The clan’s sake was what worried Cairstine. The Grants carried influence in the Highlands, and an alliance with them was highly desirable. Several clans would willingly pay a steep bride-price for the hand of the laird’s older daughter. Her father was miserly and would eagerly accept coin to fill the Grants’ coffers. Cairstine understood Edward’s judicious spending kept the people of her clan safe, warm, and well fed. She just loathed that it would be at her expense.
“I will see soon enough,” Cairstine sighed as they reached the steps to the keep. The sisters turned as a rider passed through the gates.
“It’s Kennon!” Fenella bubbled. “I wasn’t expecting him again so soon.”
Cairstine watched as a reedy man with hair that stuck out in every direction approached. He was pleasant looking, but not what anyone would deem handsome. But Fenella’s excitement was genuine, and it pleased her to see Fenella had fallen for her suitor for more than just looks.
“Lady Cairstine, Lady Fenella,” Kennon bowed over Cairstine’s hand, then Fenella’s. He held Fenella’s hand a moment longer than was appropriate. Cairstine didn’t miss how he squeezed her sister’s hand, or how their fingers trailed across each other’s palms before he released it. Their gazes heated before they both recalled they weren’t alone. It relieved Cairstine to witness their affection for one another, and she wished she could find love. But she was unwilling to accept the sacrifices that went along with that. She took a deep breath as the trio entered the keep. She commanded herself to stop dwelling on what she didn’t want and her disdain for marriage. She was boring herself with her repetitive thoughts, and they only made her wish her visit would end soon. This settled guilt in her heart as she wanted to spend time with her mother and sister just as much as they wished to spend time with her.
“Don’t forget Father wishes to speak to you,” Fenella reminded Cairstine before the couple made their way to the dais, where a servant was bringing a platter of food and a mug of ale for Kennon.
* * *
“Cairstine, sit down!” Edward pounded his fist on his desk. “Not another word, lass.”
Cairstine wisely snapped her mouth shut as her father seethed. She watched his nostrils pinch as he inhaled a calming breath. It was rare that her father lost his temper, believing God granted patience to those who reverently prayed. Cairstine would have to demonstrate some of that reverence if she was to convince her father that becoming a nun was her calling. Edward paced around the chamber, making a circuit around his desk, then the massive table that sat in the center of the chamber.
“You will marry before the end of summer, Cairstine. That’s not negotiable. If you won’t accept any other suitor, I will marry you to Fingal. He’s hinted at his interest for years.”
“He doesn’t care aboot me any more than he does Fenella. He just wants to ensure no one can claim the lairdship besides him.”
“Cairstine, I warned you not to speak.” Edward’s face grew redder as he glowered at his daughter. “If you’re certain you can do better, then you have a moon to do so.”
“A moon? It’ll take me the better part of a sennight to travel to court and then the same to return here. That gives me a fortnight to find an acceptable suitor.”
“A fortnight is more than enough when you’ve had years at court to find someone and rejected countless men I’ve proposed.” Edward came to stand beside Cairstine, his face etched with dismay. “And you don’t seem to understand an order to remain silent. You’d do well to learn before your husband beats it into you.”
Cairstine reared back, but there wasn’t enough space she could put between her father and her without falling off her chair. Her eyes shimmered with tears at her father’s threat. Being forced into anything by a man was what she feared most, and her father had just acknowledged her husband could do just that. While he’d subscribed to the mantra “spare the rod, spoil the child,” when she was younger, she’d never heard him advocate a beating. Her trembling must have been noticeable because Edward took a step back and shook his head.
“You test my patience enough to not know what I’m saying. I’d never want a husband to harm you, but you will have to learn to submit.”
Cairstine could only nod. The lump in her throat threatened to choke her. She willed herself not to cry, a skill she’d perfected during her early days at court.
“When do I depart?” Cairstine whispered, but she already knew the answer.
“In the morn.”
Chapter Five
Cairstine found herself mounting her horse in the predawn light once more. She’d been home for one full day before setting off for court. Her mother had pleaded with her father, but Davina held little sway over Edward once he made a decision. Fenella had crept into her bed last night, just as she had countless times when they were children. Fenella recounted how she and Kennon fell in love, and Cairstine admitted to herself that she was envious. A long life of loneliness stared her in the face regardless of whether she married or became a nun. Neither appealed, but it seemed the former was her fate.
Fenella reached up to squeeze Cairstine’s hand once more as Fenella stood beside Cairstine and Twinkle. “I’m eager to meet whoever you marry.” Fenella chirped, and Cairstine smiled warmly despite not sharing Fenella’s excitement. “I can hardly wait for your return.”
“I feel the same, Fenny. But this is the last time I’ll call Freuchie home. Just like when you marry Kennon, I’ll be moving away to a new clan and a new keep.” Cairstine gazed at the home she’d loved. The only other place she’d lived was Stirling Castle, and that had never felt like home. It had felt like somewhere she spent an extended visit. While she was more adventurous than either of her siblings, a new clan and home was an adventure she’d gladly pass up.
“Take care, my sweet lassie,” Davina’s hand replaced Fenella’s in Cairstine’s grip. They’d said their goodbyes in the ladies’ solar before anyone else rose. Davina had done her best to reassure Cairstine that all would be well, but Cairstine knew her uncertainty had rubbed off on her mother.
“Safe travels, Cairstine. May God be with you,” her father made the Sign of the Cross, but made no attempt to reach out to her. She expected nothing more, since she couldn’t remember her father ever showing any sign of affection to anyone. Cairstine plastered her courtly smile on her face as she spurred on her horse despite how her heart ached.
As her horse crested the last hill before Freuchie Castle disappeared, Cairstine looked back over her shoulder, certain her family had left the bailey and begun their duties for the day as if Cairstine’s life wasn’t forever changing.
“Ye seemed to have escaped the noose,” Bram muttered as he rode beside her.
“But not for long. I have a moon to find a husband. I feared that meant a fortnight when I deducted travel time to and from Stirling, but Father relented and has granted me a full moon at court to find an acceptable groom.”
“Do ye think ye can?” Bram wondered. Cairstine shot him a glance he’d seen many times. It was a warning not to ask unless he wanted her to divulge what she plotted and make him a coconspirator. “Lass, whatever ye’re thinking, wherever ye think to run away to, ye can let that fall out of yer pretty head. Yer father will drag ye out kicking and screaming, and the only one to suffer will be ye. Ye’d do better to search earnestly for a mon ye believe ye can be content with.”
“How can you say that? You know why I can’t marry.”
