My grip on Stone’s reins tightened like I was holding on for dear life.The horse had already launched for our last jump in the demonstration.Every muscle in my body grew rigid mid-air.I didn’t have time to correct or even regret how the impact was going to crash through my joints before Stone’s front hooves landed in the dirt.My vertebrae compacted causing my ears to ring as sand splattered across my face.
I kept my seat, but just barely.
From the catwalk overhead, Emmett groaned.“Oof.”
Brooks’ usually placid expression flinched, his eyebrows shot up and his mouth twisted.
“You okay, Mr.Akerman?”Conner, a scrawny sophomore, half-stood in his stirrups.His voice pitched, carrying both shock and concern.
I rolled my head from shoulder-to-shoulder, testing just how sore I was going to be tomorrow.“Yeah, so that looked as bad as it felt, huh?”
“It looked really bad.”
Positioning Stone so I couldn’t check if Alicia saw or not, I forced my voice to remain casual.“Try to not do what I did.Conner, why don’t you go first?”
In the past few days my mind had wandered a familiar path, no matter how hard I tried not to.The memory of bearing her weight—her fullness filling my hands.It was more to do with how long it had been since I’d been with anyone, and less to do with her body in my arms.If she was any other woman, I would have been just as preoccupied—definitely less traumatized by the encounter—and I would have tried for second or third.
He side-eyed the course, jumps were not his favorite activity, but it was what we were working on this week.After a few more seconds, I opened my mouth to offer for someone else to go when he urged his horse into a trot.
Brooks guided his mare to stand next to me and Stone.“That’s her?”
“Nora told you?”I asked, even though I knew the answer.
He shrugged a shoulder in response.
“That’s her.”
Almost against my will, I looked over my shoulder to find Alicia climbing the stairs to the second story where Missy’s office had been added a few years ago.Emmett and his mom, Deb, waited for Alicia with their elbows propped on the railing of the catwalk.She pulled her bright hair over one shoulder, her smile beaming.She could wield her charm like a weapon; at least she was using it for good.The rumor network had spread about the gorgeous redhead who’d just moved to town to stop a resort development from murdering turtles, or maybe they were cutting down every last tree in a hundred-mile radius.Or no, it was mining the dunes off the lake and burying the county under Lake Michigan.
It depended on who relayed the information.There was even a version of the story where she was a nosy meddler who wanted to stop economic growth at all cost.
Alicia stood just outside of the door Emmett held open for her.I felt her pause like we were balanced on a narrow edge, and the turn of her head toward me could shove us both over.Send us falling, plummeting, toward ...somewhere.Who knew?The moment her gaze caught mine, tectonic plates shifted beneath me—their vibrations quaking through my chest.
One corner of my mouth twitched up, and I raised my hand in a wave.
She tilted her head to one shoulder and waved back.
Then she disappeared into the office, and it was over.Everything was okay.Nothing catastrophic.
We remained whole.
Toward the end of our marriage, we couldn’t stop hurting each other, as if the pain was the only connection we had left.The last thing I could do for her as we tore our lives apart.The only way I could get her eyes on me.The only way I could see her.
Otherwise, we were ghosts haunting the same space while desperation consumed me—willing to go to new lows just for a glimpse.
I’d never hurt her like that again.I’d never hurt anyone like that again.It was a small consolation.
“Crazy she’s here in this town,” Brooks said, watching as the next student started the jump course.It was more his responsibility than mine as the head coach of the high school’s equestrian team.I was acting as assistant, but I was really more of a warm body than anything else.
“You have no idea.”
“Hmm?”
“She rented the other half of the duplex.”
His face remained expressionless as usual, but he turned his head to meet my gaze.“No shit.”
I inhaled deeply, preparing to relay the story of being locked out for the first time.Up until that moment, I hadn’t felt any desire to speak about that evening.But my feelings had untangled some over the past few days, and possibly more importantly, Brooks barely spoke in general.There was no way he’d willingly tell anyone else.It wasn’t that any of it was a secret, but it was private in a way.
