She frowned and backed away to lean against the solid wall. “Why me? I’m not a young woman. You desire children. And what of my past? Can you truly say it doesn’t concern you?”
His eyes glittered darkly in the scant light. “Aye, lass. Yer past does no’ concern me. You are here now where you belong.” He stepped toward her to rest his hands on her hips. His touch was light, but it anchored her, lending her security she’d never had in her life. “I wish I could go back and find you sooner. Save you from all ye’ve endured. But you are strong, Eddi. I expect you survived because of it, and you came out even stronger.”
She lowered her gaze. All she’d had to endure she brought on herself. She chose Jimmy Gibb. She gambled away her reputation and livelihood. It hadn’t been done to her. The weight of her transgression made her want to curl inward, to disappear. She couldn’t stand the thought of Mr. McTaggart looking at her with love shining in his eyes, oblivious to what she was. “You are wrong. I am weak, and I’ve only myself to blame for my past.”
He bent toward her, his mouth close to her ear. “Nae, lass,” he whispered. “Yer no weakling in my eyes.”
Her throat ached from unshed tears. He deserved to know the truth, even if being honest meant losing him. “I—I am not an innocent.”
He drew back with a chuckle. “Neither am I. That should take care of any awkwardness on our wedding night.”
“That isn’t my meaning.” She sighed. He didn’t understand and she was unsure she could speak of her shame with him or anyone. She could barely admit it to herself.
His smile faded. He cradled her face with his hand, his thumb tracing an arc on her cheek. “Whatever has happened, I cannae judge you. I wouldna. This is who you are now. You are the woman I love.”
He wouldn’t love her for long. “I lost a child,” she blurted.
His breath whooshed from him.
“I was with child when I was turned out from my seamstress position. My pregnancy never advanced. I am barren. I cannot give you children.” She broke from his hold to stalk away and cried out in surprise when he captured her arm to bring her back into his embrace.
“Eddi, I am sorry for you—for the loss—but I cannae accept what yer saying.” He cleared his throat. “H-have you been with a man since…?”
Her eyes flared wide. “No! I wouldn’t make the same mistake a second time.”
The rigid lines of his jaw softened. “Many women carry a babe after losing one. My mother, for example. Fourteen years separate my sister and me. It wasna by design.”
Edith shook her head, not able to believe it was true.
“Aye, she gave birth to Ismay, and then twin boys after my sister. All three are hale and hearty, and Mother was no’ a spring chicken at the time.”
“You havebrothers?” This seemed like something she should have known. Heat built in her cheeks as she realized she might have met them already and not realized they were Mr. McTaggart’s brothers. “Did they attend the family gathering?”
“My brothers serve in the 42ndRegiment. Blair and Brodie havena been home for a year.” He cocked his eyebrow in censorship. “Neither send letters often enough to suit our mother, which they will hear about when they return. Writing our mother is the least they can do, the ungrateful whelps.”
Edith couldn’t help smiling at his show of protectiveness, but she sobered as she considered what he’d revealed. “I hadn’t considered I might be capable of bearing a healthy babe. Perhaps I won’t have the same success as your mother. If I’m unable to promise you a son—and I am not—do you still want me for your wife?”
Lightly grasping her chin, he tipped her face up. His eyes bore into her. “Can you promise to love me? To remain faithful just as I will be faithful to you? Can you swear to be my helpmate through sickness and health? Good fortune and bad?”
“Yes,” she whispered. But could that ever be enough?
“Then you are everything I need, lass. Yer the only woman I’ve ever wanted or ever will.” His fingers curled around her nape and he drew her forward until their lips almost touched. Her eyes fluttered closed as his warm breath caressed her cheek. Her heart floundered in her chest, forgetting how to beat properly. “Will ye take me for yer husband, Eddi?”
The unknown frightened her. It always had. But surrounded by his warmth and palpable love, her courage grew. Sometimes one needed to take the leap and hope for a soft landing.
“D-do you promise to catch me if I fall, Mr. McTaggart?”
“Aye, lass.” His crooked grin appeared and her insides melted. “For the rest of our lives.”
A wide smile spread across her face. “Then you are everythingIneed, and the only man I will ever want.”
With a whoop, he lifted her off her feet and kissed her hard.
Ten
Edith and Mr. McTaggarthad spent the remainder of their evening discussing their future lives together. Perhaps she would spend the colder months sewing curtains for the cottage windows. She would learn his favorite Scottish dishes from his mother. In the spring, she would plant an herb and vegetable garden.
Mr. McTaggart discussed the need for a water closet now that a woman would be living under his roof. If she needed a space for sewing, the room off the bedchamber boasted good light. She could claim it as her own, at least until they needed it for a nursery. He would teach her to drive a small cart, so she could make trips to the village. Her future husband had even decided which side of the bed should be his.
