Felicity and her husband would keep Meredith into her dotage if she would allow it, but her lot in life was not to become pampered and useless. Of that much, she was certain. Nevertheless, she couldn’t deny the twinges of homesickness she experienced when she contemplated separating from her family when they returned to Bath. Her nephew would change so much between visits, and she would miss all the baby’s firsts. A splinter of doubt wedged itself into her heart.
“I am grateful to you and Julian. Truly, I am.” She craned her neck to search for signs of the Blackwood carriage, praying it would hurry before her sister could discover the chink in her armor.
Felicity sighed, appearing resigned.
“Take heart,” Meredith said with false cheerfulness. “Perhaps Lord Blackwood will find my qualifications lacking. I could be back within the hour.”
Her qualifications were not really a source of worry. Meredith had always excelled at her lessons. Even before her sister had married Julian and a tutor was hired for her, Meredith’s education had been exemplary. Felicity—having learned medicine at their father’s side when he was still alive—had introduced Meredith to the study of human anatomy, deductive reasoning, and Latin, which was an advantage many ladies were never given. Meredith was as capable of educating a gentleman’s son as she was of teaching his daughters.
Her sister kneaded her lower back with both hands, wincing. “I wouldn’t complain if we were back within the hour.”
Meredith shook her head in disbelief. Despite her sister’s denial, she was not well. She had been grimacing on and off for the last three days. “Felicity, I believe you should go lie down. Remember how bumpy the lane is. You will be miserable even on a short drive.”
“I will be all right.” The tense lines on her forehead said otherwise.
“I do not need a chaperone,” Meredith insisted. “Lady Blackwood will be there. But if I promise to take my maid, will you stay behind?”
“You needn’t worry about—” Felicity hissed, squeezing her eyes together and clutching her stomach.
“You are returning to your chambers. I’ll hear no more arguments.” Meredith slipped her arm around her sister’s waist to assist her back inside the castle. She waved off a footman when he tried to approach, knowing Felicity was too proud to accept his help. Meredith guided her toward the staircase. “Perhaps Julian should send for the midwife.”
“I am not in labor,” Felicity said and leaned against her. “I had early contractions with Reid, too.”
“I recall you lying down when you had them, so no more arguments.”
They climbed the stairs, and Meredith escorted her sister to her chambers. Once Felicity was in bed with pillows propped behind her back, Meredith sat on the edge of the bed.
“I will send word to Blackwood Castle that I won’t be able to assume my duties until tomorrow.”
Her sister’s face softened, and she captured Meredith’s hand. “Meri, don’t you want to fall in love and become a wife someday? You love children. Are you willing to forego the chance to become a mother?”
Her sister’s question initiated a dull pang beneath her breastbone. Meredith had begun the Season with dreams of following her sister’s example and finding a good man to love. But when she’d overheard Lord Hessenford mocking her with a group of gentlemen at Almack’s, her hopes had been crushed. She could still hear the derisive sneer to his voice as he’d proclaimed her an idiot. He’d imitated her stutter and earned the guffaws of the other men.
Her cheeks heated at the remembered humiliation. “Becoming a governess would allow me contact with children.”
“It wouldn’t be the same.” Felicity gently squeezed her hand. “Remember how sweet it was to hold Reid in your arms the first time? Someday you will hold your own babe if only you are patient.”
Meredith glanced toward the door. It was better to avoid thinking about what she would be losing by pursuing this path and focus on what she would gain—a purpose. “Lord Blackwood’s carriage will be here any moment. I should go meet the driver and ask him to relay my message. Surely, the earl and countess will understand the need to delay.”
Felicity’s shoulders sank. “I might not agree with your choice, but if you insist on taking the position, you should arrive as expected. As you said, it is important to make a good impression.”
Her sister’s support meant a lot to Meredith. She smiled and leaned forward to place a kiss on Felicity’s forehead. “Please try to rest while I am gone.”
Felicity held on to her hand as she tried to slip from the side of the bed. “I only want you to be happy, Meri.”
“Thiswillmake me happy. I cannot abide a life of idleness any more than you can.”
Although Felicity had married a man she adored, she hadn’t been able to give up her love for medicine. She restricted her ministrations to their servants for propriety’s sake, except in dire situations. Julian had never tried to stop her from saving lives, as she had done when the local midwife sought her assistance in a breech birth earlier that spring.
“How many burns, cuts, and bumps have you tended since we settled in Bath?” Meredith asked. “How many sniffles and irritable bellies?”
“A fair number, but there is a need, and I love—” Felicity’s eyes widened. Perhaps her sister was finally coming to understand. Eventually, Felicity nodded. “I have been overstepping my bounds, have I not?”
“Perhaps a bit, but I know you are well-intentioned.” Meredith patted her sister’s hand before releasing it and turning toward the door.
“At least take your maid when you go,” Felicity said. “I am holding out hope you will reconsider marriage, and safeguards must be taken to protect your reputation.”
“I will, and please stop worrying.” It was a wasted effort on Felicity’s part. Meredith would not be changing her mind.
