Christmas lights were already turned on at many of the houses on Logan’s street, twinkling around my vision as I mentally prepared a speech for when Logan eventually arrived. That was . . . if he did.
I spent two hours sitting on the porch swing in the frigid evening air, revolving through an uneasy smattering of emotions and thoughts as I waited anxiously for any sign of Logan. As the sun dipped lower toward the horizon, more holiday lights flicked on along the cozy neighborhood street, a beautiful depiction of joy that was a sharp contrast from the haunting turmoil I was feeling inside.
Suddenly, my mind honed in on the sound of a familiar engine coming from down the street. I turned my head in the direction it was coming from, and saw Logan’s Chevelle winding its way toward the house. The silhouette of the man I loved sat in the driver’s seat as a small, gray tornado moved around excitedly on the passenger side.
Logan parked the car in his own driveway, no doubt having seen my car in the street. And yet, he hadn’t decided to keep driving, to deny me this conversation and leave me here alone to wallow in self-pity. He was making the choice to stay, to see me, and I felt butterflies overtake my stomach in heavy anticipation.
I watched as he opened his car door and stepped out, glowing in the magic of the sunset. Hook bounded his way out the driver’s side door before tearing across the lawn in a mad dash and running up the steps to sit patiently at the front door. I shifted slightly on the swing, causing the chains to clink against the wood, and Hook noticed I was there. He came running my way, jumping up on his hind legs to ferociously lick my face.
“Hook!” Logan commanded, and just as easily as his call worked last time, Hook was back on the ground in a calm sitting position. Logan shook his head. “Damn dog. Come on.” I watched as he unlocked his front door and opened it to let Hook in as I sat in place, unsure if he was going to invite me in or not. As soon as Hook was inside, Logan shut the door and took a few steps toward me, his heavy brown coat zipped up high around his neck, his dark boots thudding against the wooden porch. His face was indecipherable, giving nothing away as his eyes shifted to me.
I felt anxious. Worried that if I took my eyes off of him for even a second, he would be gone. That this desperate and fiery blaze between us might be as fleeting as the snow, melting before I had a chance to really feel it between my fingers. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this, but you haven’t been answering any of my calls or texts and . . . I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Logan tucked his hands into his coat pockets as he sat down next to me on the porch swing, keeping ample space between us. “Don’t be sorry, Amelia. I understand.”
“I have a lot of things I want to say to you. And I need you to just listen, okay? Can you do that?”
The hint of a smile played on his lips, and I felt my heart skip a beat in response. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Okay.” I nodded, before taking a deep breath. “Look. I know what happened with Adam was probably the worst case scenario of things that could have possibly happened during our . . . trial phase. But I know that my brother cares for both of us very deeply, and I think he was just a little blindsided. You didn’t deserve that reaction from him, and I’m so, so sorry that it happened. In all fairness, though, I shouldn’t have had you over to his apartment like that. It was irresponsible of me to take advantage of his hospitality, so I know that I owe both of you that apology.”
“Amelia, that wasn’t your fault,” Logan cut in. “That wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just happened. Don’t blame yourself.” He kept his hand in his coat pockets, kept his body a solid few inches away from mine, and I yearned to touch him, but I shoved the feeling down and continued.
“Maybe, but I still could have prevented it from happening.” I sighed, feeling my chest loosen as words began to pour out of me. “Logan—you have a dog with a disability. Employees who have been dealt some shitty cards in their lives. You surround yourself with these mirror images of the way you feel inside—broken and discarded. And then you give those reflections of yourself everything you have . . . to help. And you do. You make them all better.
“You can fix all the broken things in the entire world if you want to, but it’s still not going to fix the way you feel about yourself until you tacklethathead-on. You areworthyof love, Logan. Without a doubt. Love isn’t something to be held back just because pain might also exist. And I’m sure as hell not going to hold back from you. I love you. I always have and I always will. I’ve loved you for as long as I can even remember, and I will love you every single day for the rest of my life. I feel like I just startedliving, finally giving in to this special pull that leads me right to you.
“I want to marry you, have babies with you, grow old with you, and love you harder every single day.” I watched as he straightened his back, his amber eyes piercing me with enormous intensity, but I kept going, feeling almost frantic with a desperate need for him to know how much I loved him. “I want to be your family. I don’t want you to just be a part of mine, although you’ll always have that too, but I want to give you one that’syours. I want tobeyours, Logan. I want to be Amelia Davis . . .”
Before I could keep sputtering out words in my fight to convince him, his mouth was on mine. His arms wrapped around me tightly as he pulled me flush against him on the swing. It was a chaotic, maddeningly beautiful kiss of promises. Of forever. Offinally. It was the moment I knew, with clarity and certainty, that Logan really was going to be the happy ending to my story.
“Amelia.” He said my name like only he could, curling his voice around my heart. He bent down to kiss me again, pressing his lips to the corner of my mouth. “I talked to my dad yesterday.”
I blinked up at him, surprised by his words. “You did?”
“Yes.” He dipped his head as a small smile grew on his lips. “I borrowed your thinking space in the red rocks, I hope you don’t mind.” He grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers into mine as he gently stroked my inner wrist with his thumb. “I needed to get lost for a minute and clear my head, so I decided to take Hook back out to that trail because I wanted to be close to you, too.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said that night in the city, about deserving to be happy. And I realized how much my fears have gotten in the way of that. I always knew the fears were there, always a part of me, but I don’t think I’ve truly realized how much control they still have over my life. I was out on that trail and I found this boulder off to the side under a big tree, and I decided to sit and . . . I don’t know what came over me, but I just started talking to my father.
“I told him that, wherever he is now, I hope he’s free from the pain and anger that he was fighting every day that he was alive. That I like to think he isn’t a broken man anymore. The more I talked, the more I felt the weight of it all start to seep out of me.” He shook his head. “I spent over an hour sitting under that tree, just talking. I told him about you and that, respectfully, I’m going to do things completely different than he did. That I’m not going to let fear control me anymore. Life’s already complicated enough, so I’m choosing to chase happiness, instead.” He squeezed my hand, smiling brightly at me. “I’m choosing this, Amelia. I’ll choose you every damn day for the rest of my life. And I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get here, but I promise you, I’ll make up for it.”
And then his mouth was on mine again, pulling me over his lap so I was straddling his waist. The porch swing rocked back and forth as our kiss became fervent. I felt tears slipping down my cheeks, the salt hitting my lips as his tongue caught mine.
He must have realized I was crying, because he pulled away and brought a warm hand to my face, gently wiping away the proof. “I’m so sorry for leaving you hanging. I never meant to hurt you. I just . . . I needed self-reflection. I needed the space to deal with myself. But I know, without a doubt, that I alsoneedyou in my life, Amelia. Now that I know what it is to have you, I will never, ever let you go. Come hell or high water, it’s you and me. Okay?”
More tears streamed down my face as I sputtered out a sob of joy. “Okay, baby,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck.
I watched his eyes flash with surprise as a big smile grew on his lips. “Say it again,” he said, so softly I almost couldn’t hear him.
“Okay,” I repeated.
“No, no. The other part.”
I paused, realizing what he meant, a matching smile inching up my own face. I watched as his eyes flicked down to my mouth, wanting to watch me say the word. I wrapped a hand around the back of his head, steadying myself as I whispered, “Baby.”
Logan groaned before standing up, lifting me with him as my legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed me up against the front wall of his house and kissed me so fiercely I thought I might faint.
He opened the door and carried me inside, walking straight back to his bedroom. Hook was chasing after his feet, but once he stepped into his room, he kicked the door behind him. He ran a hand up my back as his mouth devoured me, claiming me forever.
