“You keep apologizing,” Emelie noted.
“Because I’ve failed you this evening. I haven’t done my duty by you as my wife.”
Duty. That’s all I am. More fool am I for thinking I meant something more personal to him. He kissed me to prove a point. Is that what all the kisses have been? Points I should have understood. He would make sure I, along with everyone else, believe I’m his wife. But he wants naught more than what’s for show. Better I realize that now, only a few days into this coming year. Guard your heart, Emelie, lest you’re made a fool again.
“Fear not, Dominic. I haven’t taken offense.” Emelie’s cool tone made Dominic’s stomach sink to his boots. His inattentiveness had offended her, and he wasn’t certain how to rescue the evening. He offered her more wine and nudged food back toward her, but it wound up being left in the middle. As the meal progressed, and more courses arrived, he grew concerned by Emelie’s lack of appetite. She’d been ravenous by the evening meal each night they traveled. They’d ridden for most of the day. He assumed she would be hungry again.
“Does this meal not suit you? Would you prefer something else, perhaps not so rich?” Dominic inquired. Emelie looked at him, surprised to find concern etching deep lines between his brows. It appeared so genuine.
“The maid tied my kirtle too snug,” Emelie confessed.
“Do you wish to go to Brodie’s solar? I can retie the laces. Are you in pain?” Dominic felt like the worst cad. He hadn’t considered Emelie’s discomfort might be physical.
“People will wonder why we’re leaving in the middle of the meal and then why we return.”
“They’ll think I’m showing you where you might have a moment of privacy,” Dominic suggested.
“Your clan will think I can’t manage to go to a chamber pot on my own. I’ve done that since I was a wean. If that’s what I needed, I would ask a maid. At best, they will think me a clinging simpleton. At worst, they will think me a whore because they will assume we dashed off for a tryst. Once we slaked our lust, we returned. I’d rather not create either of those impressions.”
Emelie’s brusqueness and detachment took Dominic aback. He didn’t understand why she was being so cold, but he supposed he deserved it after ignoring her for half the meal, and he couldn’t fault her if she didn’t feel well.
“When you wish to retire, you have only to let me know, and I will take you abovestairs,” Dominic offered. Emelie not only saw Dominick’s worry lines grow deeper, she heard the despair in his voice. She knew he was doing his best, and she was growing testy the longer she remained uncomfortable and as she grew more tired. She glanced down at their trencher before nodding.
“I think I’d like to go now. I’m sorry to take you away from the meal. I know you haven’t seen your family or your people in months. I can find my own way.” Emelie hadn’t finished speaking before Dominic was pushing his chair away from the table. He rose and adjusted Emelie’s chair, so she could step around it. With a smile to Laurel and Brodie, Emelie controlled the urge to run down the steps of the dais and bolt up the stairs to the family chambers. She and Dominic walked in silence until he opened the door.
“Do you need help to remove your gown?” Dominic asked. Emelie felt a spark of hope that they might finally consummate their handfast, but it fizzled when Dominic spoke again. “I can summon a maid to help you.”
“No. There’s no need to interrupt someone else’s meal. If you could pull the laces loose, I can manage.”
Dominic swallowed as he stepped behind Emelie. He tugged at the tie, then pulled the laces free of the eyelets. He spied the creamy skin beneath her chemise, and his fingers itched to touch it, to run them along her spine. The curve of where her shoulder met her neck tempted him, beckoning him to rain down kisses over the bare flesh. His hands rested on Emelie’s waist as he inhaled her fresh scent. It was a combination, but he couldn’t identify the individual parts. His cock ached and demanded relief only Emelie could provide. His desire for the woman standing before him surpassed anything he’d ever felt. Not when he was a young man discovering lust and bedding his first woman. Not when he met Colina, and he’d believed then that there could never be a more desirable woman. Not on his wedding night when he finally had Colina alone and stripped her bare. Not during any of the years he’d pledged himself only unto his first wife.
It was only remembering that she’d been uncomfortable, and he supposed exhausted, that made her wish to retire. He chastised himself for lusting over her when what she needed was rest. He stepped away from her and moved to the bed. Intending to turn down the bed covers for her, Dominic missed Emelie’s speculative glance. If he’d seen it, he would have recognized that Emelie’s lust matched his own.
“If you need aught, you have only to summon a maid. Would you like Berta to send up a tray?”
Emelie stared blankly at Dominic, not understanding why she would ask for a maid in the middle of the night when he would be there. He came to stand before her, placing his hands on her upper arms. He kissed her forehead before dropping an all-too-brief kiss to her lips. He stared at her, and she realized he was waiting for an answer.
“No, thank you. Berta need not go to any extra trouble.”
“Very well. I will let you retire.” Dominic lingered for a moment before he nodded. He walked to the door where he turned back to see Emelie’s confused and rejected expression. He walked back to her and embraced her. “I know you don’t feel your best, and I’m certain you must be weary after so many days of sleeping on the ground. I don’t want you falling ill, Em.”
Emelie nodded against his chest. She didn’t understand how coupling, or even sharing a bed, might put her at greater risk of getting sick. She appreciated his consideration, but it wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted her husband. She wanted to be his wife in truth, not just in name. But she didn’t dare say a word. Had she been a typical bride, she would know nothing about how pleasurable coupling could be. She should still be a virgin, so she couldn’t bring herself to admit she desired Dominic and longed to feel his touch. She’d already felt like a harlot when she admitted her situation to Dominic. She didn’t want to confirm it by begging him to take her to bed.
“I’ll see you in the morning. I’d like to take you for a walk if you feel up to it. I doubt you wish to be on horseback again soon, and I really don’t like the idea of you riding. But I’d like to show you the village, the bay, and the river.”
“I’d like that very much, but aren’t you supposed to go to the lists in the morning? I imagine Brodie expects you to meet with him,” Emelie pointed out.
“Neither the lists nor Brodie are going anywhere,” Dominic replied.
“Neither am I.” Emelie kept herself from muttering her response, but just barely. “Tend to your other duties, Dom. I’ll be ready if you still wish to go in the afternoon.”
Dominic hesitated, unsure what Emelie meant by “other duties.” He feared she thought he considered her one. By the time he realized what he said during the meal had given her the wrong impression, the moment passed. She stepped away from him and offered a weary smile.
“Sleep as long as you can. No one will fault you for needing your rest after an arduous journey.”
“Arduous? It’s not like we traveled to the far-flung corners of Scotland. People will wonder why a healthy, young woman needs to sleep. They will think me lazy. I—I don’t want them to think you chose poorly. Unless—” Emelie bit her bottom lip. “Do you intend to tell people aboot my condition?”
“Do you wish me to?” Dominic asked.
