Nora’s gaze flicked between me and Hazel.
“It’s not ...”I began, searching for the right words.“It’s not like that ...anymore.”
Hazel fidgeted with a crease in the pant leg of her scrubs.“What’s different?”
“Me,” I said simply.“Her.”
She lifted an eyebrow.
“You never got to see the best in her, because you were only seeing her through me, and she wasn’t getting my best either.”I rubbed my palm along my jaw, wrestling with what to say next.
“We’re different,” I went on.“We’re just two people who used to know each other, and for a little while we’ll occupy space nearby each other.”
Hazel gripped the end of her braid.“Just ...be careful.”
“I don’t have to be, because there’s nothing there anymore,” I lied.
It didn’t matter that to this day, Alicia still burned inside every molecule of my body; I was one everlasting flame.Iknewher.She’d never let her guard down with me like that again.Not after that night in the rain.
It didn’t matter that I carried a flame I couldn’t put out.Or that it grew stronger with each interaction, text, glance.My feelings for Alicia were more like catching the essence of something out of the corner of my eye, something I wasn’t capable of dissecting.I just couldn’t fully deny it—not when I ran through a door, not when her every laugh made me smile or the fact that my little apartment hadn’t felt like home until she was in it.
I could package my emotions into neat little boxes and tell myself that I just wanted to make things right or find closure.It wasn’t a lie.It just wasn’t the whole truth.
I wanted Alicia in any way that I could have her, even if for just a short while.
“You don’t have to worry,” I said, sounding cheerier than I felt.“She’ll do her job and go back to Chicago.There’s nothing to worry about.Also, it looks like I’m off the hook with Lily.”
“Oh, shit, yeah, she’s got that new guy from Darling,” Nora said the last word like it tasted disgusting.I didn’t quite understand the Grand Ridge hatred of the neighboring town of Darling, but nothing made them more angry than its existence.
“Get drinks to celebrate tonight?”
“Not like there’s anything else to do.”She went back to her typing.
Hazel’s shoulders relaxed away from her ears.She wasn’t fully satisfied, but she wouldn’t push it further.
Chapter Sixteen
Remi
Brooks’thick,darkbrowsdrew together, and his bright blue eyes flicked from corner to corner of Alicia’s demolished door frame.It looked worse under the bright clamp light he’d set up—it was early evening, and the sun had already set.Wood had splintered and the door frame was only half there.The door itself had a hole roughly the size of my shoulder covered in duct-tape and cardboard.Long, sharp shadows drew across it like the teeth of an open mouth.
After a few seconds, he asked, “What happened?”
I cleared my throat.“There was a bird.”
“A bird did this?”he exclaimed in a rare expression of emotion, his eyes wide with shock.
“No.”I coughed a chuckle.“I did.”
He blinked, and I wanted to explain, but his stare was a bit like being under a microscope.
Scratching my eyebrow, I shrugged.“She screamed.”
The fear that had gripped me when I’d heard it flashed brightly in my mind, the cold determination to do whatever it took to keep her safe.Not my neighbor.Not just any other person.But to keephersafe.
“And you knocked really hard?”he deadpanned.
Some of the pressure in my chest loosened.“Fuck you, man.Can you help me fix it?”
