“My dog.”
“Right.”He blinked a few times, and I realized he meant in Michigan, but he recovered before I could explain.“Your dog.”
“Furgie.”
He puffed a laugh.“Furry Furg?”
One corner of my mouth twitched.“Sometimes.Usually Furguson.She’s a stately girl.”
“Clearly discerning in her treat of choice.”
Amusement flickered—a tiny flame snuffed out by dark billowy smoke from a larger fire.Years ago, it’d blazed through me, leaving behind soot covered sticks and ashes.
Emotions were shifting too quickly inside of my chest.They must have flashed across my face, because Remi fell back on his heel as if pushed.Was it my rage at being surprised by him?The echo of the all-consuming pain dredged to the surface after five years?Or was it the moment something easy passed between us?Something that felt more dangerous than all the rest of it.
He stared at my shoes with his mouth open, breathing heavily.
Somewhere in the room, a clock ticked away.
Finally, he said, “So, what’s going on with Furguson?”
My thoughts lagged for a few more moments, before I explained.Remi lowered to the tile floor, sitting with his back to the wall.He extended his hand to Furg, welcoming her to smell him.The movement was so natural.A behavior ingrained in his process, taking his hulking form and becoming a less intimidating version of himself for my dog.
Being exactly the veterinarian he’d always aspired to be.
In a strange out of body like experience, I listed her symptoms.My mouth spoke while my mind worked in multiple streams.There was the repeated mantra of, “What the fuck is happening?”that I was trying to ignore.And the recollection of my naivete.I’d been just a few minutes ago snickering at the drama I could overhear in the hallway.Former lovers gone sour.
I’d texted Sadie, giggling silently to myself.
Sadie: Is he hot?
Me: I haven’t seen him yet.But this lady is pissed.She is literally screaming.
Sadie: I kind of admire her for it.I could never.
Me: Me either.
Then the door opened and startlingly bright scrubs entered the room.And then his face.
Remi was tender and calming with Furgie.At the end of the appointment, his eyes flicked up to me then away, again.Where he couldn’t seem to lay his eyes on me, I couldn’t take mine away from him.The dusting of reddish blond hair on the back of his hands was a bit thicker.His jaw was a little wider too.He had the audacity to have a face that had gone from hot to hotter.His boyish softness replaced with the masculine strength of a grown ass man.The audacity might have continued on to his body, but that was hard to tell with the distracting swirling nature of his clothes.
God, if I’m noticing him, is he noticing me?
It was such a mind fuck.
I was thicker and softer than I had been.Wrinkles were forming around my eyes and mouth.I was trying to unpack all the societal pressure to never age and not let it be a part of my self-worth.But it was still there.
Did he see all the ways I’d changed?
Don’t care, I ordered myself.Please, don’t care.
It must have only taken a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity for him to break the silence in the room.He gestured to the bright red of Furgie’s stomach.“It’s an allergy flair.Obviously, she’s in a new environment.We can give her antibiotics that’ll help with the itching and clear up the rash.And some conditioning spray.”
I jerked forward, just then realizing I’d never taken a seat.I’d stood awkwardly the whole appointment, looming over him like an agitated vulture.“Will it come back?”
He held out a hand, and for a terrifying moment, I thought he might run it down my arm.When it just remained palm out, I might have missed the touch I didn’t get.Because everything inside of me was in turmoil, and there was no way to satisfy any part of me.
“It shouldn’t, but if it does we’ll get her on a daily medicine,” he explained.“We’ll be okay.I’ll get you a prescription for antibiotics.Where would you like it sent?”
