“I don’t know if you know this, but when you kissed me that night, you changed my entire life. You seared something inside of me that you can’t ever take back, something permanent that I haven’t been able to ignore. Trust me, Itried, Logan. I tried to move on. I tried to date other people, tried to build a life that didn’t include you in it . . . not in the way I wanted, at least. But it always felt like living life in black and white, void of all color. Nothing ever felt right, nothing around me had meaning.Youshowed me colors in a way I’d never experienced them before, and it changed me.”
I paused, realizing that I’d just revealed so much. I felt incredibly vulnerable, lying naked in Logan’s arms having also just bared my heart to him. But it was worth it—worth it for Logan to hear that he was wanted, to say all of the things that had been on my heart for so many years.
He reached up to brush a strand of hair that had fallen into my face before his eyes settled back on my lips. “I really don’t deserve you, Amelia.” And then he moved toward my face again, as if the urge to do so was the only thing he could yield to at this moment. His lips brushed against mine and I felt my heart pound against his chest.
The need for Logan to understand how much he meant to me flared up from my bones. The deep, unwavering need to appreciate him, to adore him, to spoil him—anything I could do to fight against his hidden insecurities, against his belief that he was damaged because of a past that he had no control over—consumed me.
This was a part of him that no one else quite understood. To the rest of my family, Logan appeared to be walking through life on solid ground. He was confident, driven, focused—lord knew he was strong. But hidden in the depths of his soul was a man desperate to be truly, fully, deeply loved. A man who was scared to death of becoming his father. Who needed, sometimes, to fall apart. But who felt like at any moment, everything good around him could be ripped away if he was incapable of maintaining the house of cards that he’d created to survive.
Thiswas who he’d been showing me since we were kids. The part of himself who needed someone to recognize his vulnerabilities and tell him it was okay. Logan trusted me. And that was, quite frankly, the greatest honor of my life.
It would take time, of course, to successfully break through the walls he’d built so high against the rest of the world. But now knowing that this electric force between us was real, that it wasn’t something I’d built up inside of my mind to settle and soothe my own ego . . . I would make it my life’s mission to love Logan as hard and as fiercely as I could.
Love. It seemed so fast. So wildly messy. But this love had been slowly brewing under the surface for as long as I could remember.
For now, our bodies were communicating in a way that our hearts and minds couldn’t quite articulate through words. It was like a new, foreign language. There was confession in his touch, longing in his shallow breaths, and I mirrored his need with my own.
As Logan kissed the hollow spot of skin beneath my ear, I situated myself over him so that my legs straddled his hips. Bending over his gloriously warm body, I skated my mouth along his neck as I felt him position himself beneath me before he pushed inside of me again.
I sat up straight, my back curving as my head rolled at the exquisite feeling of him. Closing my eyes, I began moving my body in a glorious rhythm against his, feeling his breath catch as he half-mumbled praises ofjust like thatandgood girlandyou’re so perfect, Amelia.
There was no doubt in my mind that, just as his kiss had done eight years ago, this night was going to absolutely wreck me. There was simply no coming back from something like it. I was irrevocably changed, forever branded by Logan’s fingerprints. By his lips. He existed so deeply within my heart and bones and soul that I wouldn’t be able to disentangle myself from him even if I’d wanted to, and I doubted that I ever would.
This night was about more than just sex. It felt fated, like there was no one else that I should be sharing a bed with. No one else that could ever share my heart with.
ChapterFourteen
“Something smells amazing,”I said as I turned around the corner to the kitchen. Rachel was standing at the stove with a large ladle in her hand and one of my mother’s pastel pink aprons tied around her waist. She was the epitome of a gorgeous, modern housewife, practically glowing in the morning sunlight.
“I’m making pancakes for everyone.” Her smile was bright as she pointed out a bowl of batter sitting on the counter next to the stove.
“Wow. After yesterday, I’m surprised you have a desire to be back in the kitchen.”
Rachel giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear. I noticed she had a bit of loose flour on her cheek. “I don’t mind. I wanted to do something nice for everyone.” She used the ladle to pour batter into the pan. “You guys have been so warm and welcoming toward me, and I happen to have a pretty killer cinnamon pancake recipe. I found all the ingredients in the pantry. It’s really not a big deal.”
“Can I help with anything?” I looked around for an opportunity to jump in.
“I got it! It’s easy. We’ll eat in, like, twenty minutes.”
I nodded. “Sounds great. Where is everyone?”
“Adam and Logan are out shoveling the driveway. We got over a foot of snow last night!” I watched as her eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. “I haven’t seen your parents yet this morning . . . they might still be in bed?”
I looked at the time display on the stove next to Rachel and saw that it was almost nine thirty. It wasn’t like my parents to sleep in this late, but we’d stayed up the last few nights—not to mention all the cocktails that had been consumed—so it was good that they were getting their rest.
I decided to go back upstairs and get a start on packing. We’d be heading back to Denver today and I was starting to feel a mild churning of anxiety in my stomach about leaving Breckenridge. This had been, without a doubt, the best few days of my life. Last night with Logan was nothing short of a fairy tale beyond my wildest dreams. But what happens now, after we leave the magical bubble of this house?
Logan and I had a lot to figure out and there were many conversations to be had. I was certainly up for the task, knowing that it could mean finally being with him after all this time . . . but I also knew him. I knew his fears, and I knew that there was a strong chance of him pulling away from me again like he’d done before. Based on his actions in the past, there was a possibility that he’d try to avoid talking about what happened altogether.
I wasn’t sure I could survive that. Not again.
I made it back up to my bedroom and shut the door behind me before letting my body fall onto the soft comforter on my bed. I felt utterly exhausted despite the bright, electric humming that still thrummed within my body.
I’d left Logan’s room just as the sun began to rise this morning, quietly slipping back across the hallway after spending the early morning hours wrapped up in his arms. I only managed to sleep for a couple of hours in my own bed before the sunlight was blasting through the bedroom window and straight into my face.
I heard my phone vibrate from where it was still charging on the nightstand. Reaching out to grab it, I saw the notification was for a text from my best friend.
Mackenzie
