“Are you cold?” Mr. McTaggart stopped, unpinned his tartan, and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Thank you. I’ll launder it and see it returned to you.” She pulled the soft fabric tighter around her body, brushing a corner against her cheek.
“It’s yours.” He smiled faintly. “Every McTaggart woman has one.”
She frowned, stepping back to lean against the solid wall. “Why me? I’m not young. You want children. And what of my past? Can you truly say it doesn’t concern you?”
His eyes glittered darkly in the scant light. “Aye, lass. Your past does nae concern me. You are here now, where you belong.” He stepped closer, his hands resting lightly on her hips. His touch was gentle yet grounding, offering a sense of security she’d never known.
“I wish I could go back and find you sooner, save you from all you’ve endured. But you are strong, Eddi. I expect you survived because of it, and came out even stronger.”
She lowered her gaze, guilt flooding her chest. All she’d endured, she had brought on herself. She’d chosen Jimmy Gibb. She’d gambled away her reputation and livelihood. It hadn’t been done to her. The weight of her transgressions made her want to curl in on herself, to disappear.
She couldn’t bear the thought of Mr. McTaggart looking at her with love in his eyes, oblivious to what she truly was. “You’re wrong. I’m weak. I’ve only myself to blame for my past.”
He bent toward her, his mouth close to her ear. “Nae, lass,” he whispered. “You’re no weakling in my eyes.”
Her throat ached from unshed tears. He deserved to know the truth, even if being honest meant losing him. “I-I am not an innocent.”
He drew back with a soft chuckle. “Neither am I. That should take care of any awkwardness on our wedding night.”
“That isn’t my meaning.” She sighed, unsure she could speak of her mistakes with him, let alone anyone. She could barely admit it to herself.
His smile faded, and he cradled her face in his hand, his thumb gently tracing the arc of her cheek.
“Whatever has happened, I cannae judge you. I wouldnae. This is who you are now. You are the woman I love.”
He wouldn’t love her for long.
“I lost a child,” she blurted.
His breath whooshed from him, as though she’d struck him in the gut.
“I was with child when I was turned out from my seamstress position. My pregnancy never advanced… I’m barren. I cannot give you children.” She pulled away from his hold, intent on escaping upstairs, but he caught her arm and drew her back into his embrace.
“Eddi, I am sorry for you—for the loss. But I cannae accept what you’re saying.” He cleared his throat. “H-have you been with a man since…?”
Her eyes flew open. “No! I wouldn’t make the same mistake a second time.”
The rigid lines of his jaw softened, and he brushed a kiss to her forehead.
“Many women carry a babe after losing one. My mother, for example. Sixteen years separated my sister and me. It wasnae by design.”
Edith shook her head, struggling to believe it.
“Aye, she gave birth to Ismay, then twin boys after my sister. All three are hale and hearty, and Mother was no’ a spring chicken at the time.”
“You have brothers?” The question slipped out before she could stop it. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized she might have met them at the family gathering and hadn’t known they were Mr. McTaggart’s brothers.
“Blair and Brodie havenae been home for a year. They serve in the 42nd Regiment.” He raised an eyebrow in mock censure. “Neither sends letters often enough to suit our mother, and they will hear about it when they return. Writing her is the least they can do, the ungrateful whelps.”
Edith couldn’t help smiling at his show of protectiveness, but she sobered as she considered what he’d revealed.
“I hadn’t considered I might be capable of bearing a healthy babe. Perhaps I will not have the same success as your mother. If I’m unable to promise you a son, do you still want me for your wife?”
He lightly grasped her chin, tipping her face up to meet his gaze. His eyes bored into hers.
“Can you promise to love me? To remain faithful, just as I will be faithful to you? Can you swear to be my helpmate, through sickness and health, good fortune and bad?”
