“They are. It’s what’s unusual that makes our alliances so strong,” Liam pointed out.
“Aye, and we’re all better for it. They’ll be safe at Dunbeath.” Dermot cast a speculative look at Liam before turning his attention back to the sea.
“Varrich.” Liam waited for Dermot to look at him once more. “I dinna ken how it will work out, but that’s where I hope she’ll go.”
“Ye would never take her as yer leman. Do ye wish to see her married to another mon?”
“I’ve been thinking aboot what ye said. Ye’re right. Nay one in ma family would care whether I married a princess or a pauper as long as we love each other, and she’ll be a good partner when I one day lead.”
“Are ye in love then?”
“I dinna ken. But I ken I dinna want to say goodbye. And I dinna think duty will force me to. I thought so at first, but I think I can serve ma clan and still have a wife I love.”
“Have ye told her this yet?”
“When could I?” Liam glanced back at Elene, whose head drooped forward in her sleep. “There’s still too much uncertainty for either of us to pledge love and devotion. We need to get to Scotland first, then we can see if we should plan a life together.”
“Then ye should put yer arse on a bench and start rowing. The sooner we get somewhere safe to hide, the sooner ye can start planning.”
“Aye, Captain.” Liam grinned before calling the other men onboard to take up their oars. He watched Dermot signal to Alfred, and soon the oars from both boats were in the water.
Elene roused as she felt something shift against her side. She watched as Liam led Johan to the rail. She watched in amusement as Johan excitedly relieved himself over the side of the birlinn. She supposed it was a great novelty to a young boy. She watched as Liam said something and tossed up the front of his plaid. She couldn’t see anything, which she considered both a blessing and a disappointment.
The duo laughed over something she didn’t hear, but it lightened Elene’s mood to see Johan enjoying time with a man who valued the child. Her brother and sister had few memories of their father, and Gunter hadn’t been a welcome substitute. A surge of affection and longing coursed through her as she observed Liam. She had a powerful craving for them to form the family she’d once had. She wanted a life with Liam where they could care for her siblings and one day have their own children.
She chided herself for being ridiculous. They were attracted to one another, even fond of each other, but that wouldn’t change their stations. It wouldn’t change Liam’s obligations to his clans. She’d never imagined she would take such liberties with a man who wasn’t her husband, and she knew she would be heartbroken when they went their separate ways. But she didn’t regret the kisses and touches they shared. She suspected they were what would keep her company in the days ahead, when she struggled to begin life anew in a foreign land among strangers. She didn’t doubt Liam would do what he could to help them adjust, but he wouldn’t be their nursemaid forever.
Elene considered how Liam said that they would enjoy life at either Dunbeath or Varrich, and how he’d added that he liked Varrich better. She wanted to believe it was a subtle invitation, but she refused to get her hopes up lest she be made a fool. As she watched Liam lower his plaid and clap his hand on Johan’s shoulder before they turned back toward Elene and Katryne, she wondered if she could live as a man’s mistress, even if only for a while. She knew to her core Liam would never keep a leman once he married. Even if it were a political union and in name only, he would never be unfaithful. What would become of her as an unwed woman who’d bedded the laird’s son? She would either end up as a tavern wench or the wife of a man desperate enough to accept a nobleman’s castoff. There was no chance for further intimacies aboard the ship, and the responsible part of her knew there should be no more. But she still craved his touch, at the very least his kisses.
“Are you hungry?” Liam asked as Johan settled against Elene once more. The jovial child from a moment ago once more turned into a sleepy boy as he took comfort in his older sister’s embrace. Elene suspected they’d barely slept since she left Katryne and Johan in their mother’s care. Guilt plagued her that she’d been too naive to realize the danger in which she left them, which only worsened when she admitted to herself that it hadn’t been naivete but selfishness: she’d abandoned her younger siblings. Accepting the thought she’d harbored since she devised her plan to escape on Liam’s wagon curdled her stomach. She shook her head.
“They will be when they wake,” Elene kept her voice low. “Janet was kind to gift us so much food.”
“I sensed she didn’t agree with Androw when he said there was little they could do to help you. I think it relieved her that they came to her croft, where she could tend to them. She might have been the one to smuggle all three of you away.”
“She was always the mother I wished I had,” Elene confessed, praying neither of her siblings heard. Despite all their mother’s sins, she didn’t want to speak ill of her in front of Katryne and Johan. It felt wrong.
“I’ll bring the sack over, and you can have what you like. It’ll be awhile before we have aught that’s fresh. We can’t stop to fish right now, but we will when we find somewhere safe.”
“Dunbeath is the only place that will be safe to stop.”
“That may be, but we’ll have to go ashore for more water. While we’re anchored, a couple of the men will fish, and at least one will hunt. We’ll cook what we can on land since that’s not an option onboard the birlinns. Whatever we catch should last a day or two, then we have other reserves for the crossing. I wish I could offer you all something heartier.”
“We’ll manage just fine, Liam. You’re already doing plenty for us. I don’t want to endanger anyone by them going ashore unnecessarily. There’s too much risk Gunter will find us, or someone will see us and tell him. He has a way of being very persuasive when he wants information.”
“I know. We’ll be careful. Do you need aught? A moment of privacy or a chance to stretch your legs? I can sit with them if you do.”
“I’m all right for now. I’m enjoying having them beside me. It feels like ages since we sat like this, even though it’s only been a couple of days.”
“Then rest. There’s no need for you to do aught but be with your brother and sister.” Liam caught himself before offering to hold her while she rested. His arms ached to wrap around her, to offer her comfort when the strain was so obvious. He had no more answers to the unasked questions than he did when he discovered her on the wagon. But he hoped she understood he shared her burden willingly, that he would do everything he could to keep the three Isbister siblings away from harm.
“Liam?”
“Yes.”
“Mayhap we can watch the stars together tonight.”
Liam beamed. “I would love it. I’ve missed that with you.”
