“Yeah, he proposed on Thanksgiving.”
“I’ll text them both and give them congratulations. And I better be invited to that wedding—you think they’ll have an open bar?”
I giggled as I shook my head, wondering how old Adam would have to get before he finally lost his inner party animal.
“These croquettes are done!” Rachel flitted toward the dining table with a platter in her hands.
I quickly poured dressing on the salad and mixed the vegetables around. “Salad is ready, too,” I shared as I brought the large bowl to the table and set it down next to the platter. Adam followed behind me with a bottle of wine and three glasses expertly cradled in his hands.
We all took seats around the table and filled our plates. I stuffed my mouth with a forkful of croquette and moaned. “Oh my god, Rachel, this is so good.”
She giggled. “Thanks! I made them for Adam a few months ago and he loved them, so I wanted to make them again. They’re honestly pretty easy.”
I looked over at Adam and saw him chewing with his eyes closed for a moment before he finally opened them and caught me watching him. “Why have we never had these before?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Our mother clearly deprived us—that wicked woman.”
Rachel clutched her chest as a fit of laughter overtook her, which caused Adam to grin at her. I could tell that he liked making her laugh. Inside of my chest, my heart swooned for them.
“So, Rachel,” I said as soon as her laughter died down. “Do you have a traditional work week?”
“Mostly. Depending on the project I’m working on, sometimes the hours can get a little wonky, but right now it’s a normal Monday through Friday. What about you? You get to kind of make your schedule whatever you want it to be, don’t you?”
“Yeah, it’s part of why I went freelance. I love the freedom. For the most part I work from home, but sometimes I’ll schedule in-person meetings or site visits. I’m actually going to Logan’s shop tomorrow to get a lay of the land so that I can help him with some marketing.”
“Oh!” Adam interjected, his attention on Rachel. “That reminds me. I need to text him and see if he’s free this weekend for that concert.”
This piqued my interest. “Concert?”
Adam’s eyes flicked to me. “Yeah, Mumford & Sons are playing at the Red Rocks and I was going to see if he wanted to double date with us.”
Liquid acid spread through my belly and up my throat, my chest suddenly unbearably tight. I tried to keep my expression as neutral as possible as I asked, “Oh, Logan’s dating someone?”
Adam dipped his head and gave a torturous confirmation. “Yeah, remember Mara, from high school? They reconnected earlier this year, I think.”
Mara. Flashes of the tan, blonde-haired goddess tore through my mind as my heart completely sunk. I felt a panic rise inside of me, its long talons crushing my throat. I stared down at the shine of a reflection on my plate and tried to count to ten, tried to calm myself down, but I was absolutely spiraling. “I don’t feel well, I’m going to go lay down,” I said, needing an exit from this table.
I heard Rachel gasp. “Oh no! It’s not the chicken, is it?”
I shook my head, “No, the food is great, Rachel, really. I just think I might be coming down with something . . .” I scooted my chair back from the table, nearly knocking it over in the process. “I’ll just put my plate in the fridge for later.” I tried so hard to muster up a smile on my face, but I don’t think it worked. I shuffled into the kitchen, placing my dinner on a shelf inside the fridge and then headed to my room, swiftly shutting the door.
I sat down on the edge of my bed and let my head fall between my knees. The panic within me wasn’t letting up, and I knew I needed to get control of my breathing before I had a full-on panic attack. It took everything in me to force myself to breathe in for five seconds, and breathe out for five seconds. I repeated this over and over again until I could feel myself begin to calm down.
I needed to talk to Logan. I needed to hear this from him. And if it was true, if he was seeing someone else, I knew that it would completely break me. But I needed to hear the truth, and I needed to hear it from him.
I would just ask him tomorrow, as soon as I got to the shop. I would take him to his office and tell him to be honest with me.
This is a risk we take together.
His words from last night echoed in my mind. He couldn’t possibly hurt me like that, could he?
I won’t hide my feelings from you, not anymore. I promise.
Did that include feelings he had for someone else? I felt my pulse begin to rise again and promptly shut the question down in my head. There was no point in spending the entire night catapulting myself into dangerous thoughts. I knew that we were playing with fire as it was and if it didn’t work out, one or both of us was going to get really hurt. I just couldn’t imagine the hurt being intentional. I couldn’t imagine Logan,myLogan, toying with my heart like that.
So I would ask him tomorrow. Demand that he be honest with me. And pray like hell that Adam was wrong. Because if he wasn’t . . . Well, I wasn’t sure I could survive that kind of heartbreak.
ChapterTwenty
