No one caught up with us, though it took us days to cross to the eastern side of the country. I was a little disappointed, to be honest. I’d heard so much about how hard it was to be apart from mates, not just for selkies, but even regular Alphas.
Supposedly, mating bonds made you long to be with the one you were bonded to. Queen Travalya had been chased across the entire world by her dragon mates, just for the chance to be her naked foot stool and make her the perfect omelet, and even though I knew that was just a book, was it too much to want that kind of love for myself?
I knew why I was upset. Seeing Goran again, and knowing he’d only come to find me because he’d been forced to. He’dbeen able to stay away for almost a decade, and that had bruised some soft place inside me, though I’d tried to harden myself against that kind of hurt long ago. Had he truly believed the letter I’d left for Stellina, that I’d gone back to Mirren for money? He’d always showered me with gifts in the year we were together, and of course I liked them. Shiny things in particular were irresistible. But did he really think I was greedy?
Maybe he was just tired of being poisoned?
No, that couldn’t be it. Goran had always welcomed my gentle poison trainings. He’d said he liked becoming stronger, no matter how sick it made him. After a while, I’d even told him when I was giving him the next watered-down dose, so he’d be prepared for the effects. No human could be protected from every poison, but I’d made sure my ex-husband was as close as possible.
Then there was Kellin, who had given me so much pleasure I’d almost wondered if he was trying to incapacitate me. He’d turned my body and brain into mush in the bathing room, and made me start to fall for him in the library. He had to be following me and should have caught up by now.
Maybe I’d given him too much of the sedative?Fuck.I’d given him the dose for shifters, not humans. For all I knew, he was still sleeping it off three days later. I couldn’t feel him inside me, since we didn’t have claiming marks and all the rest.
Not like Lachlan. I looked out over the choppy sea and ground my teeth as I thought of him. Well, of all the ways I wanted to punch him in the dick. He’d been there in my thoughts, in my heart, and I’d never felt so exposed. It was worse than the times men had tried to get handsy with me, since there wasn’t anything I could do.
Alexios might have some ideas. He’d learned a lot about mental fortitude as a celibate priest. I’d ask after lunch. Nobody should meditate on an empty stomach, right?
I sighed and shouted over the sound of the waves, “You want cheese and pickle, or just butter and jam?” Of the two of us, Alexios was the cook, but even I could make a sandwich when he let me.
“Cheese. And maybe some of the chives from Lachlan’s garden?” Alexios called from the stern, where he held the rudder while I prepared our meal.
“Only if you don’t say his name.”
Alexios lifted an eyebrow, but didn’t speak. Smart man.
I carried his sandwich to the stern and returned to the supplies to make my own. The small skiff we’d found was just large enough to handle the chop in the Northern Sea, though so far, we’d been lucky to have clear skies and gentle waves that were more usual in the Eastern or Wyngelian Sea. Except for the icy wind, the calm here made the sailing pure joy.
Sea spray wet my face like the ocean returned my affection, and I licked it off. “I forgot how much I love sailing. Did you know I used to get seasick?”
He chuckled. “Not possible. You ate salted beef stew and candied figs through the crossing to Mirren in a gale with twenty-five-foot swells.” He shuddered. “Even remembering the smell of those two things together makes me feel ill.”
“Not my fault you don’t have refined tastes.”
“When you’ve lived your whole life in an ascetic temple, there’s not much of a chance to gain an adventurous palate, mistress.” Gah, something about the way he said mistress these days, even when he wasn’t speaking Starlakian, gave me the oddest feeling. Like it was less of a title and more of an endearment. I squeezed my thighs together and sliced the cheese a little more violently. “What’s wrong, mistress?”
“You know, you don’t have to call me mistress anymore,” I said. “We’re on the way to Pict. The asshole fire god knows myname already. You can call me Rada. Or Mina, if you want.” Our eyes met, and we both laughed, remembering the day we met.
“Stop following me,” I hissed at the young Beta who’d been sneaking after me ever since he’d come running out of the island’s temple. I thought I’d chased him off an hour ago, but he was persistent.
“I can’t. You’re walking into trouble,” he replied in his stilted Haviran.
We were on an island south of Havira, and I didn’t speak the language. I wasn’t altogether sure how I’d gotten to this island anyway. I had a vague memory of a shipwreck and had woken up on a beach with a pocket full of goldani that smelled like the bottom of the ocean, a new necklace, and the worst hangover of my life. The island priests had brought me food, though I’d stayed out of the temple. This priest wasn’t getting the message, though.
“My middle name is trouble.”
“My name is Alexios dal Luyen. Your name, mistress?”
“Well, I’m not your mistress. You can call me Vermina ta Goran. Now I’m leaving.” I turned my head.
“Mina?” He laughed. “You weren’t lying. That word means trouble in my language.” Before he was done speaking, he’d swung his leg under mine and knocked me to the forest floor. He froze with my dagger at his neck, his body touching mine in a way that seemed protective.
“Look, Mina.” His eyes flicked to a red and black spider that dangled from a silk right where I would have stepped. “Please forgive me for touching you without consent, but there is no antidote for the jarlock spider’s venom.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread over my face as he lifted the spider away on a leaf. “Not yet, maybe.”
Three days later, I’d had an antidote for the jarlock spider, a rudimentary grasp of his language, and a new, persistent valet,though he’d tried to get me to call him a word I’d later learned meant postulant. I’d taught him to call me mistress in a dozen languages, since he couldn’t use my real name, and he refused to call me a word that meant vermin, in any language.
He winked at me now and answered in Starlakian, “Yes,mistress,” using the word for lover. I scowled fiercely at him. He nodded back with a soft smile and held up the compass. “The wind is pushing us north.” He adjusted the rudder, the muscles on his forearms standing out in a way that made me forget he was a priest.
