“You thought aboot me like that?” It was Caitlyn’s turn to blush. “I did the same. Granted, I’m certain mine were less vivid than yours. You had the advantage of firsthand knowledge. But I felt wretched not being able to cease my dreams aboot the mon I believed my sister would marry.”
“Back then, I had little knowledge. Since I assumed I would marry Cairren, it seemed wrong to venture to a tavern or take up with a servant. I would never humiliate her like that.”
“You wouldn’t.” Caitlyn scowled. “Padraig never did aught, but he certainly humiliated her, nonetheless.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to think aboot that now.”
“It took all the restraint I had and a good dose of discouragement from Daniel and Jamie to keep from murdering him.” Alex’s scowl matched Caitlyn’s. It had pained Alex to arrive at the Munros’ to discover how they treated Cairren, and to find out how neglectful her husband was at the time. It had also made him even more resolved to always show Caitlyn how much he valued her. He led her to the chair before the fire and sat, pulling her onto his lap. “Caity, I still feel horribly for what I said and did in the undercroft. That will haunt for the rest of my days. And despite that, you still came when I needed you.”
“You hurt me beyond belief with what you said. I didn’t think my heart could ever heal, and I definitely didn’t think I wanted to lay eyes on you ever again. But when Grant knocked on my door and said someone had hurt you, it all fell away. All I could think aboot was getting to you as fast as I could. Ineededto know you would be all right. You weren’t an easy patient, but I started to understand you better. I made myself imagine what your life is like now. I never once pitied you.” Caitlyn's voice took on a determined edge with her last sentence, but it softened once more. “I was sympathetic. My heart ached for you. It also made me more resolved to remain by your side, even if you only accepted me as a friend.”
“I was fooling myself to think I could go through life without you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was being honorable, at least except in the undercroft. Caity, I’m better in so many ways with you by my side. I feel calmer and more self-assured. I feel like I have purpose again as your husband and even as my father’s heir. I’ve slept better, and not only when there’s light. I think that alone has improved my temperament. In the bleakest days, it was you who I wished was with me. My mother told me it was you I called out for.”
“Alex, if I’d known, you must know I would have gone to Mangerton. The queen and court be damned. I couldn’t have stayed away. I hadn’t wanted to voice this, but I resent no one telling me.”
“I told my parents and Brice not to. I wanted you—needed you—but I couldn’t bear the thought that you would look at me with disgust. That you would remain with me because you thought me pathetic. I didn’t give you enough credit. I should have known you wouldn’t, that your feelings are more enduring. It was my disgust in myself and my self-pity.”
“I can’t blame you for feeling that way. Everything in your life changed. Every warrior and wife know it can happen, but it’s altogether different when it does. I recognize people regard you differently, both your appearance and what they believe you can do. But they underestimate you, which angers me beyond belief.”
Caitlyn scowled as she recalled the disrespectful, even vulgar, comments she’d heard about Alex since he arrived at court. But her face relaxed as she met his gaze once more.
“Alex, I’ve loved you unconditionally since I was three-and-ten. It won’t change. You are still the singularly most desirable mon I have ever seen. I think the scar gives you even more of an edge of danger. I rather like it.” Caitlyn waggled her eyebrows. “Even if you couldn’t hold me, I still wouldn’t let you go. I’ve admired you as a warrior, and I suppose that’s why you became the mon that you are. But I never loved you because you’re a warrior. Does that make sense?”
“It does. I’m sorry for how I acted when I arrived. It makes me ashamed. I won’t take you for granted again, Caity. I love you too much to make the same mistake twice.”
“And I love you too much to turn away from you just because life is hard. We pledged to remain true to one another for betterandfor worse.” Caitlyn leaned toward Alex, their mouths melding together. It began as a light press as Caitlyn’s body relaxed against Alex’s. Her left hand cupped his neck as her right hand burrowed into his hair. Alex’s long arms enabled him to lift his limp arm to rest on Caitlyn’s hip while his right arm encircled her waist.
The kiss grew more passionate as their bodies brushed against one another. Their tongues dueled, caressing the inside of each other’s mouth. Caitlyn sucked gently on Alex’s tongue, eliciting a deep rumble from his chest. She shifted to allow her hands to work the doublet’s buttons free. They pulled apart long enough for Caitlyn to help ease the garment off Alex’s arms. She moved once again, gathering her skirts to her waist and straddling his lap. Her fingers skimmed over his chest and abdomen. Alex watched as lust and love gleamed in Caitlyn’s eyes. Her right hand drifted toward his left arm, but she paused before she touched him. Their gazes met, Caitlyn asking silent permission. Alex nodded, his throat too tight to speak.
Caitlyn feathered her fingers over his scar, her tender touch a balm both to his injury and his soul. Alex never liked people noticing his scar, let alone touching it. Even his mother’s touch wasn’t as gentle as Caitlyn’s. Any sort of contact would normally send excruciating pain coursing through his arm. But her fingertips barely grazed the surface as she ran them over his bicep and along his forearm. She skimmed them back up to his shoulder where she traced the livid, raised flesh. She wondered if he might have been better losing the arm altogether.
“Am I hurting you? Should I stop?”
“Please don’t. I—I like it.” It stunned Alex to realize that Caitlyn’s touch actually made the injury feel better. He felt his arm relax, never realizing how tense it was. He’d always thought the dead weight of it pulling on his shoulder caused the unceasing pain. But as Caitlyn’s touch soothed him, the discomfort eased. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the chair. Caitlyn continued to stroke his arm while her other hand swept over his neck, shoulders, chest, and abdomen, over and over.
With his eyes closed, Alex’s senses filled with Caitlyn’s familiar fragrance, myrrh. It was a rarity in Scotland, but it was one of the few things Collette kept from her earlier life in France. Innes traded for it whenever he could, and both Caitlyn and Cairren favored the scent. The warm and sweet, slightly woodsy aroma reminded him of the days when he assumed he and Caitlyn would build a future together, with only blissful happiness surrounding them.
Curiosity prompted Alex to wiggle his fingers. Sensation shot down his arm like a bolt of lightning, and he nearly gave up. But when the initial shock wore off, he found there was movement independent from when he had to use his other hand to close his left hand around something. Caitlyn froze for a heartbeat, feeling the changing pressure on her hip. But she continued her ministrations, and it gave Alex confidence to keep trying. His fingers were stiff from being idle for so many months. They ached, but they moved. Growing braver, he focused on moving his wrist. It twitched but didn’t bend. A moment of frustration flashed through him, but he moved his fingers once again. Taking a fortifying breath, he tried moving his arm. It twitched like his wrist, then fell to his side. He hadn’t lifted it at all. He’d only made it feel more worthless.
“Alex.” Caitlyn kissed the corner of his mouth. “You tried. Even if it didn’t do what you wanted, you tried. Even if it’s only ever your fingers, now you’ve found out you can do that. Mayhap more will come with time, and mayhap more won’t. Either way, you don’t seem to be in the pain you usually are.”
“I’m not. I didn’t realize how much tension I hold in it. I didn’t think the muscles worked at all. I’m relaxed enough I could almost fall asleep.” Alex’s hand cupped the back of Caitlyn’s head and guided her mouth to his. Before he kissed her, he whispered. “Though I won’t until the wee hours of the morn.”
Caitlyn sank against him once more. She’d felt Alex’s body change from being as taut as a bowstring to a more pliant…rock. It still felt hard as a rock, Caitlyn realized, but Alex was calmer than he had been since she first sought him out in the Great Hall the day he arrived. She inched higher on his lap, feeling his rod brushing her mound. She rocked her hips, building friction between them. Between kisses, she panted, “No more clothes.”
Despite the suggestion, neither hurried to break their contact until urgency had them yanking the garments off. Alex welcomed Caitlyn’s help rather than resenting it. Wrapped around one another and kissing, they stumbled backward to the bed. Caitlyn slid backwards until her head reached the pillows, and Alex knelt between her legs.
“I believe you promised me dessert,mo ghaol.” Alex’s husky voice sent a shiver through Caitlyn that settled as an ache in her core. Remembering how his tongue felt against her heated flesh, eagerness turned almost to giddiness. But Alex was determined not to rush, drawing out their pleasure. He nipped at her inner thighs, kissing his way up her body one excruciatingly slow inch at a time. When he’d showered both legs with kisses, he nestled his face against the strip of smooth skin at their juncture. Alex relished the French tradition that he had only ever heard of but now had the pleasure of enjoying.
She lifted her pelvis to him, and he swept his tongue over her folds, making Caitlyn clutch the bedding as she moaned. Torn between closing her eyes and reveling in every sensation, and wanting to keep them open with fascination, they narrowed to slits. Her body felt heavy as it pressed against the mattress. Her breasts ached, urging her to squeeze and knead them as Alex dedicated his attention to sliding two fingers into her core as he drew her pearl from its shell. His teeth grazed the bundle of nerves, making her hips arch higher. Abandoning her right breast, her hand pressed his head closer. He obliged, increasing the speed and pressure as his fingers and tongue worked her toward a frenzy.
“Alex,” she begged. “Ahh.” A tightening low in Caitlyn’s belly made her squirm as she tried to get closer. Alex continued working her nub and her slick channel until spasms tightened around his fingers. With more agility than he expected, he pushed himself onto his knees and then hovered his body over hers. She stroked his cock thrice before guiding him to her entrance. She grasped his buttocks and pushed as he thrusted of his own volition. Both paused as the feeling of joining was nearly as blissful as their climaxes. But it wasn’t long before need overshadowed sentimentality. They moved together, heightening each other’s arousal. Sweat beaded their skin, and the sounds of their lovemaking filled their chamber.
“More.” Caitlyn begged as she used her feet to lever her hips to meet Alex’s. He was happy to oblige Caitlyn, surging into her over and over with increasing force. “Yes.”
Alex’s heart thundered in his chest as he flexed his hips with more vigor than he ever had before. His need to be within Caitlyn, to pleasure her, to find release with her, consumed him so that he had a singular focus. The keep could have fallen down around his ears, and he wouldn’t have cared until he felt Caitlyn climax again. He drove into her over and over, pushing her toward the headboard before gliding away. Her nails dug into his back, but always careful to avoid his wounded shoulder. Her knees gripped his hips as she encouraged him to give her all that he could.
“I’m going to explode, Caity. God damn, you feel good. I want my release, but I also never want this to end.”
“Just keep going. I’m getting close. I need you.” Caitlyn grasped his buttocks, enjoying the feel of the muscles flexing. Every movement brought her closer as lust for her husband overshadowed everything else. Friction against her nub had her head tilting back as she tensed and her core pulsated. Alex nipped where her neck and shoulder met as his essence poured forth. With the broadest grin she’d ever worn, Caitlyn teased, “See what you might have missed.”
