“It doesnae make it any less humiliating.”
“I understand that. Women are blamed when this happens to them. They’re seductresses who asked for it. Ye’re blamed because ye should have been too strong for her to force ye. Neither case makes it right to blame the victim. She drugged ye.”
“I’m also ashamed of how I reacted.”
“That ye made sure she couldnae assault ye? She shouldnae have tried to take what wasna hers. Dinna feel guilty for having the strength to defend yerself.”
“I didna need to throw ma elbow into her face, and I didna need to drag her down the stairs to the dungeon.”
“Ye didna kill her, which is what I would try to do to any mon who intended to take advantage of me. I’d say ye showed restraint.”
“But—”
“Nay, Magnus. Ye arenae going to convince me that ye should shoulder the blame here. I willna encourage ye to carry more shame.” Saoirse placed her hand on his, which rested on his belt. She slid her fingers into his palm and squeezed. “Ye are nae a weak mon, nor are ye one who abuses women. She put ye in a position where ye had to defend yerself just as ye would defend yerself if attacked at night on patrol. She may nae have held a sword to ye, but she was prepared to have her uncle hold one to ye if ye refused to marry her after she’d bedded ye. And as for weak, honestly, I dinna ken any mon outside ma family who could rip a headboard from a bed.”
“I can think of a few, but aye, it took strength.”
Saoirse squeezed his hand again before she pulled away, but he captured her fingers and brought the back of her hand to his lips. She felt heat course through her as his lips brushed her skin. She knew she was blushing again. Would that ever cease around Magnus?
“Magnus, I will keep yer secret. It’s nae mine to repeat. But ye must ken nay one in our family would blame ye. I heard ye sent Blake arse over heels again yesterday. He’s enormous. Nay one will think ye’re weak.”
“I feel foolish for allowing her to keep returning to ma keep after learning how she’d treated the women.”
“Ye arenae Laird Mackenzie. Seamus made the contract, so it wasna yer decision to break it. I’m just glad that he did.” Saoirse’s ears were on fire once she realized what she said. She’d meant it innocently, but she knew how it sounded. Magnus said nothing. She withdrew her hand and held her basket with both while she looked at their feet. “I—”
“Will ye help me pick a gift for Siùsan? I’d like to get her something nice for her saint’s day. I’m a wee auld for just picking hair ribbons. I’d like something more thoughtful.”
“I’d like that.”
Magnus followed Saoirse throughout the market as they examined different booths. He settled on a set of four scented candles and a brooch for her arisaid. The candles were too long to fit in his sporran, so Saoirse hid them in the bottom of her basket. Before returning to the keep, Magnus bought them each a meat pie. They found a table at which to sit and watch people while they ate.
“What do ye enjoy most aboot being a healer?” Magnus wanted to learn more about the woman who sat across from him. He’d observed her for the past fortnight and a half, and he discovered she wasn’t much like the girl he’d once known. She was still shy, even around people she knew well, but she moved with more self-assurance than the last time he’d visited. She radiated a sense of calm and compassion, which hadn’t been there years ago.
“I suppose I should say helping people. I enjoy that vera much. But I enjoy solving the puzzles.”
“Puzzles?”
“Aye. Figuring out what ails someone, then figuring out the best cure. Most often, it’s simple. But sometimes it’s nae, and I love those challenges. I dinna want anyone to suffer for ma entertainment, but I like kenning I bested the mystery.”
“Ye sound like me when I think aboot dealing with the flooded land. I dinna want anyone to suffer for it, and I loathe that it’s caused endless hardship. But I enjoy conquering each obstacle. I like planning and testing ma ideas, seeing which solutions work.”
“Aye. If I could study people’s illnesses without them actually being ill, it would be perfect.”
Magnus nodded as he watched Saoirse take another bite of meat pie. Her fine boned fingers led to dainty looking hands, but he’d felt the calluses at the base of her fingers. Her full pink lips were bow shaped. Her neck was swanlike, and her movements were graceful. He forced his eyes to remain on her face, but he’d noticed her figure every day since he arrived. However, sitting this close to her allowed him a view of her full bust beneath her kirtle. It was warm, so she wore no arisaid. The gown hugged her figure without being indecent. But every thought running through his mind was very indecent. For at least the hundredth time since arriving, he appreciated his sporran hiding the evidence of his arousal.
“Magnus?”
“Aye?”
“Ye seem to have drifted far away.”
“Och, I didna mean to woolgather.”
“What’re ye thinking aboot?”
Now there was a question he couldn’t answer honestly.
“That this has been an unexpected morning, but it’s turned out well.”
