“I asked her if Gara was yer leman.” Laurel looked at Brodie once more. She believed him, but there were still too many things to reconcile for her to feel at ease. “She laughed and denied it. But then I wondered if she was just being loyal to ye and hiding yer secret.”
“Aggie kens I dinna bed servants. The way Gara acted was just what I’ve always wanted to prevent. I didna want a moody woman or a boastful one upsetting the other maids.”
“That’s what Aggie said.”
“Because I’ve made it clear for years, well before I became laird.”
Laurel’s brow furrowed as she came to the part that left her in the most doubt and was most confusing. “Aggie said that ye go to the village when ye wish to couple.”
“Wished, Laurel. Wished. Went, nae go. As in the past. Nae present, and nae the future.”
Laurel nodded at the sternness in Brodie’s voice, appreciating the conviction. “She said ye’re practically a monk. I ken ye swore ye would have waited for Eliza. But I canna make heads nor tails of how the lusty mon I ken is the same mon who isnae that interested in coupling.”
Brodie smiled down at Laurel, seeing her genuine confusion and discomfiture. He saw the logic in her thoughts, and he reminded himself that she didn’t know him as a young man. She only knew him as the staider leader, the one who didn’t chase women.
“Laurie,” Brodie’s voice softened. “Ye tease me that I’m auld, and I am. I’m auld enough to nay longer let ma cock lead me aboot. I dinna need a woman in ma bed to feel content with life or to feel like a mon. Those days came and went before ye met me. I felt that way once, but nay anymore. Mayhap I outgrew it. It’s nae that I dinna enjoy coupling, and ye ken that I dinna have any issue being able to. It just wasna as important as other things.” Brodie grinned. “As for now? Well, I have this bonnie and lusty wife, who’s younger than I am. I have to keep up with her, so she doesnae run off with a younger mon. And I canna help it if I find ma bride to be the finest lass I’ve ever seen with or without clothes. It’s nae ma fault that she tempts me and distracts me. I say it’s her fault that I canna keep ma hands off her—or ma cock out of her.”
“Is that so?” Laurel giggled. “This wife sound vera demanding.”
“Aye, and I love it,” Brodie’s grin widened before he grew serious. “Laurie, I love ye. I want to be a mon ye trust and respect.”
“Ye are,” Laurie asserted.
“Wheest a moment. I want to be a mon ye trust and respect because I dinna want ye to live in yet another place where ye dinna feel welcome, where ye feel out of place. And more than aught, I want ye to keep loving me. Ma life is so much richer for having ye in it. I dinna want to give that up.”
“Ye ken I felt like a pauper for so many years. I ken the Rosses are hardly anyone’s poor country cousin, but ye ken how things stood. I ken ye can provide me with whatever cloth and jewelry I wish. But I feel richer now than I ever did at Balnagown when I had everything given to me, richer than I ever did eating in the king’s home. I feel richer because I have a mon I love and who loves me, and I have a life that gives me hope. I’ve never felt so rich.”
“Laurie, I know this wasna a comfortable conversation for ye, and I canna claim it was lovely for me either, but I want ye to always come to me if ye have questions or aught is troubling ye.”
“Ye may regret making that offer,” Laurel grinned once more. “I have kept to maself for so long that now that I have someone I trust, whose opinions I value, and whose advice I trust, I may nae leave ye alone.”
Brodie grew quiet for a moment, a speculative look entering his eyes. Laurel felt equal parts curious and hesitant, unsure how to interpret the expression. Seeing her reaction, he smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.
“Ye know that I’ll spend ma mornings in the lists, sometimes even the entire day. There are two mornings a month when I adjudicate issues among clan members. Oh, as an aside, ye shall adjudicate any conflicts between women. Some afternoons I ride out to villages or to inspect fields. I meet with the council once a week.”
Laurel wondered what Brodie was getting at. She knew the responsibilities of a laird. She might not know which day of the week he did some things, but he wasn’t telling her anything new.
“I ken that your duties will often keep you tied to the keep all day.” Brodie watched Laurel. She nodded, encouraging him to get to his point. “On days when I ride out, if ye can join me, I’d like ye to come. Nae only because I want ye to ken yer new clan. I want to spend the time with ye. And I had another thought.” Brodie wondered if it was a mistake to make his next suggestion, but he continued. “There are also times when I must tend to correspondence and accounts, things that keep me at ma desk. I was wondering if ye’d share yer solar with me.”
Laurel’s brow furrowed as she looked in the adjoining chamber’s direction. She canted her head and nodded. She didn’t understand what Brodie meant, but she was happy to share any space with him.
“Ye dinna have to say yes if ye would like to have somewhere that is just for ye. But I thought mayhap, once the bed is removed, that I could bring ma work up here, and I could keep ye company if ye’re doing the household ledgers, or mayhap ye’re sewing me a new leine.” Brodie tried to add some levity, nervous that he was being foolish. Laurel’s warm smile made him relax.
“I canna think of aught I’d like more, Brodie. I ken there will be some days when people will pull us in every direction, when there’s so much to do that we canna sit down until the evening meal. I dinna need yer company to help me be a chatelaine, but I wish for it because I enjoy it. If I can snatch even an extra hour with ye alone, even if we’re both working, then I canna wait.”
Laurel tried to smile again, but a yawn escaped. She no longer feared she would freeze to death, and she was even comfortably warm. But as much as she wished it had, neither the bath nor resting in bed with Brodie gave her back her strength. She needed sleep.
“Can ye stay awake long enough to eat, thistle?” Laurel heard the immediate concern in Brodie’s voice, and she sensed he felt guilty for pushing her to remain awake and to talk.
“Brodie, I’m glad ye let us talk. At the time, I needed answers more than I needed sleep.” Laurel stretched to kiss his cheek. “And aye, I can stay awake just that long. I’m starving.”
Brodie left their bed and called out to a servant, requesting a tray for them both. It was past the evening meal, but Brodie knew Berta would have something set aside for them. As he climbed into bed again, he realized he was running out of steam too. He reminded himself that he fought a battle that morning, sustaining an injury that he ignored for hours while he searched among the dead. Then he’d raced around the keep and bailey, searching for his wife, despite the untended wound. He’d found strength from a reserve he didn’t know he had to carry Laurel to their chamber. The stitches still stung like the devil, but he was more concerned with Laurel’s wellbeing. But as he took a moment to breathe, he realized he had reason to be tired.
“Did Nora leave a tisane for ye, or mayhap something stronger?” Laurel looked at the bedside table behind Brodie’s shoulder, but she didn’t spy any cups. “Yer wound must feel like ye’re going up in flames.”
“It smarts,” Brodie said nonchalantly.
“I ken what a good liar ye can be, Brodie. I can only imagine what ye told the Lamonts and MacDougalls this morn before ye fought. But ye dinna lie to me vera well. Or at least nae right now. Yer side pains ye.”
“Naught a few drams of whisky canna cure.”
“A few drams of whisky with medicinals stirred in. A tincture wouldnae go amiss. Dinna suffer when ye dinna need to.” Laurel frowned and shook her head. “Brodie, I dinna ken how to find Nora if ye develop a fever in the middle of the night. I dinna ken where any medicinals are stored in the keep. I didna find aught besides what Berta uses to cook with too. Can ye please ask for some willow bark and yarrow to be brought here, mayhap some angelica too? I would sleep better kenning it’s here.”
Brodie knew Laurel was right, and he could see how her eyes pleaded with him. He rolled over to get out of bed once more, but another knock sounded. He pulled two clean leines from his chest, donning one and giving the other to Laurel. Once she wore it and was covered to mid-calf, he opened the door. He wanted to groan when he saw how many people waited outside their door. He just wanted food and Laurel. But he knew Aggie and Berta worried about them both, Nora was there to check on them both, Graham wanted to be certain he was fine, and he could tell Monty and Donnan were anxious to see Laurel. He let everyone in, and his spacious chamber felt overcrowded with anyone but Laurel and him. Once the Rosses spoke to Laurel and Graham spoke with him, Aggie and Berta dropped off the tray, and Nora examined them both, Brodie locked the door to the outside world.
