Ten
Meredith’s legsshook as Lord Blackwood escorted her back to the castle to gather her belongings. Exhilaration and mortification battled for control inside of her. Her sister had warned her the earl seemed interested in more than Meredith’s teaching abilities, but she had dismissed Felicity’s worries as fanciful and attributed them to overprotectiveness.
Colin MacBride was an earl; Meredith was a physician’s daughter. Even though her sister had married above her station, it was a rare occurrence, and Meredith wasn’t naive. A kiss between a governess and her employer seldom led to an offer of marriage—butheavens above. It had been the kiss of a lifetime. And Lord Blackwood had been stealing little pieces of her heart since the beginning: the way he doted on his nieces, his interest in their education, speaking with Meredith as if she was his equal. How could she squelch the hope blossoming within her chest?
She held her breath and glanced at the earl for a hint of what her future held. He offered an easy smile.
“I detect a trace of rain on the air. Hopefully, it will hold off until evening. I have a meeting with my banker in”—he pulled his watch from his waistcoat pocket to check the time—“two hours.”
Meredith blinked. Her head was reeling from their kiss, and he was thinking about the weather and business. Their encounter didn’t appear to have affected him in the least. Her hope deflated a little.
“If you are not needed urgently at Danby Castle,” he said as he slipped his watch back into the pocket, “I will escort you home before traveling on to the village.”
“Thank you.”
She dropped her gaze to the well-traveled path beneath her boots. He was behaving as if he kissed young ladies every day. The urge to ask if theirs meant anything to him bubbled up at the back of her throat, but she swallowed against it. She didn’t want to know if she was one among many who had succumbed to his charms.
Heat rushed into her face at the thought; they walked in silence.
She loved being a governess to the little girls at Blackwood Castle. She had never been happier in her life, but now she couldn’t imagine returning every day, pretending with their uncle that nothing had changed—that he hadn’t kissed her and unearthed a desire she’d buried halfway into her unsuccessful Season.
Meredith longed to be a wife and mother, and she wanted that life with Colin.
She pressed her fingers against the throbbing ache building at her temple. The earl drew her to a halt in the castle yard.
“Is everything all right?”
She nodded as the backs of her eyes began to itch. She really didn’t want to cry, but if he didn’t stop looking at her with heat in his gaze, she wouldn’t be able to forget that she had invited him to kiss her.
“You may speak freely, Meredith. What is on your mind?” He reached to cradle her face. She angled her head away, and his hand fell to his side. “I’ve frightened you.”
She shook her head. His image blurred, and dreaded tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. She swiped at them with her fingers, wetting her gloves.
“I have,” he said, “and I am ashamed for allowing my...eagernessto overcome my good manners.”
If his words were meant to provide comfort, they failed. More tears fell on her cheeks, and they were coming faster. He retrieved a handkerchief, handed it to her, and drew her beneath his arm. She stiffened, trying not to sag against his side, but the temptation was great. Pulling away, she dried her eyes and sniffled.
“I really should go, and I do not want the girls to see me like this.”
His sigh sounded weary. “I understand. You may wait in the drawing room while I retrieve your belongings.” He escorted her inside and left her perched on the settee. When he reached the drawing room threshold, he turned back to her. “I should explain.”
“Please, may I have a moment to collect myself?” If he said what she suspected—that kissing her had meant nothing—she would start blubbering and make a larger fool of herself.
“Of course.” Furrows appeared on his forehead. “But when I return with your personal items, we should discuss what happened.”
She took a shaky breath and nodded as heat consumed her once again. Apparently satisfied, he left for the classroom. She dabbed at her eyes once more, wondering how she could face him when he returned.
He’d only been gone a few moments when Lady Blackwood stalked into the drawing room and closed the doors. Meredith sat up straighter. A cold knot formed in the pit of her belly when the countess leaned against the doors and glowered in her direction.
“Yousneak,” Lady Blackwood hissed. “How dare you play your games in my house?”
Meredith gasped. Lady Blackwood had been stern with her a few times when Meredith hadn’t followed her directions to the letter, but she had never berated her with such ferocity. Meredith searched her memory for what she could have done wrong and couldn’t think of anything. She had coaxed the girls into eating their vegetables at noon, and she’d had them change into old frocks before they’d walked to the pasture.
The countess’s blond brows arched higher on her forehead. “Isawyou and Blackwood in the castle yard.”
Meredith’s spine grew rigid when the woman speared her with an icy glare and crossed the room. Lord Blackwood’s sister-in-law stopped in front of Meredith, looking down her nose at her. “Are you hoping for a marriage match? Do you thinkyoucould be the next countess?”
“That has never been my aim, ma’am.” Meredith clenched her fists in her lap. The woman’s sardonic tone reminded her too much of the insults she had suffered in London.
