Alicia
“Aweek?!”Sadieyelledintothe phone.The speaker broke out under the strain of her high-pitched demand.
I cringed.It was early morning, I’d left with Furgie first thing to go for a walk, while I waited for Town Hall to open so I could submit the petition.The weekend’s events were still carrying me on a high, all the way from getting the signatures I needed, to spending Sunday with Remi curled up in front of the fire.To waking up Monday morning knowing that somehow he and I would make everything work.
But there was the less-satisfying task of telling the people in our lives just that and dealing with the fallout of their feelings on it.
Sadie started and stopped a few sentences before she was finally able to say, “You’ve been fucking your ex for a week.”
“Yeah ...I know.It sounds really bad ...”I swallowed, trying to strengthen my tone.“And it’s not just fucking.”
“What”—she made an irritatedhmmsound then said—“What does that mean?”
“That I ...love him.”Finally saying the words out loud felt good, but also insane.
It took a few beats of silence before Sadie forced out, “Are you okay?”
I blinked down at Furgie as she sniffed a fire hydrant.“Am I okay?”
“Like emotionally, physically, mentally.Like, girl, this is one of the most off-base things I could imagine you doing.”
My face distorted into a whole new cringe.If telling Sadie—someone who did not know me and Remi at the time of our divorce—was going this poorly, then I really didn’t know how we were going to tell our families.“I’m good.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
Absolutely.
“Well ...hell, ’Licia.”She sighed, and I pictured her hand pressed to her forehead the way she did when she was overwhelmed.
I had one earbud in so that I could chat with her while walking Furgie—which said more about being a woman than the dangers of Grand Ridge.The snow had mostly thawed, and the sandy soil was soft and wet.
“So, what is going on with you andRemi?”Sadie drew out all the sounds of his name.
“You don’t have to say his name like a dirty word.”
“I disagree.”
Looking both ways, I crossed the street.The sidewalk led up a sharp hill to the elementary school, and I was a bit winded as I asked, “Are you mad?”
She groaned.“No.Yes.I’m worried ...”She trailed off and I waited for her to put her thoughts into words.“We didn’t know each other when you went through your divorce, but like, Iknow, you know?”
I grunted my understanding.
“Like, he’s not just some guy.He’s the one that ...He left his mark.No other guy has ever had a chance with you because of him.And I don’t know this man for any other reason than hehurtyou.And if he does it again ...I don’t want to cause him physical damage.But I will.”
I coughed a laugh, my heart melting.“Physical damage?”
“Yes.And don’t sayaww, I’m not being adorable.”
“Oh, Sadie, we should do a coaching on how to be threatening.”
“Don’t.I’m being serious.”She might have sounded cute, but her concern for me was real—and I just loved her.
“I’m sorry, Sadie.I hear you.”
“Do you?What ifItold you this?”
