That hit me square in the chest. For the first time in so long I felt seen. My eyes stung, and I fought like hell to keep the tears from following.
“And lessons were learned, right?” Ryan clapped me on the shoulder again. “Next time shit goes down you’ll—”
“Call on you guys to help me bury the body.”
Ryan laughed. “Fuck yeah. I have a bag of lime in the garage and everything.”
“Lime? Are you sure that’s not my bag?” I’d brought a bag over to Maddie’s parent’s house when I’d apologized to her for the whole biker-attempted-murder thing—when they’d gone after her to let me know they were serious about their extortion. The bag of lime was because I’d joked that I’d always promised to help her with anything, including body removal—even if it was mine.
“Did you steal my perfect murder and body disposal plan? Mine involves the desert, an abandoned mineshaft, and a bag of lime,” Ryan said it a matter-of-fact tone like he wasn’t batshit crazy.
I blinked a few times then rubbed at the headache forming behind my eyes with my free hand. “That’s… I don’t—”
“Dinner’s ready,” Aunt Wendy hollered, saving me. “Everyone come grab a seat. Indy, do you want to sit on this side of me?”
I smiled to myself as Aunt Wendy continued to mother Indy and make her feel included.
Everyone convened around the table. Ryan helped Hope arrange the highchair for Fliss while Austin settled Wyatt into his booster seat on the other side of the table. It was still so wild to me that two of my brothers were fathers. How the hell had they grown up so much while I floundered?
“Dylan?” Indy called out. “Are you going to join us?”
I jolted. Literally everyone at the table was staring at me.
Fuck.
I took the remaining empty chair across from Indy and between Brian, Sabrina’s dad, and Logan, Sabrina’s boyfriend.
Before I even sat down, plates were passed around as Nathan dished out pasta for everyone with Sabrina following with chicken parmesan.
“Any allergies, Indy?” Aunt Wendy asked as she loaded salad plates with Caesar salad. “Or foods you particularly dislike?”
Indy shook her head, her eyes wide. “No, everything looks amazing.”
I couldn’t make myself eat. My stomach was still in knots with all the guilt weighing me down. “Um, there’s something I want to say to you all.”
Curious eyes turned toward me. I felt the weight of every single one. Especially Indy’s. I didn’t want her to think less of me or worry about staying with me, but if I didn’t speak up now, I don’t know if I ever would.
I cleared my throat. “I know I have done a lot of stupid shit lately—”
“Preach!” Austin hollered, cutting me off as he raised his beer.
“Hush, you!” Aunt Wendy scolded before tossing a hunk of bread at my asshole brother. Laughter rang out around the table until Aunt Wendy’s glare encompassed everyone. When it was finally quiet, she gestured to me. “Go on, Dylan.”
“Uh, thanks. Uh, I just wanted to sincerely apologize to you all for all the stress and anger and whatever you felt or went through because of me. I just…” I sighed.
“I shouldn’t have fallen for his bullshit. I just…I wanted a father. And then when he was out of prison, I did everything I could to keep his shit from raining down on all of you, but I managed to fail there too. Between the fire, Maddie getting attacked, and all the business contacts I screwed over getting that asshole a job he never bothered to show up for…” I sighed. “I know I failed you all, and I’m sorry for that. I hope you know I’m trying to do better. I will do better, and I won’t fall for his shit again.”
Aunt Wendy’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
Sabrina leaned across her boyfriend to pat my hand. “Forgiven,” she whispered softly.
“I’m proud of you.” Aunt Wendy smiled.
“We talked before,” Maddie said softly. “So, we’re all good.”
“Thanks.”
“I already told you,” Ryan said from the other side of the table. “I don’t need an apology, but I appreciate you giving us one all the same.”
