“And that’s why we’re having our third bairn in five years. You are too much temptation, mo ghaol.”
Caitlyn stretched to peck a kiss on Alex’s cheek before she grew serious. “Things were quiet for so long that I thought the Scotts finally realized the futility in continuing this feud. When you became laird and Sully inherited the lairdship, I thought he was willing to put the past behind us. How can any clan face so many defeats and still antagonize their enemy?”
“They do just enough damage to feel victorious, never mind that they lose each battle. I thought things were quieter now that Sully is laird, but he’s worse than his father. And I don’t know how mine put up with the auld laird for as long as he did. I respect my father’s diplomacy more than I ever did when he was alive. He was wiser than I thought.”
“And you learned more from him than you realize. You’re a fine laird, and we’re more prosperous than ever because of it. They can’t stand it.”
“Nay, they can’t. But that prosperity is your doing as much as it is mine. My mother was an admirable chatelaine, but you are far more frugal than she is. You make our coin stretch further, and so we are better able to provide for our crofters when they lose their property after the Scotts raid. Angus will arrive tomorrow. He’s been having troubles with the Kerrs, so they distracted him from the Scotts. They’ve taken advantage of it. He was spitting mad the last time I met him at our border.”
“He’s too hot-tempered by half. Don’t let him get you killed.” Caitlyn bit her bottom lip, and Alex was certain she had more to say about their neighboring laird. He shared her sentiments, but they both understood the alliance with the Elliots was what both antagonized the Scotts and ensured they defeated their troublesome neighbors.
“I’ll be back by tomorrow afternoon. Be ready for me to lock our chamber door and not let you out until next sennight.” Alex’s wolfish grin made Caitlyn tug on his doublet before they exchanged another passionate kiss.
“I believe that’s how I got with child each time.”
“And such braw bairns we make. I’ll look in on the lads before I go.” Neither Alex nor Caitlyn needed to voice what every warrior and his wife understood: it could be his last goodbye, so he refused to miss the opportunity to kiss his sons one last time. “Have I told you what a happy mon you make me, mo ghaol?”
Caitlyn glanced toward the sun before looking back at Alex. “I think it’s been at least three hours since you have. When was the last time I told you how happy you make me, mo ghràidh?”
“I believe it was this morn while you rode me.” Alex offered Caitlyn a lascivious smile before they walked hand-in-hand to the steps. Alex guided Caitlyn, always nervous when she descended while pregnant. They entered the keep together but went separate directions after Alex dropped a kiss on Caitlyn’s cheek.
“Caity.”
“Aye, Alex. I’m right here. Do you need some water?” Caitlyn reached for the cup before she rested her hand on Alex’s forehead. “You’ve cooled.”
Alex grimaced as he rolled over and sat up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “I feel better for sleeping.” Alex accepted the mug, relishing the liquid sliding along his parched throat.
“You were smiling in your sleep.” Caitlyn watched Alex, wondering what he dreamed about. A part of her dreaded the notion that he was dreaming about a woman.
“Was I?” Alex’s eyes locked with Caitlyn’s. He reached out his hand and cupped her cheek. “It was the first time I didn’t have a nightmare. I had a dream, a pleasant one.”
“Oh?” Caitlyn still wasn’t sure what to make of Alex’s expression or the vague comment.
“We were happy.” Alex watched as Caitlyn tried to decipher his comment. “But it was only a dream.”
Caitlyn pulled away, her heart breaking after a moment of hope. She gave a jerky nod before she rose and pressed Alex’s shoulder forward. She couldn’t bear for him to watch her face as she fought back tears. She peeled back the bandage, pleased to find the wound already appeared better than it had when she arrived.
“You must continue to sleep on your stomach.” Caitlyn readjusted the bandage and turned to gather her medicinals. She couldn’t meet Alex’s eyes. While she appreciated knowing he hadn’t been happily fantasizing about another woman, his comment felt like a cruel tease.
“Caity?”
“I’ve been here too long. I should have let your men mind you.”
“Mind me? Am I suddenly a child who needs watching?”
Caitlyn straightened and looked at Alex, but her expression was inscrutable. He wished he could reach out and pull back his earlier comment. He’d found solace in his dream, but opening his eyes brought him back to reality. A reality that didn’t have Caitlyn carrying any of his children or standing beside him as they gazed out at their land. Gathering her basket, Caitlyn nodded to Alex before she walked to the door.
“Caity?”
Caitlyn glanced back at Alex but shook her head. She had nothing left to say to him. She was angry and hurt that he continued to draw her in only to push her away. She wanted no one else, but she wasn’t certain she could continue to endure this back and forth. She wanted a life with a man who wanted her as unconditionally as she wanted him. She opened the door and greeted Mitcham, who stood guard.
“Send one of your men or one of mine if you need aught.” Caitlyn kept her voice low as she peered in both directions. When Alex called out to her again, she ignored him before slipping away.
Eleven
Afortnight in limbo passed for Caitlyn and Alex. She checked on him early each morning before most of the castle’s occupants woke. She slipped back while the court danced the night away. But neither had much to say. Alex slept through most of the day but remained awake at night, too anxious about having a nightmare and ripping his stitches. When he slept, it was with the window hanging drawn back and light streaming into the chamber. While he had the occasional nightmare, they were nothing like what he experienced before seeing Caitlyn. Instead, their being together, happy and with a family of their own, filled most of his dreams.
Alex chided himself over and over for the wishful thinking that one day the dreams could come true. He could neither be Caitlyn’s husband nor Clan Armstrong’s laird. It was folly to think otherwise, but as much as his conscious mind nagged his subconscious to cease, the dreams came back nearly each time he closed his eyes. He knew Caitlyn could tell he was better rested than before the attack. He suspected she deduced why, but she never asked. Neither did he offer, understanding he’d hurt her the one time he’d confessed that his dreams were about them as a couple.
