He leans forward, less than a foot away from the cage, and shouts to be heard, “You should not have tried to kill me, littlejhyra.”
I don’t know what a ‘jhyra’is, but the pet name sours my entire body anyway. My vision broadens, and an inhuman growl vibrates my chest. I want to pummel his face in until that sick smirk is gone and he’s drowning in his own blood.
Gaius laughs. “Right there,” he says, pointing at me. “That is how I knew.”
What?He turns before I can ask what he means, so I shout after him. He ignores me.
How he knew, what?I search my mind for an explanation, but the horn blares, and my focus is pulled back to the arena just in time to see Vexar jump. He clears the massive creature in a single leap, and I swear the man is defying gravity.I just need to trust him.
Then everything falls apart. The Skugga’s claws dig into Vexar’s already injured shoulder. Gaius’s laughter hits an impossible volume. And understanding slams into me like a gunshot to the spine.
He knows.
My blood goes cold as my pulse thunders in my ears.
Gaius knows about the bond. That’s why Vexar’s fighting monsters instead of gladiators. The feeling of being powerless to stop the nightmare unfolding before me reaches a point of complete hysteria. I’ve never felt like this before. Terrified, desperate, and powerless. And for some reason, my first instinct is to beg.
“Please!” I shout at Gaius. “Stop this!” There’s no way Vexar can kill that thing. It’s the size of a fucking school bus.
Gaius ignores me.
My skin is damp ice. I can’t calm my breathing. I scream as the Skugga’s massive arm slams into Vexar, knocking him out of the air and sending him tumbling across the arena like a rag-doll. My hands grip the bars of the cage. Metal digs into flesh. And I wait for him to get up. But he’s not moving.
“Get up!” I scream, shaking the bars. “Get the fuck up!”
He stands, and for a split second, I feel hope. But that hope is ripped away as Vexar is pinned beneath a giant, hairy foot.
I choke out another cry. “Stop!” No one can hear me. The crowd is so loud it hurts. I turn to Gaius. “Stop! Please!” Nothing. My voice cracks with the effort. Vocal chords feel like they’re ripping as I scream again and again and again. I pull on the cage door, plant my feet on each side of it, using every ounce of strength I have, desperate to get to Vexar. Desperate to do something. But the door won’t move.
I slam my hands against the bars, again and again, screaming his name. But I’m trapped. Vexar can’t hear me. Tears pour down my face.
He’s going to die.
Help him.
‘I can’t,’ I think as I drop to my knees and find the empty, silent thread still holding us together. It feels like picking up a dead bird, body limp and head lolling. I sob and pour all of my love, my strength, my energy, everything I have left into that thin thread. The silence I get back threatens to kill me—to stop my heart right here on the floor of the blood-stained cage.
Through the tears, I watch Vexar turn his face towards me, neck muscles straining with the effort, face bright red with a maze of bulging blood vessels.
“Please,” I sob.
How can a storm like him fall? It shouldn’t be possible. It can’t be possible. I can’t… I can’t do this again. I can’t lose everything. I can’t losehim.
Then fight back.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” I roar to whatever god might be listening. After everything, after all of the pain and the misery, I thought there was hope. I slam my fist into the floor of the cage and scream, “Give him back!” Something inside me shifts. My sorrow melts beneath a fire of desperate rage. A thousand knives dig into my very soul, holding me steady, keeping me angry. He will not die today. Not like this. He will not leave me. He will keep his promise, and he will get the fuck up.
I scream, not into the arena, but into our connection. “Get up, you fucking asshole! You made me a promise and you’re gonna keep it!” He can’t hear me, but I keep screaming anyway. “Vexar!” I’m so angry he made me trust him. “You can’t make me love you and then just leave! Fight back!” Longing, sorrow, love, fear, anger, frustration, rage, and a thousand other emotions fill me, and in my mind I shatter that silent space between us with a final roar, “Get up!”
Vexar’s eyes lock on mine, the distance between us shrinks, and a bolt of brutal electricity punches through me. My heart slams into my ribs, trying to rip out of my body, as I collapse.
37
TALRATH INCARNATE
VEXAR
IT IS A hallucination. A beautiful hallucination. Amara’s voice fills my mind as the arena spins around me and the cold fingers of death grip my heart. I want to see her before the end. Hot sand burns my back. Blood pools in my throat. I keep searching the stands for my Queen, but I cannot find her. There are too many faces.
