“Aye, my lady,” David responded immediately. He glanced at Alex, who nodded as he rose. The guard eased the door open, revealing Stephen and Mitcham on the other side.
“Are you ready, my lady?” Stephen stepped aside to let her pass.
“Aye. Thank you.” Caitlyn turned back to Alex. “I’ll come back while everyone is at the midday meal.”
“Caity, that isn’t wise,” Alex protested.
“I said, I’ll come back.” Caitlyn stepped into the passageway without waiting to hear Alex disagree further.
“Thank you, Lady Caitlyn.” Stephen ensured his voice didn’t carry as they made their way out of the bachelor quarters. “I’m certain you’re now aware of Alex’s nightmares.”
“You were aware of them?” Stephen’s comment surprised Caitlyn, knowing Alex never wanted that.
“I don’t think they were aught like last night’s, but he was restless every night we traveled. We think he slept little to avoid having any in front of us. But even he needs rest at some point.” Stephen studied Caitlyn as they ambled along the passageway. “We know he doesn’t want us to know. The others and I wish he would realize no one thinks less of him. Just the opposite. I think most of the men in our clan are in awe of what he’s survived and how he continues on as he does. The pain is no secret to anyone. He actually started coming back to the lists the last couple days before we left Mangerton.”
“He did?” The news surprised her.
“Brice convinced him to train with dirks.” Stephen paused as they reached the ladies’-in-waiting floor. “No one knew what to say or where to look at first. But he knocked Brice on his back repeatedly. You’re acquainted with him. Brice stands as big as any of us and is heavier than many. He didn’t go down of his own accord. Alex knocked him down. Brice got the better of Alex a few times, but it was exactly like it’s always been. Alex still bests his younger brother more often than the other way around. It shocked the hell out of everyone.”
“Thank you for telling me this.” Caitlyn remained unsure what to do with the knowledge.
“I’m telling you this, my lady, because no one at home thinks aboot him the way he does himself. And I don’t think you’ve changed how you think aboot him. No one expects you to fix him, so please don’t think I’d place that burden on you. But you may be the only person he’ll listen to and believe.” Stephen met Caitlyn’s gaze before shifting to peer beyond her shoulders. “I hope you won’t think I’m speaking out of turn.”
“I don’t, Stephen. I appreciate you telling me because you know he wouldn’t. He doesn’t view it that way. He’s said he doesn’t think he’s the mon he once was, that he’s not enough of a mon.”
“Everyone at home knows he thinks that. He’s tried to push the succession on to Brice, but the laird and Brice won’t hear of it.”
“He doesn’t want to be laird?” Caitlyn glanced back in the direction from which they came, as though she might see all the way to Alex’s chamber and then within.
“He doesn’t think he’s worthy. He thinks other clans will mock us, and he fears endangering us because he believes others think him weak.”
“And being here and hearing all the comments certainly doesn’t help,” Caitlyn surmised.
“Nor does being attacked. In his mind, it confirms what he’s been saying for moons.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, my lady,” Stephen raised his eyebrows.
“I’d venture a guess that he can’t ride into battle anymore because he couldn’t manage his horse and a sword. But could he still wield a sword? I assume a targe isn’t an option either, but can a mon fight with just one arm, or does it really take both?”
“Both is always better, as you can imagine. But Lady Caitlyn, he’s stronger than anyone guessed. Far more than I think he knows. He hadn’t trained in six months, and the first day back, he beat Brice several times with dirks. I can’t imagine what he could do with a sword against a sword, but if I had to wager, I’m putting my coin on him before just aboot anyone. I ken the training pained him. We all witnessed that, but it shocked the devil right out of us to watch him. It was like watching the Alex we’ve always known.”
“You think the warrior is still in him?”
“It always will be, my lady. I don’t think he remembers enough of last night to realize how he fought off those men. But we haven’t recovered his dirks, and the amount of blood we found didn’t come from him. I glimpsed his face this morn, and it’s as bad as we all feared now that the swelling’s started. I can guess at how his attackers are. They might even be dead.” Stephen shrugged.
Caitlyn believed him. She hadn’t seen the blood, but she’d seen Alex’s bare muscles. His body was still powerful, and she’d seen him train as a young man. She’d never met someone who could be so singularly focused, yet so attuned to what went on around him. She was certain that’s what kept him alive on that battlefield. He might not have thought he was aware of the man who injured him until it was too late. But Caitlyn disagreed. It would have only been too late if the man killed Alex, and then likely moved on to kill Brice.
“I’m aware you planned to leave this morning. How long do you think Alex will remain abed?”
“Mayhap a day. Two, at best.”
Caitlyn nodded. They both knew he needed longer than that. The chapel bell put an end to their conversation. She thanked Stephen and hurried to her chamber before any early risers made their way to the Mass. Evina still slept when Caitlyn entered. She shucked off her kirtle and climbed into bed. Despite being designed for only one person, it felt empty after lying in a bed beside Alex. Her eyes drifted closed as she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Ten
Alex turned toward the door when there was a brief knock before it opened. He was in the midst of pulling his breeks over his hips when King Robert entered with three royal guards surrounding him. It startled Alex to watch the monarch enter his chamber, but he assumed the king’s physician had already tattled on Caitlyn. He frowned at the thought, making the Bruce chuckle.
