me patience and forgiveness will prevail over bitterness. He’s steadfast. There’s naught that makes me fear he’ll change his mind, or his interest will fade. After what happened with that dreadful woman, I ken he’s cautious aboot who he'll bring into his clan. That he wishes it to be me means he’s already given this serious consideration. He kens his duty to the Mackenzies.”
“What do ye think he sees in ye beyond yer bonnie face?”
Saoirse’s lips pursed as she tried not to take offense. She understood what her mother meant. “It’s nae ma being young enough to bear him plenty of bairns. He says he kens I’m intelligent, kind, and he likes ma laugh. He’s interested in what I say, and it feels like I’m all that he sees and hears when we talk. There’s always so many people around that it’s always felt like it distracts people when they talk to me.”
“Do ye feel yer da and I dinna give ye our full attention?”
Saoirse’s shoulders slumped before she nodded. “Mama, we’re sitting together in the orchard and doing naught but talking, but I ken ye’re thinking aboot all that ye still need to do. Every time someone walks by, ye glance to see who it is. Da dotes on Mirren, Nessa, and me, but I ken he’s always aware that he needs to be ready in case someone calls him away. He’s thinking aboot what he still needs to do, or what he needs to tell other people to do. It’s nae always. But a lot of times it feels like people are thinking aboot all the things they could be doing besides being with me. With Óg, I ken he’s aware of every single thing happening around him. I could ask him who’s behind him and what they’re doing, and he would ken without looking. He always guards against any threat that might harm me. But I feel like I’m the only thing in the world when we’re together.” She shrugged. “He makes me feel special.”
“Ye are special.”
“I ken, but it doesnae feel like that in a family this large. There are others who could do what I can. With Óg, it’s like nay one else can be as important to him as I am.”
“And ye ken all this after a few days?”
“Aye. I ken ye say that ye didna agree to marry Da the first time he asked. But ye never deny that ye loved him from the beginning or that he loved ye immediately. Yer objection was aboot circumstances and danger, nae aboot Da as a mon. Yer objections aboot Óg are aboot circumstances, nae the mon Óg is.”
Brighde nodded. She fought back tears that her daughter ever felt less than special or valued. It made her wonder if Mirren and Nessa felt the same.
“Mama, I didna say what I did because ye havenae been the best mother. I only wanted ye to understand how Óg makes me feel.” Saoirse felt wretched that she made her mother feel guilty. It only made her miss Magnus more. She wished to turn to him for consolation.
“I ken. I willna say that understanding means I’ll change ma mind, but thank ye for explaining.”
“The only thing that could change yer mind is Óg somehow changing his age.”
Brighde rose from the bench upon which they sat. There was little point in denying the sentiment. When Saoirse stood, the two women embraced. Saoirse’s sigh was one of someone bone weary but not defeated. She would give it more time to ensure it wasn’t infatuation for either Magnus or her, but if it grew into love, then she would do whatever she had to.
* * *
Magnus dismounted in the Dunbeath bailey. He was filthy and tired, but the hunting excursion was a success. He and the young Sinclair men returned with two bucks, a doe, a boar, and various grouse. The women would dry and preserve the deer, then cut it into strips for the men to eat while on patrol. They would likely have the grouse that night and the boar soon.
“Welcome back.”
Magnus turned to find Alex standing behind him as he drew the reins over his horse’s ears. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Alex until after he bathed and ate a proper meal. He forced a neutral expression before he turned around.
“Thank ye. I trust all was well while we were away.”
Alex narrowed his eyes. Magnus shook his head and walked his horse to a stableboy. He sighed before turning back to Alex.
“I didna mean aught than what I said, Alex. But I see nae all is well. Ye’re even more suspicious of me than ye were a sennight ago.”
“I want to ken just what ye did to make ma daughter feel sospecial.”
