“What language is it?” I ask.
“Ancient Vhorathi. The language of my ancestors.”
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, as I press my lips to his forearm.
“Would you like to learn it?”
“Someday.” With a little effort, I wriggle around until I’m facing him. Rays of morning light spear through the cell, backlighting Vexar’s warm, golden skin. I trail a finger down the muscles of his shoulder, over the line where shadow meets light, and ask, “Why did you say you were afraid you’d hurt me?”
“It is difficult to explain.”
“Try.”
He sighs, like he doesn’t want to tell me. “When you accepted the bond, something came with it. Something that was not there before.” He takes a deep breath. “It feels dangerous, and I do not want it to hurt you.”
I brush a stray lock of hair from his face, confident he would never hurt me. “Tell me more.”
“Itspeaksto me.”
“Speaks?” I ask gently, trying to hide my surprise.
“It is hard to explain. I hear it, but not with my ears. At first, I thought they were my own thoughts, but they are not. The voice is distinctlynot mine. And it demands things.”
“What kinds of things?”
He groans and buries his face in my neck, tickling my ear with the rough stubble on his cheek.
I wrap my arms around his head and whisper, “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
With his voice muffled against my skin, he says, “It urges me to let go. It wants me to give up my control. Give in to my baser instincts. Dangerous instincts.” I feel his lips press to the spot just below my ear. “I will not let it hurt you.”
“What do you think it wants you to do?”
“Seek revenge for you? Mate you? Claim you? I am not sure.”
I have to stifle a laugh. Fortunately, Vexar doesn’t notice. Hisdarkness, or whatever the hell he’s calling it, just wants to rail me and kill my enemies? Doesn’t sound so bad. But he’s clearly not comfortable with it, so I bite my tongue and avoid making him feel worse.
“The Zhyrrak was something your people evolved to have, yeah?” I ask. He hums an agreement. “Then it doesn’t make any sense that it would be dangerous to me.”
“And yet, Iknowit is dangerous.”
I slide my fingers through his hair, massaging his head as I go. “If your ancestors all turned into dangerous monsters who harmed their partners, there probably wouldn’t be very many Vhorathis left. Evolution isn’t perfect, but if a mutation is deadly, it doesn’t last.”
He pulls his face back and frowns. “Obviously. But if this darkness is part of the bond, why does it feel so violent? What if it is not part of the bond at all? What if it’s a part of me?”
A memory of seeing two pigs mating flashes through my mind, and a surge of anxiety follows. “Vhorathis don’t have sexual rages or anything, right? Like, you don’t go into a mating frenzy?”
“No, we do not.”
I let out a silent sigh of relief, and then feel silly for trying to hide it. He knows what I’m feeling.It’s probably going to take a while to get used to that.
“Well,” I say, “maybe it feels so intense because you’re denying it? I’m not an expert or anything, but when I try to hide an aspect of myself, especially if it’s a need, it only gets louder and more persistent. Maybe this ‘darkness’ is just an unmet need? Or maybe it’s a lizard brain thing, just trying to get you to procreate?”
“Lizard brain?”
“Uh… Like your animal brain—the part of you that hasn’t really evolved. The instinctual part.” He grumbles, so I add, “It’s not a bad thing. Maybe you should consider giving in to it? Just to see what happens?”
He cranes his head back and looks at me like I’ve completely lost the plot. “It is trying to strip me of my control and push me out of my own mind. I will not willingly hand myself over to some … someshadowthat craves violence.”
