“I am so sorry,” I whisper.She pulls back to look at me, sensing the burden in my voice. “What were you dreaming about?” I ask, hoping to distract her from the increasing concern in her eyes.
With a sigh, she lies back down and pulls the blood-stained sheet up to her waist. There’s a long moment of silence before she answers. “The ship that brought me here,” she says quietly. “The box they kept me in. I go back every night, and I can’t make it stop.”
I close my eyes and breathe through the bubbling rage. Through our tether, I can nearly see the cramped space she was trapped in, and a sick understanding takes root. She was not just brought here; she was tortured. Her rage, her fear, her chaos, it all makes sense.
They put her in a box.
For that alone, there is nowhere those Tusku traders could hide where I will not find them. I will hunt them to the ends of the galaxy and bury them in the heart of a star. It is what I should have done long ago.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask in a steady voice.
She’s silent again for a long while, her cheek pressed against my chest, face turned away from mine.
“It was so dark, and then suddenly, it wasn’t. There was a window or something at the end of the box, but it just lookedlike a blinding square of light. I don’t know… That light scared me more than anything else had at that point.” I feel her jaw working as she tries to find her words. “They took them, the others … one by one.” Another pause. “I had to listen to it all. Iheardit all.”
My throat tightens. The silence between us stretches. Wind whips by the small window in whistling, howling gusts as if it is lamenting her pain.
“That’s what I dream about most—the screams. And this crashing metal sound that happened after they took someone.” She shudders slightly. “I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to take it. How long I’d stay …me.” She pauses, and I feel her eyelashes flutter. “Sometimes, jets of ice-cold water would shoot through the box to … wash things away, and”—she inhales deeply as her fingers dig into the ribs of my uninjured side—“I just kept wondering how much longer I could lay there before I’d try to suck in a breath of it.”
Every word feels like a blade that digs a little deeper into my heart, but I listen anyway. I let that blade bury itself in me, knowing my pain pales in comparison to hers.
End them,the dark voice whispers.
“Everything hurt. All the time. My skin. My joints. My fucking hair. And I kept hearing voices. Languages maybe? Sounds I didn’t recognize. For a while, I thought the sounds were all in my head, but when that light came on, I saw.” She swallows thickly. “There were so many boxes. Like a living morgue. That’s what I dream about most. The light. The boxes. The screams. All of it.”
End them.
Her story is worse than I had imagined. I knew she had been taken, but the brutality of it is unthinkable.
“That should not have happened to you,” I say, my voice rough with emotion. “I am sorry.”
She angles her face towards mine, the dim light of Calidus’s moon dancing over her skin. “Your eyes…” she says quietly. “Why do they go black?”
I clear my throat. “I think it happens when you’re in danger.”
“But I’m not in danger.”
“You were.”
She nods slowly. “You know this isn’t something you can save me from, right?”
I bite back the tears that threaten to spill and work to keep my shadow buried deep. It wants out. It wants … destruction? Absolution? Vengeance? Maybe all of them.
End them. Save her.
Her thumb brushes over my lips. “Hey, it’s ok. I’m ok.”
My fingers weave themselves into her hair as I turn her mouth towards mine, letting her kiss pull me from the depths of my guilt and into the warmth of her embrace.
Emotion serves no purpose. Do not let it control you.
But the pain refuses to let go. Itwantsout.
When our lips part, I see the concern in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asks.
“I am fine,” I lie, even though I know she can see through it.
“No, you’re not.” She sits up, pulling the sheet with her to cover herself. It is the first time she has been shy about her body, and it feels like a slap in the face. Our fragile trust is already breaking.
