She is still holding back her true reasoning, but she has already told me what I need to know. Gaius backed her into a corner and used her desperation against her. He knew she would enter my cell. He manipulated her to get to me. Heusedher.
Another wave of rage begins to crest. Gaius will burn for this.
End him.
“Did you know?” I ask. “Before you entered my cell, did you know your actions would result in your death?”
“Yeah,” she says plainly, as if her life is worth nothing.
I release her hand, not trusting myself to be gentle anymore. My gaze drops to the bandage on her knee, and my voice comes out deep and deadly. “Why would you do that?”
She gets to her feet and wipes her damp hand on the skirt of her dress.
“Why?” I repeat.
An angry flush creeps over her cheeks as she glares at me, displeased with my tone. “I did what I had to do.”
I shake my head. “No more half-truths,” I growl. “Tell me why.”
She leans forward aggressively and shouts, “Because it was the only choice I could make that was mine!” Her chest heaves before she points at the door and adds, “And because that fucker needs to pay for what he’s done.”
The air between us stills. Sand whispers over the dunes outside. Amara’s sweat-damp skin glistens in the low light.
She didn’t choose death; she chose revenge and an end to her imprisonment.
It is a choice I would expect from any warrior, so I do not know why I am so shocked. Amara is a warrior. A fully blooded warrior. It would be wise for me to remember that. She might look harmless, but that is far from the truth.
“So you entered my cell to take back your control?” I ask.
Her nostrils flare. “And to make that bastard bleed.”
14
PEOPLE OF HONOR
AMARA
VEXAR RUBS A hand over his mouth in disbelief. “You did all of this for a chance to kill Gaius? I mean, the Magistrate?”
“His name is Gaius?” I ask. It seems strange for him to have a name at all. After all this time, he’s become more of a mythological monster in my mind, and giving him a real name feels too humanizing.
Vexar nods, but there’s a hollow look behind his eyes, like he’s watching something beautiful burn.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I say, turning towards the window and running a hand through my hair. “He should die for what he’s done… For what he’sdoing.”
“And how is saving me going to accomplish that? How is your death going to fix anything? Hmm? Tell me what your big plan is here.”
I slowly turn back to face him, running the tip of my tongue over the sharp edge of my teeth while holding back a humorless smile. “You’d be dead right now if it weren’t for my ‘big plan’, so maybe consider that before trying to judge me.” I cross my arms over my chest and curl my toes in my shoes. “Obviously, youthink I’m some sort of idiot who ran into this blind, but I’m not.” I glance at my feet. “I know the odds—I’m not stupid—and I wasn’t planning on doing any of this today. At least not until I saw you bleeding.”
Vexar doesn’t say anything, but I swear I can feel his sorrow.
My gaze returns to the window, where the raging storm has become a sea of swirling dark. Sand whips by in random gusts, making a tinkling sound as it brushes against the stone. It reminds me of the sound of corn snow falling on ice in the winter, and it sparks a longing for a past I’ll never return to. I clench my jaw until the blood roaring in my ears drowns out the sound.
“After I first got here, I tried to escape. When that failed, I was taken to the Magistrate’s office.” I glance over my shoulder. “It was just the two of us. No guards. And that was the only time I’ve been close enough to do anything.” I press my eyes closed. “But instead of killing him, I sat there like a good little slave. I don’t know if what I’ve done will land me back in his office, but if it doesn’t, at least my death won’t have been for nothing.”
Vexar makes a pained wheezing sound behind me.
I rub my thumb and forefinger over my brow, still feeling like my explanation is incomplete. “He took everything from me, and I can’t watch that happen to anyone else.” My voice cracks, but I don’t stop. “I can’t watch another woman show up here, traumatized and completely fucked up. I can’t.” Tears burn the corners of my eyes, but I wipe them away quickly.
