“Is that it?” she wondered aloud.
Eoin’s smile was patient, even if rakish. “Not even nearly. I’m going slowly so your body and your mind grow used to my touch.” He drew back his fingers before pressing them into her sheath again, careful not to be forceful. His thumb passed over her numb twice before pressing against it. Cairstine shuddered as her hips rocked forward to meet his hand. He circled his thumb over her pearl, and Cairstine moaned. Her body assumed control, and she rolled onto her back, her legs falling open.
Eoin shifted, his upper body hovering over hers, careful not to pin her to the ground. She reached her arms around him and pulled him closer. He waited, keeping a hair's breadth away from her, but she squeezed and pressed his chest to hers. Their mouths found each other once again, and Eoin’s fingers continued to work Cairstine’s sensitive skin. With each dip into her sheath, he pressed a little further. The fourth time brought his fingers against a barrier. He froze in confusion. He was a well-experienced lover, and he knew he should have been able to press his fingers further into the shaft of a woman who was no longer a virgin. He could only assume he’d found Cairstine’s maidenhead since he’d never dallied with a virgin before. But he couldn’t reconcile what he felt with what Cairstine was certain had happened.
“Can I touch you?” Cairstine’s innocent question eradicated any other thought in Eoin’s mind.
“You can do aught you like,” Eoin smiled. Cairstine wasn’t brave enough to reach beneath his leine, and she was unconvinced the feel of his rod wouldn’t repulse her, but she was curious nonetheless. Her palm ran over his length on top of his leine. She skimmed her hand over it, barely feeling its outline until it twitched. She jerked her hand away as though it were on fire. “I’m sorry.”
“Cairrie, you did naught wrong.” He smiled as he smoothed back her hair. “My body enjoys your touch. That was its way of letting you know it wishes you’d do more. But only if you want to.” Eoin was quick to clarify. Cairstine nodded before returning her hand, this time allowing her palm to form a loose hold on his cock. The girth shocked her, and she nearly blurted out that she couldn’t imagine how that fit anywhere, but she kept the thought to herself. She stroked her hand up and down as she surveyed its length before wrapping her hand tighter around it. Eoin groaned, and when she glanced up, she noticed he’d squeezed his eyes shut. He looked in pain.
“I’m doing it wrong, aren’t I?”
Eoin’s eyes flew open as he shook his head. “If you do it any more right, I will embarrass both us.” Eoin sucked in his breath and held it as he registered that Cairstine didn’t understand. “Your hand feels too good. I’ll spill my seed if you do much more.”
“Oh,” Cairstine blushed. Her mouth remained in a perfect circle, and Eoin once more squeezed his eyes closed.
“Don’t make that expression, Cairrie. It makes me think aboot things a woman can do with her mouth to a mon, and I absolutely will not teach you aboot that.”
“Why not?”
“Because a mon doesn’t ask a lady to do such things.”
“But you’ve had ladies do it, haven’t you? I mean ladies at court or wherever, not just whores.”
“Cairstine,” Eoin hissed. His face would surely go up in flames. He was not prepared to discuss his bedchamber habits with her. “Those ladies learned what to do long before I came along. It’s not the same.”
He pressed his lips to hers, cutting off any further comment as he focused on drawing out her pleasure. He worked his fingers and thumb until Cairstine’s fingers dug into his shoulders, and her soft moans grew closer together. Then she was shattering in his arms, and Eoin watched the most blissful expression take hold of Cairstine’s beautiful face. Pride and possessiveness surged through him, knowing he was the first man to ever pleasure Cairstine. A spark of jealousy flashed through him at the thought that another man might one day take his place. He pushed it aside as Cairstine breathed heavily beside him, but beamed.
“Was that what the matrons talk aboot? A climax?”
“Aye,mo Cairrie. That was your release. It’s what should pass between a mon and woman every time they’re intimate. It should always be aboot pleasure for both partners.”
“But you didn’t get yours.”
“My pleasure came from watching you.”
Cairstine furrowed her brow, not understanding how that could be anything similar to what she experienced, but she wouldn’t ruin the moment by arguing.
“I never imagined aught could feel like that. I feel like saying thank you would be rude, as though you did me a service, but I don’t know what else to say,” Cairstine admitted.
“I will accept your thanks, knowing that you enjoyed this. That’s all I want.”
Cairstine grew serious as she once again cupped his jaw in one hand. She used the other to tuck hair behind his ear. “You’re a good mon, Eoin Gordon. Far better than I think anyone realizes.” She forced herself to stop before she embarrassed herself by admitting that she wished he was her man, but she couldn’t. He didn’t want the only kind of marriage Cairstine could accept. She enjoyed what passed between them, and she’d never feared Eoin, but she knew she couldn’t do more. Her body might desire the pleasure, but her mind would refuse to allow it.
“We need to head back to camp, Cairrie.”
Cairstine nodded and stood. Eoin was quick to pleat his plaid as she donned her kirtle. Eoin watched Cairstine enter the camp before him, and once she settled on her bedroll near the fire, he approached. But Bram stepped in front of him, clasping his shoulder and leaning in.
“Ye’re good for the lass, so that’s why I didna stop ye. But push her to do more, frighten her in any way, and I will kill ye. And there will be so little left after I destroy ye, even the birds willna find enough scraps to call ye a meal.” Bram’s voice was barely a whisper, but the deadly seriousness was loud and clear.
Eoin nodded as he looked at Bram. “I have never forced a woman, and I don’t intend to start now. We want different things in life, but if I can show her she’s not damaged, then I will do all that I can. I just wish we wanted the same thing because I’d marry her if we did.”
Eoin walked to his own bedroll that lay across the fire from Cairstine. He drifted off to sleep remembering the feel of her hand on him and the joy on her face.
Chapter Fourteen
By tacit agreement, Cairstine and Eoin shared few intimacies during the rest of the trip. Eoin didn’t want to push Cairstine too far and jeopardize the progress they had made as friends. Cairstine felt guilty for taking and not giving, but she feared she would panic and ruin things between them. They exchanged several heated gazes, but they also shared pleasant conversation as they rode. She and Bram recounted more stories from Cairstine’s childhood, and it appeared she’d had a happy one. While she didn’t attend Mass as often once she joined the royal court, and Eoin only attended once a day most of the time, they found they shared a deep and abiding faith. It surprised her to discover the depth and breadth of Eoin’s religious education mirroring her own. She’d sucked her lips in to keep from saying that he reminded her of a fallen angel with the combination of his looks, his reputation, and his spiritual knowledge.
