To be fair, I’d wanted to kick some sense into the warlord as well. He was a living legend, his bravery spoken of across the continent. But he’d fled like a coward from Rada’s side, andsulked inside his own borders instead of following to keep her safe. Though it was obvious to me she was forgiving him already.
Why could he not see the love shining from her eyes? It was more than a match for the love he felt for her. He was only beginning to see what he’d let go, even if he’d kept the braids.
Those had surprised me. Their presence meant they were still married, of course, though I wasn’t sure Rada knew it. Should I tell her about the gemstones hidden under the bone? I curled my lip. Why help him find his way back to her? He still believed she was seeking treasure and fame when she left him.
Only Kellin knew the truth. Now that one, I liked. He was quiet and intelligent, and I was damned glad I was already her valet, or he would’ve taken the spot with no trouble.
Lachlan, Kellin, and Goran. I turned the three males’ names over in my mind like the rough gems Rada liked to play with when she was coming up with a new cure. Three mates, whether she recognized them as such or not.
“Alexios,” she murmured. I turned back, catching the apple she tossed to me, the pre-dawn light only just bright enough to see it coming. “We’d better eat now. We’ll need to ride faster once the sun’s up. Goran will be on our trail as soon as the sedative wears off.”
I smirked. “Goran will have his hands full. I added one of the temple’s remedies to the warriors’ ale last night.”
“You… what?” She choked. “You poisoned the camp? When?”
“I did, and I think you were yelling out the number four?” I knew better than to tease her, but the way her cheeks went pink was worth the price I’d pay later. She’d find some way to retaliate. “I gave them enough to make the ale bitter, but I’m fairly certain they were all past the point of tasting it. That storm coming out of nowhere had them spooked. Superstitious lot, those Starlakians.”
“You poisoned them.”
“Not exactly. I administered temple medicine to them, and to their warlord.” She gasped. “I gave them all a very healthy dose of the one my head priest often asked me to concoct for him when he couldn’t sleep due to severe constipation. Goran won’t wake until noon, and when he does, he will want nothing more than to evacuate his bowels for the next three days.”
Her laughter was every bird in the world singing at once, every temple bell chiming in the dawn breeze, every sparkling stream splashing on its banks. “How would I ever get along without you?”
“I pray you will never have to know.” I did pray that, daily. But I had a very real fear that the road we were on didn’t end in this life with us still together.
And even if Rada someday looked at me the way she had the others—Goran and Kellin, at least—I wasn’t made to be a mate for an Omega. I couldn’t satisfy her body the way they would.
And I’d taken vows not to even try.
For a moment, I let myself swim in the despair and unfairness of it. I loved this woman in the way that the seas loved the moon. Always reaching for her, moving in concert with her. Always too far to touch, and with no hope of that ever changing.
In another life, if I met her again, perhaps the Goddess would allow me to be someone better. Stronger, and more powerful. An Alpha king, or a magical creature of some kind, who would draw her eye and kindle her love. I would give everything for that.
I bit into my apple and wondered how the fruit had gotten salt in it.
A few miles later, we dismounted and let the horses graze for a while. While they ate, and after we took care of our own needs in the bushes, I decided it was time to ask one of the questions that had been worrying me.
“Are you going to tell me how you escaped the fire, mistress?” I stood behind her as she gazed out at the sea, and her backstiffened. She didn’t lie to me, which I appreciated. “I knew when I saw the marks on the rest of your body that you’d been burned. Burned severely and healed somewhat. But it wasn’t the Goddess who did it.”
She took a drink from her canteen. “How do you know? Maybe She stepped in?”
I knew for certain that wasn’t the case. “Who saved you, and what was the price? I’ve watched you press on your ribs since… No, not your ribs. There’s a spot?—”
When she turned to face me, her face was flat, the expression she adopted when she was forced to kill. I did not think she meant to kill me, though. “Fine. In Mirren, I called on the Goddess to save me. I was burning alive, and my feet… I don’t even want to think about it. But She didn’t answer. I knew She’d held up her end of the bargain; I’ve felt that place where She used to… reside? Hide? I’m not sure. It’s been empty for almost ten years.” She pressed a hand to her abdomen, a few inches below her breastbone. “I made a bargain. The full moon will mark six months until the end of the decade I asked for.”
I knew what she spoke of. Over nine years before, she’d asked the Goddess to leave her in peace. To stop using her as an avatar, though Rada usually used the words “pet assassin.” The Goddess had done as Rada asked, or so she believed.
Only six full moons left until the bargain ended. I was hoping I could keep her safe until then. I had to.
“Anyway. I called out for help, and She didn’t answer. She’s really gone.”
The sadness in her voice, like a child who’d lost her mother, made it more difficult than ever not to tell her about the promise I’d made. Instead, I asked, “How did you escape then? Who helped you?”
She stared ahead and spoke quickly, like it would help to get the words out faster. “There was a man who came to Rimholtwhen I was seventeen. He was an ambassador from Mirren, or so they said. But he was a fosterling from Pict. I’d seen him once before, when we were both children. This time, though…Well. He ended up saving my life. I might have saved his.” Her hand went to the pommel of her obsidian knife. “I gave my blade to him to pay a debt, then stole it back when he stole a kiss. My first kiss.” Her lips twitched. “Serak was tall, dark, and almost as good as I was when it came to spywork. Sneaky as fuck.”
“You liked him.” Serak. I added his name to the list: Goran, Kellin, Lachlan, and Serak.
“I didn’t kill him for kissing me, so yeah. You could say that. But I rode off to Verdan and apprenticed with Wren. He went back to Pict and… I assume went back to serving the fire god there. I hope he’s not as much of an asshole as I’ve been led to believe.”
