He pointed in my direction.“A pretzel with beer cheese, and”—he spoke to me—“and a water?”
To the woman behind the bar, I nodded.“A water would be great.”
“No ice?”he asked.
The corners of my lips quirked upward—he remembered so many little things.“Yup, no ice, please.”
He lifted his beer.“Two more of these, please.”
“Sure thing.”
A weird silence stretched between us as she walked away.I’d forgotten everything I’d ever learned about socializing.It was usually so easy for me to make conversation, but I kept stepping in patches that looked innocuous only to find a bees nest under my foot.I should have found myself covered in little stings, except I wasn’t.
Liking Remi should hurt, right?
It shouldn’t feel so easy to make him laugh or to be in his company.And yet, it was like the inhale and exhale of my breath—it didn’t take any thought at all.
Even in this lack of anything to talk about, it was strange not because it was awkward but because it was comfortable.
The bartender set two longnecks on the bar in front of him and a water in front of me.
After thanking her, he turned to me.“If you and Emmett wanna join us there’s room at our table.”
“That’s nice of you, but I’m actually here for work, so I’m gonna keep doing that.”Jerking my head toward the glass in front of me, I went on.“I’ll drink this and stop being a mess.I swear I haven’t drank much, I think I forgot to eat today.”
“I figured.”
“Go back to having fun.Just pretend like I’m not even here,” I said.
He scoffed but didn’t say any more.He didn’t need to.
The pink tip of his tongue flicked over his bottom lip leaving it wet and glistening.My breathing shallowed.I shifted on my barstool, crossing one leg over the other, a thrum of need unfurling low in my belly.He rubbed his long fingers on his mouth, wiping it dry.The memory of that touch burning along my skin made the hairs on my arms and the nape of my neck stand on end.
He jerked a nod and took a step back.The deep gruff set of his voice belied his polite words.“Have a good night, then, Leese.”
“It’s nice,” I said quickly, making him pause in his retreat, “that we can be friends.I didn’t think ...I’m just glad we can be friends.”
He exhaled one long breath before nodding.His back disappeared into the crowd, but the top of his head remained visible above everyone else’s.I should look away, pretend like he wasn’t even there, but I couldn’t bring myself to.Until he turned and caught me staring.
My face burned and my pale-blue painted nails grew very interesting.
Emmett came back.
I forced a smile.
Chapter Twenty
Remi
Iwasnothavingfunanymore.
I wasn’t even able to pretend that I was.Sitting alone in a booth pounding water was a vibe—I was technically good to drive, at this point it wasn’t the alcohol affecting my judgment.The skin on my chest still tickled where Alicia’s fingers had been.She was laughing and talking with Emmett and the people he introduced her to.
I was a full head of hare-brained ideas.
She needed to know, right?It wasn’t fair for me to keep her in the dark that I couldn’t be just her friend.It was unfair to let her believe I was capable of supporting her without the emotional turmoil and angst of wanting to repair our broken bond, of dreaming of a future where I could openly love her.I would have to tell her, eventually.Not tonight.There wasn’t much different between my blissful ignorance of that morning when I still believed that our relationship could be casual—as casual as our sexual chemistry would allow—and where I found myself now.I’d come to my emotional realization, but other than that, everything was the same.
From my booth, I watched her wave goodbye, and I waited for relief to wash over me.
