The scoreboard lit up. She’d come in third highest score, but if she was happy, Finn couldn’t tell. Sam’s jaw was set, her eyes down as she lifted her board and headed out. The screen filled up with Gabriel and Seb once again and Finn moved away from the barrier and toward Sam.
18
Sam
Sam barged her way through the crowds, ignoring the well-wishers and fans calling out to her. Her eyes darted about searching for Finn. She drew a breath deep down into her lungs and held it for a second before pushing it out hard and fast. She’d made the final! Her heart was thumping, but her brain was calculating what was next—how was she going to make the cut tomorrow.
Finn fell in beside her, taking her board without a word. She glanced at him, loving how he smoothed down her batteredOhanasticker every now and then, and suddenly so glad that they’d been so civil to each other last night. He’d been right—she knew that now. He’d had her best interests at heart and now here they were, walking side by side in the snow, and all she could think about was that after this—the Games—she was going to ruin him. In the best possible way. The snow crunched beneath their feet as they made their way to the ski center. For a few minutes they didn’t talk, Sam’s breath coming in short bursts as she rolled her neck from side to side as if she was stiff.
“Another final,” Finn said. “I knew you’d do it.”
Sam shrugged. “I knew it too, but …”
“Yeah.” Finn nodded as he held the door open for her. “It was clean. Possibly too clean.”
“It was supposed to be,” Sam muttered as she went inside. “That was the point.”
“It’s just …” Finn started, then stopped. “It didn’t look like you out there.”
“Oh, come on,” Sam blurted. She waved her arm. “Finn! I made it, didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” Finn said again. “But you don’t look happy about it.”
“Well, I am happy!” Sam snorted.
“Show it then!” Finn laughed and poked her arm.
Sam grinned and stuck out her tongue at him. “How’s that?”
“It’ll do.” He passed the board to one of the team support crew, smiling his thanks. His expression softened as he turned to Sam. “You know, it’s not always about landing the tricks. Don’t forget to have fun.”
Sam sighed. “You’re right.” She pursed her lips as Finn’s shoulders relaxed. This was a conversation she wasn’t willing to have with him right now—now she just wanted to imagine those douchebags from the bar choking on their words. She bet they were speechless after the run she’d just pulled off—even if it was that little bit too clean, too controlled. She glanced over Finn’s shoulder and nodded.
Over by the receptionist’s desk Maya was dabbing Gabriel’s chest with a tissue, trying to get hot chocolatesplatters off his wool coat. Sam watched them as she moved through the room. Maya laughed, and Gabriel’s lips twitched into a small smile. He didn’t seem to notice anything or anyone other than Maya as she folded the tissue. Gabriel took the tissue from Maya’s hand and put it in the trash can beside the desk, then slowly he removed his coat before folding it carefully. Sam watched as Maya’s eyes ran over Gabriel’s broad and toned torso. In his cashmere turtleneck, every inch of his physique was clearly defined, and, judging from her wide eyes and the way she subtly licked her lips, Maya didn’t miss one tiny detail of it.
Sam shook her head. “I have been waiting for this to happen,” she whispered under her breath to Finn who was just as mesmerized at the situation as Maya seemed to be. Maya laughed, her nervous laugh, the one she always did when she found someone to be extremely attractive, which made Sam grin. It took a lot to make Maya laugh like that—she generally needed someone with brains as well as brawn, and well, now that she thought of it, Gabe had both. A glimmer of warmth, of curiosity even, passed over Gabriel’s face and Sam grinned wider.Wow! Something really was going on!She bit back a sigh. Maya and Gabe … that was one to watch.
Bending down to unclip her boots, her attention zoomed in on Becky who was being interviewed by Seb, minus his chocolate-stained fuchsia scarf, just outside the gym doors. Becky was beaming and loving the attention. Her hands gestured excitedly as she spoke, her new diamond engagement ring flashing under the bright lights. Leo stood slightly away from her, watching the interview with a hugesmile on his face. Jake Harrington too. Sam snarled quietly in the back of her throat. Those two … her heart pounded hard in her chest as anger rose in her stomach. Leo caught her eye and nodded at her, but Sam turned away, biting back the words she wished she could say to him. How could he—her own brother—think so little of her? And her dad too.
Turning to Finn she managed a smile. “You don’t have to wait for me. I’m going to take some time and freshen up.” She nodded toward the changing room. “I’ll catch up with you for lunch—grab us a table somewhere.”
“Rustico?” he asked. She nodded.
“Should I ask Maya and Gabe to join us?” There was a mischievous twinkle in Finn’s eyes. Sam laughed.
“Sure! See ya there.” She smiled until Finn left, then took one last look at Leo and her dad. They were deep in conversation, looking as if they were strategizing, and like none of their plans included her.
Trembling, she pushed through the changing room doors, a lump in her throat making her cough. Had they always felt that way about her? She’d always felt that her dad, at least, had believed in her, but now, now maybe that wasn’t true. Maybe she’d thought it because she wanted to think it was true. Because before Leo’s accident, it had all been about him.
Shoving her helmet into the locker, she recalled the strict training schedules and diets she’d adhered to after Leo had decided never to ski again. How she’d anticipate Jake’s reactions to her every trick, and how she’d push herself harder just to hear him tell her she was the best. The pressure had been—and still was—immense. Leo was right—he’dbeen dropped, and Sam had had to pick up the reins so that Jake wouldn’t look like a failure.
Now he was telling Becky thatshewas the best, and he’d dropped Sam, just like he’d dropped her mother as soon as she became too much to take care of. A tear slid down Sam’s face as she grabbed her towel and headed for the shower. At least no one could see you cry in there.
Soaping her body down, Sam let the tears flow. All the good times she’d trained and skied with Leo came rushing back to her. He’d been such fun, before the accident, sweet and witty, and spontaneous. Afterwards he’d been bitter, angry, and resentful, and why wouldn’t he be? His whole life had been ripped away from him. Everything he’d ever wanted to do, to be—it had all been destroyed. All of his hopes and dreams—gone—in a heartbeat. There’d been a time when she’d had to sneak out to train so that he wouldn’t get upset. He’d been devastated; she knew that. Until that moment he’d been aiming for the Olympics too.
Her chest tightened as steam filled up the tiny shower cubicle. It hadn’t been his fault, but he’d blamed himself, and probably still did, she realized as she wiped her face. But it wasn’t hers either, and she deserved better than how they were treating her. Snapping the water off, Sam grabbed her towel. The changing room was silent. If she was quick, she’d get out before anyone else came in. Talking and smiling and pretending everything was okay was too much right now. She just wanted to get home. She snorted.Home. Home was currently the small messy hotel room she shared with Maya. Throwing her towel into the hamper, Sam sighed. She had nowhere else to go but to the hotel.At least there she could hide away in her room, away from the noise and the crowds.
Pulling up her hood over her woolly hat, Sam slunk through the ski center lobby toward the doors.
