And let me miss the chance to see ye in a wet chemise clinging to ye. Nae on yer life, mo sparradh beag.
“I’m a more patient teacher than she is.”
“If you say so.”
Emelie and Dominic turned back toward the keep, chatting about what a typical day was like for Dominic. He noticed Emelie asked insightful questions about which of Laurel’s duties were becoming more challenging for her as her pregnancy progressed. She asked whether he believed Laurel would accept her help. She even asked his advice on how to approach Laurel. When he pointed out that Emelie had known Laurel far longer than he had, she reminded him that Laurel at Kilchurn differed greatly from the bitter and shrewish Laurel at Stirling. By the time they returned to the bailey, they were both cheery and looking forward to the midday meal.
Ten
Emelie entered the chamber she would now share with Dominic and looked back at him as he stood in the doorway. His unease was obvious as he shifted his weight. They’d enjoyed a better meal than the evening before. When they returned from their walk, Emelie sought Laurel while Dominic met with Brodie. Dominic explained while they ate the evening meal that he’d spent the time discussing patrols and securing their borders from encroachment by the Lamonts and the MacArthurs. She appreciated that he shared the information with her after what she learned Colina did with the same knowledge. She’d shared the responsibilities she offered to take on to ease Laurel’s days as her pregnancy progressed. Now they were retiring as a newly married couple, and Dominic appeared the antsy virgin.
“I will give you a moment to get settled,” Dominic offered before he ducked back into the passageway.
“Dom,” Emelie called. When he poked his head back into the chamber, Emelie turned her back to him and pointed to her laces. “I need help, please.”
Emelie looked over her shoulder as Dominic hesitated, then made his way to her. He pulled the laces loose, just as he had the night before. And just like the night before, his hands came to rest on her waist. She leaned back against his broad chest, wishing his hands would slip around her waist. Or better yet, up to her breasts. She longed to feel him touch her again as he had that morning. She thought they’d made progress. However, Dominic released Emelie and strode to the door, which he closed softly behind him. Emelie looked around the chamber and sighed. She couldn’t understand why he ran hot and cold each time they were near one another.
Dominic had been cautious when they’d kissed in Stirling and even on the journey, but he hadn’t retreated as he did now. It felt as though the greater the passion grew between them, the further he ran when he remembered who he was kissing. She wondered if things would be different once they lay together in bed. She hurried to slip off her gown and hung it on a peg. She’d just pulled the covers up when a knock came at the door.
“Enter,” Emelie called. Dominic eased the door open and appeared relieved that she was already in bed. He looked around the chamber much like she had done only moments earlier. But Emelie feared he would take a place beside the hearth. She watched as he toed off his boots and approached the bed. She knew he wore a fresh leine and plaid, since his rich brown hair had been damp when he arrived at the dais for the meal. Dominic appeared at a loss as he glanced at the bed before he sat down. “Aren’t you going to at least remove your belt? That must be uncomfortable to sleep in.”
Dominic opened his mouth to explain that if he removed his belt, his plaid would unravel while he slept. He shook his head and laid down on top of the covers. Emelie wanted to ask him why he wouldn’t make himself comfortable, but she feared the possible rejection that could come with his answer. He kissed her cheek and adjusted the blanket around her shoulders. She once more had the brief thought that his actions felt paternal, as they sometimes had in Stirling. But there was nothing paternal about the way he kissed her when he allowed himself to indulge.
“Goodnight, Em. Wake me if you need aught.” Dominic kissed Emelie’s cheek again before rolling away from her. He gritted his teeth and scrunched his face as he forced himself not to sweep her into his arms before ravishing her. He knew she stared at him for a long while before she rolled away. He lay awake for what felt like hours as he listened to Emelie’s deep breathing. He finally eased onto his other side and slipped his arm around her waist. He was asleep within minutes.
Emelie controlled her breathing, appearing as though she slept, but silent tears cascaded from her eyes. She felt lonelier than she ever had in her life. Dominic turning his back to her wasn’t how she envisioned him sharing her bed. Even if he wouldn’t couple with her, she’d thought he might hold her as he had each night they traveled. She thought he was asleep, but she was certain he was very much awake when he rolled over and wrapped himself around her. With a shuddering sigh, she closed her eyes. She basked in the feeling of him for a few minutes before sleep overtook her.
* * *
Emelie and Dominic’s days and nights followed nearly the same pattern for the next sennight. After everyone broke their fast, Emelie and Laurel planned how they would divide the day’s chores. Laurel appreciated Emelie’s initiative, especially for the tasks that would have kept her on her feet for hours. While they worked within the keep, Dominic trained in the lists with Brodie and the other warriors. The men returned for the midday meal most days, but on a couple occasions, Dominic and Brodie entrenched themselves in Brodie’s solar with the clan council.
The highlight of Emelie’s days were the afternoons. Dominic refused to allow anyone to dissuade him from spending the time with Emelie. He took her on walks along the river, pointing out more places he and Brodie had played as children. He told her stories of how their mother used to take them riding when they were children, and that it was she who taught both men to ride when they were still young. He pointed out the mountains in the distance, regaling Emelie with stories of dares he and Brodie swapped as they learned to survive among the peaks. He spoke of his father’s stern manner, and how the man browbeat his mother but had made Brodie and him into warriors. As Dominic told her that particular story, Emelie realized why Dominic had been so attuned to Colina’s wishes and how that made him easy to manipulate. He’d wanted to treat his own wife the opposite of how his father treated his mother. Silent pieces fell into place as they spent time together.
It was the nights that plagued Emelie. Just as the first night passed when Dominic agreed to share a chamber, he remained in the passageway until she slipped into bed. Then he kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed. Emelie would pretend to fall asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow, then Dominic would roll over and embrace her. She knew Dominic woke before her because he was back to his own side of the bed. As soon as she stirred, he would rise and rush to put his boots back on. He would kiss her forehead and cheek, then wait for her outside.
By their ninth night in their chamber, Emelie had moved past frustrated and hurt to blazing anger. As Dominic opened the door to the chamber and stood aside, Emelie stood within the doorway. She narrowed her eyes at Dominic. She knew it was unreasonable to expect him to understand why she was upset, but she assessed him as though he failed to read her mind.
“Em?”
“Why don’t you want me?” Emelie blurted. Dominic’s face flamed red, and it was the first time Emelie witnessed him blush. He guided them into the chamber and closed the door behind him. Emelie stared at him, her silence demanding he speak.
“I do want you,” Dominic whispered. “More than I should.”
“Then why do you retreat? Why do you kiss me, then push me away?” Emelie closed her eyes, unable to look at him. “It hurts, and it’s confusing.”
She gasped when his brawny arms engulfed her. She hadn’t heard him move nor sensed him standing before her. His mouth crashed down to hers as he tugged at the laces to her gown. He ripped them from the gown before pushing it down her arms. It soon pooled around Emelie’s ankles. She reached for the pin at his shoulder but had to pull away lest she stab him with it. As Dominic unfastened the brooch, Emelie tugged at his belt, releasing the prongs. As it dropped away, she discovered it was heavier than she imagined.
“How can it be comfortable to sleep in this night after night?” Emelie wondered.
“It isn’t particularly.”
“Then why? Why do you insist upon coming to bed fully dressed? Why do you wait until you believe I’m asleep to touch me? Why do you roll away from me before I wake? Why, Dom?” Emelie shot one question after another at Dominic. He allowed his plaid to fall to the floor beside Emelie’s kirtle. He tugged her against his body, his arousal pressing against her belly.
“That’s why. Because if I touch you while I believe you’re awake, I won’t let go. I don’t want to let go.”
“Have I done something to make you think I don’t want you to touch me, to couple with me?”
“No.” Dominic tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling as he exhaled, his breath whistling in the otherwise silent chamber. “I’m so much bigger than you, Em.”
