“You’re just trying to make me feel better, and you don’t have to,” Cairstine fretted. “I should apologize and thank them.”
“They would appreciate the thanks, but they don’t need your apology. They’re proud men who do their duty with honor. Both of them chose to serve as the laird’s family guards. They knew they would follow wherever we lead them, and they’re proud to do so.”
“Then will you at least accept my apology? I’m sorry for keeping you from your family and your duties. Your clan will be wondering where you’ve gotten off to. I’m certain you’re missed.” Cairstine attempted to sound casual. Saying goodbye was hard enough, but a surge of jealousy that other women would enjoy his attention cut through her.
Eoin lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss. “I don’t keep mistresses. I never have, and I never will. I may dally, but I don’t make false promises and I don’t lead women on.”
False promises. There it is. Plain and simple. The exact reason he couldn’t agree to the charade. And I can’t lead him on knowing I can never be the woman he deserves. Bluidy hell, this hurts.A pain Cairstine wished she could rub away settled in her chest.
“I suppose we should say our goodbyes now, if you’re to continue on.”
“I suppose so.” Eoin continued to hold Cairstine’s much smaller hand in his, but his gentleness still surprised her each time they touched. They stood together, neither looking away but neither moving closer. “Cairrie, if ever you need me, send for me. I will come. No questions asked.”
Cairstine nodded because the lump in her throat kept her from speaking. Eoin brushed away a tear that trickled down her cheek, his own eyes burning with unshed tears. He hadn’t cried since his favorite hound died when he was a child, but the floodgates were bursting. He cleared his throat before pulling Cairstine into his arms. She willingly stepped into his embrace, but it ended far too soon.
“Ma lady, yer father approaches, and his horse is fairly flying,” Bram warned. Eoin and Cairstine turned to see riders galloping toward them. Cairstine feared that if she could see her father that he could see her. And Eoin. And their embrace. They stepped apart as Cairstine prepared to greet her father.
“Cairstine, Eoin,” Edward’s terse greeting boded an uncomfortable ride to the keep. “I was on my way to retrieve you. I expected to find you in Dundee and not on my doorstep.”
Cairstine tried not to wince when her father referred to Freuchie as his home rather than theirs. “Hello, Father.” There was little else for Cairstine to say while they had an audience. Cairstine was unsure of what to do next, feeling lost in a sea of enormous men watching her.
“Would you like my assistance to mount Twinkle?” Eoin offered, hoping to ease the awkward tension. Cairstine nodded, too timid to speak in front of her father in case she made him suspicious about the nature of her relationship with Eoin. Once she was in the saddle, she spurred Twinkle on as the riders splashed through the stream. It felt like less than five minutes rather than an hour when they reined in just before they reached the gates.
“I understand you escorted my daughter while she gallivanted through the eastern Highlands. I offer you our hospitality in thanks, and I would reimburse you the expense.” Edward made no attempt to blunt his words in front of the guardsmen. Eoin narrowed his eyes at the laird. For a man who had once devoted his life to a monastic life, he looked more like a warrior than any monk he knew besides Bishop Graham. He was as tall and as broad as Eoin. Despite the years he had on Eoin, Edward looked like he would be a challenging opponent in the lists. Eoin also knew him to be shrewd, with a tendency to be a skinflint. He was certain it pained Edward to offer anything that took coins out of the Grant coffers.
“It was my honor to serve as your daughter’s escort as she explored devoting her life to Christ, a most admirable vocation.” Eoin didn’t blink as Edward silently challenged him to look away. “Unfortunately, I must decline your invitation of hospitality. And there is no need for aught else.”
The two men stared at one another for a long moment before Edward nodded. “Then we bid you good day and Godspeed.” The laird didn’t wait to see if Cairstine followed, nudging his horse to trot under the portcullis.
“Thank you, Eoin,” Cairstine whispered.
“Remember my pledge, Cairrie. I’ll never break it.”
“I will, Eo. Goodbye,” Cairstine’s voice broke on the last syllable as she struggled not to cry.
“Goodbye, Carrie.”
Cairstine watched Eoin and the Gordons turn their horses northeast and gallop away. She feared her heart had galloped away with them.
Chapter Sixteen
“Cair!” Fenella’s eager voice carried as she bounded down the steps to greet Cairstine in the bailey. Just like the last time she returned home, Davina made her way more gracefully, but her smile matched Fenella’s. Cairstine slid from her saddle, gripping it for a moment, unsure if her legs would hold her. She still trembled from the brief exchange with her father and the rawness of Eoin leaving her behind. She took a deep breath and composed herself before opening her arms to hug both her mother and her sister.
“Remain quiet, Cair. Do what you can to agree with him, and we will sort it out once his anger blows over,” Davina whispered beside Cairstine’s ear. “Just for the love of all the blessed saints and archangels, don’t argue with him.”
“Aye, Mama,” Cairstine murmured.
“Come inside,” Fenella bubbled. “You must be famished.”
“I am a wee peckish,” Cairstine admitted as her stomach growled.
“You intended to live on far less. You can wait a little longer to eat,” Edward’s voice boomed from behind her.
“Aye, Father,” Cairstine kept her head bowed as she followed her mother and father into the keep. Fenella wound her arms around Cairstine’s and squeezed.
“He’s furious, but he’s calmed significantly from a couple of days ago. Don’t argue with him, and it should all blow over once your betrothal is secure.” Fenella and Davina warned her not to argue, and she supposed she had a habit of doing that when she recalled the last conversation she had with her father in his solar.
“Once my betrothal is secured? Has Father decided?” Cairstine feared she would retch on the fresh rushes as they passed through the Great Hall.
