“It’s fine.”
I turn away before my face betrays me. He doesn’t get to be the one who comforts me now.
I head to the kitchen, mainly to put some distance between us.
“You want a drink?” I ask over my shoulder.
“If you’re having one?”
“Sure.”
I flick on the kettle and stare out at the dark window while it heats.
Why the heck did I offer him a drink? Having him in this little space is killing me.
I can feel him behind me — that solid heat, that presence that fills a room—and the memory slams back before I can shut it out.
That night.
The air heavy with damp pine. His breath on my neck. His hands on my hips, slow and sure, pulling me in until my knees went loose.
He smelled like earth and smoke and something that turned every thought into heat.
He pushed my back against that tree like he couldn’t get close enough, and for one insane moment, I believed he wanted me—really wanted me—the way I’d wanted him for years.
I was shaking. Ready. More than ready. I would’ve given him anything he asked for.
And then?—
just when I thought he was going to take me into his arms, into his life?—
he stepped away.
No explanation.
No apology.
Just left me there, alone in the dark, breathing hard, my whole body lit up like a live wire.
The kettle clicks off. I open my eyes to my own reflection in the dark glass, flushed and furious that I can still feel him.
I grab two mugs from the cupboard and pour the cocoa too fast, so it slops over the rim. My hands are shaking. Ridiculous. All this time later, and it still hurts like crazy.
When I turn, he’s closer than before—standing by the counter, silent, eyes searching my face like he’s trying to read my thoughts.
“Here,” I say, too brisk, shoving the mug toward him. “Cocoa. It’s all I’ve got.”
“Perfect.” His voice is low. Familiar in a way that makes something inside me twist.
I set my own cup down hard. “Is it?”
He blinks. “What?”
“You don’t get to—” I stop myself. My pulse is pounding, and there’s no way I’m finishing that sentence.
You’re just perfect.
That’s what he whispered against my neck that night?—
